Sewing

Now, that’s how you whip up a happy birthday! Thanks for the tidal wave of goofy jokes – my dumb chicken joke seems extra dumb now. Not only did I laugh, but I also giggled, gasped and guffawed. And, your outpouring of jokes had me in such a fabulous mood all day! What love – thank you!

As far as the laughs go, I don’t think I’ll look at the numbers 0 and 8 in the same way again. And, I wish that I had a Grandmother Pizza. Picking a winner was harder than ever expected. In fact, I brought the jokes with me to my birthday dinner for input (you can see the manuscript beneath my right arm, below). Pink Fluff, Magic Beer, and The Decoy won rave reviews, as well as Darth Vader Party Pooper and 9, 8, 7, 6… And, that was only the first half of what came in!

So, coming from a gal who has her husband order food for her (indecisive – too many choices!), I’d like to present the first place ribbon to Caroline (Dollie Daydream) for:

Q:    Why did the skeleton burp in church?

A:    Because he didn’t have the guts to fart.

My mother is still trying to decide if she could get away with telling this one at church. Caroline will have her pick of the pincushions and this fabulous ribbon to flaunt around town – wear it with pride!

As for the birthday list, mission accomplished! (Except for the fact that wish #1 was so well-met that it prevented postponed wish #2.) As a bonus, Isaac made me breakfast lunch. Then, not long after, I had a fantastic dinner with my loved ones (and your menagerie of jokes), glutting myself on Godiva Chocolate Cheesecake, with White Chocolate Raspberry Truffle Cheesecake as my palette cleanser – whoa! Then, Isaac and I snuck off to the bookstore, followed by The Devil Wears Prada, while my mother watched the kids. An ideal day.

(Yes, wish #4 was squeezed in as well – but it will require its own future post.)

Finally, you have to see the birthday card from my sister, Julia. She bought it for me almost a decade ago, finding it irresistibly perfect. She then stashed it away for my next birthday and forgot about it every year since. I can’t have changed too much over the years, because this card is still as Heathery as they come. In fact, lock me in a room with nothing to do, for long enough, and I’ll knit myself a scarf from my own hair – or perhaps a hammer and a chisel to escape with.

Tomorrow’s my birthday – the best day of the year. And this year, for my birthday, my list is rather simple:

I’m off to a good start today with that pedicure, thanks to my SIL, Merris. Seeing as I’m generally a short-nails, no-polish kind of gal, this was my first pedicure ever! So, in honor of my first pedicure ever, I went all-out and authorized a celebratory sprig of flowers to bedeck my toes – white flowers, with red crystal centers. Hours later, I’m still in debate over whether toe-flowers are ‘me’ or not – they sure are cute – toe wiggle – perhaps too cute? – toe wiggle. And the lotion they used! I’m not a lotion kind of gal either, but I’d sure like to get my hands (or feet) on some of that stuff!

As for the other items on the list, they’re all in the works. In fact, I have big plans for that last one – the laugh – and, I’m counting on you. OK, cut the prologue – JOKE CONTEST – right here, right now! Get me with your favorite joke or shaggy-dog story, and win your pick of these pears!

Rule #1:    Nothing dirty or vulgar
Rule #2:    No swearing (“¿!#*?!#” is fine)
Rule #3:    No offense if I edit your joke for not following the rules

Tip:  I like dumb jokes too.  One of my all-time favorites is:
Q:   “Why DIDN’T the chicken cross the road?”
A:    “Because he was a chicken!”

Come on, humor me – literally. Oh please? It’s my birthday!

I’ll announce the winner sometime on Sunday Monday. (This is way too much fun!)

Sitting still can be frustrating. I’m not any good at it. So, when we rent a movie or go to my parents’ house for dinner, I’m always hunting around my studio at the last minute for some grab-n-go project I can fiddle with — ironically, I like to stay busy to relax.  But worse, when it’s time to relax, I’m usually too tired to think up a project, make the preliminary design decisions, and pack up the necessary supplies I’Il need at the park, at the library, or on the couch. (Usually, I end up with my trusty sketchbook and a mechanical pencil — or skip relaxing all together.)

Enter the Yo-Yo-Flower. Aren’t these fun? And, so simple to make! On Saturday, I bought some coasters at an antique store in St. Louis, where the owners were busy making these frillies to mark time through the hot summer. (I should have checked the name of the store — I thought it would be on the receipt, but no.)  My thoughts: “Nifty flowers — I love yo-yos –I was just thinking about yo-yo flowers — cool — I could make these in front of the t.v. — heck, my son could make these — yes — when I get home, I’ll pack a little tin of fabric scraps and vintage buttons, with a needle and a spool of thread, to keep on hand as my emergency pacifier — oh, and wire!” 

Well, to sum things up rather abruptly, I found myself some simple relief for a small aggravation — a perfect thing to share. So, I pass this happy hoo-ha along to the other manic makers out there. I’m predicting that Yo-Yo Flowers will be the next wave of vedge-crafting — at the Bailey’s, at least.