Sad News, Thankful Day

Family
65 Comments

Hello all. Where to begin?

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I’ll start with a shot of the cutting table at present. I was snapping this photo yesterday when I received the call that my father-in-law had died. The project has remained untouched ever since, a reminder of sudden upset and a shift in the week’s priorities.  We were able to get Isaac out the door almost immediately. He’s flown to Washington to comfort and support his mother and siblings. I wish we had been able to secure travel for me and the kids to go with him at that time. I adore my in-laws and am hurting for their loss. From what I hear, their evening was filled with much singing, both solemn and light, as well as requisite tears and a sprinkling of laughter. A healthy farewell. 

The news is still rather fresh and I haven’t yet sorted through my feelings, (currently a jarbled ponder). I’m glad to be heading their way with my son on Friday to offer hugs and tears, whatever comfort I can lend. Until then, I’ve taken on the mantle of grand pie-maker, as a measure of support for my husband…

In Isaac’s family, Thanksgiving can be a bigger deal than Christmas. And the fervor is most notably reflected in the pie-count. (I believe the record stands at 17 homemade pies for one Thanksgiving celebration.) Isaac has taken this tradition to heart and when we’re not celebrating with the Baileys, the pie-making falls to us (mostly Isaac). 

This was to be one of those years. So, Monday night, we set out as a family to gather supplies and foster that holiday feeling. We packed the fridge tight, with berries and butter and all sorts of yummy goodness, planning today as a full day of pie-making, with Elijah as apprentice. But then, with last night’s terrible news, the prime pie-man headed out of town in a hurry.

On the way to the airport to drop him off, our discussion was focused on pie and the logistics of successful pie-preparation. There was no talk of store-bought alternatives or even the weightier matters at hand. With this conversation, it became clear to me that these pies, especially this year, stand for more than good eats. In his buried grief, somewhere, Isaac wants the reassurance that Thanksgiving goes on, that pies go on, that life goes on. So tonight I make pies, lots and lots of pies: pies of love, pies of sympathy, pies of support, pies my husband would have made had our holiday gone as planned. Isaac will have his pies, even if he’s not here to share them. And with this, I hold the hope that my husband will know he’s loved.

So, today, I am thankful that the Baileys have Thanksgiving. That the love and laughter they share tomorrow will strengthen them through this painful time. I long to be there with them as they scurry about prepping all of the many necessary family traditions. I’ve never known a more passionate lot.

65 Comments

  3. Dear Heather, I send my condolences. I am so sorry for your loss. I wish I had better words but what you have shared about family, Thanksgiving, pie , life has so touched my heart. Thank you and a bittersweet Thanksgiving to you, Clarice

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  5. so sorry to hear of your loss. i imagine this is especially hard as its so close to the holidays – especially one that was obviously so special to the family. my thoughts are with you.

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  8. So sorry to hear your sad news. I lost one of my closest friends last week and when I would come home at night after seeing her husband and girls, I would make a hot chocolate, wrap my favourite quilt around me and read my favourite blogs (including yours). It was one of the few things I could focus on and find comfort in. I hope you find comfort in making your pies, and knowing that there are people across the other side of the world thinking about you and your family.

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  9. Oh Heather. I am so sorry.
    I’m up late, doing what else…..baking pies for our Thanksgiving celebration. (It seems we share a similar tradition.) I wish I could bake some of your pies for you…for no other reason than a sincere gesture of kindness in hopes that your load might be lighter.
    Thank you for sharing your humbling experience and for the great reminder for me to cherish all that I am thankful for.
    {{{heartfelt hugs}}}

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  11. This is my first time visiting your blog so I feel a little foolish offering condolences but I love your post.
    Pie is my favourite thing in the whole world. (Okay, maybe my family comes first, but they know pie is right up there with them). If I had a bereavement I would love somebody to be baking pies for me. That would make me feel loved.
    Beautiful blog by the way. Great photographs. Are they all yours?
    I’ll be linking to you.

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  15. Heather and Issac I am sorry to hear of your family’s loss. My thoughts and prayers are with you at this time. When things like this happen I am always reminded that the Native American Indians have no word for Goodbye, they say “Until we meet again”.

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  16. I’m sorry for your loss. I do hope your family really does find comfort in those pies. Good luck with the family this weekend and have a happy Thanksgiving. Your family is in our prayers.

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  22. what a heartfelt tribute to your family heather, but what a wonderful tradition to help through the difficult loss.
    all my support to you and your family.

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  23. I’m so sorry to hear about your father-in-law, but had to smile at the pie discussion on the way to the airport. How wonderful to know you will be able to do something at home to comfort your husband while he’s away. I love how traditions can do that. A peaceful Thanksgiving to you.

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  30. Oh Heather! I am so sorry to hear about your FIL. Love to Issac and his family. What a fitting tribute the pies will be indeed! I am rather close to Washington (hovering slightly above it) and will send many loving vibes for everyone!!
    Enjoy the pies!
    ~gyl

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  34. What horrible news, I am all teared up from reading your loving post about your family. Your pies are the finest I have ever seen and a great sign of love and care indeed. I hope you all will get through this and that you have lots of happy days ahead.

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  35. I’m so sorry to hear of your families terrible loss. How sweet you are to take on the responsibility of the pie making and keep the tradition going. Let them eat pie.

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  38. I have empathy for you at this time it is never fun to have the passing of a loved one. Be rest assured he is in our heavely fathers care and all your family will get to see him again in the after life. I had a great great aunt ( relationship my great grand mothers sister) who died christmas eve when I was 20. Christmas eve still reminds me of her and all the fun I had playing at her house with my cousions when I was a little child. I am sure the families will be greatful for all you have done to make the celebration go on life is a celebration of all God has to offer us Life family and love. I think what your family proves that. Much love and well wishing to all. Sunshine

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  46. Dear Issac, Heather and family,
    We mourn the loss of your father and fellow acquaintance from the good ‘ol Hayward High days. Issac’s family ALWAYS has an open hearted home for all. Many happy memories of band concerts at the high school with our family, yours and many others. Sending our love and prayers of comfort.
    Love, Laurie and family~

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  47. Heather, I’m sorry for the loss of your loved one and commend you and your family for wanting to carry on your traditions despite your sorrow. I’m sure your father in law would have wanted it that way and for the family to stay close now and in the years to come.
    Your pies look delicious and so beautiful, no wonder pie making holds such high reverence in your family traditions.
    lucy

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  48. you remind us how we care for each other through food and tradition. it is a good thing to remebember when at times you wonder why you go through all the trouble. peace be with all of you.

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  51. Oh wow, I am so sorry. Isn’t so strange when you can look at something like your cutting table and think, that was before. I’ll be thinking about you and your family in the coming days.

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  56. Heather dear,
    I too am sorry to hear of your loss. I am sending love the kisses your way and to the all the Baileys. I am thankful for the eternal plan, Heavenly Father’s love and for Families being able to be together forever. And I am thankful for your life’s perspective and your pies, both are beautiful.
    Gina

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  58. Oh, Heather, I am so sorry to hear your sad news. I, too, was making pies; my family always used together-meals — for holidays or just visits home when we were together — as our time. So I get the pies thing, very well. I imagine Isaac and his family will always remember that you finished that job for him, and be thankful to you for it.
    I am grateful this year for so many things, and having found your site and been exposed to your creativity and joie de vivre are among those things for which I’m thankful. So. Thank you.

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  60. Heather & family,
    I’m so sorry for your lost. Elinor and Gary had a special love and I know how they love their family. I have the pleasure of knowing Elinor and I met Gary a couple of times at Doll Shows. All of your family are in my thoughts and prayers. Take care of each other.
    Love & Hugs
    Fran Parrigan Meehan
    Las Vegas, NV

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  62. I’m so sorry. When I heard I thought, how can they have thanksgiving with out your father in law, he was so much a part of the tradition.
    About 10 years ago I joined the family for thanksgiving when I was far away from my family at college. I will never forget the pies, the laughter, the traditional singing and love all in one big Bailey family! I will always remember that thanksgiving with graditude. It was just what I needed for homesickness that year.
    Hang in there. Thanks for sharing your pies with all of us!

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  63. I’m very sorry for your family’s loss. My thoughts are with you.
    This is a good reminder to be thankful everyday, not just on Thanksgiving. Thank you, for sharing that with us, Heather.
    xo

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  64. Very sorry to hear of your loss. Especially tough to come at holiday/family time. I was brought to tears though of your description of the pies – the pies of love, sympathy, etc. It is a testament to you & your husband’s strong families and the love & comfort that you find within them. Hugs from MN.

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