It’s my birthday. Hooray! And I’m serving up some goodies, like last year. Care for a slice?
The price? Tell me your most embarrassing story. Moo-ha-ha (evil
laugh, twiddling fingers). Of course, I can never think of one of my
own. Never. Either my life’s been dull, I’m not easily embarrassed,
or I’m in complete denial. Isaac, on the other hand, just shouted from
the other room that his whole life has been one embarrassing story.
After an hour of straining for an embarrassing memory, my best offering is a story Isaac insists I should find embarrassing:
My husband is a huge fan of The Lord of the Rings series. He claims to
have read the series at least 20 times ("about once a year since I was
twelve.") So, when one of the movies came out (not sure which), I
rummaged through my fabrics and old costume bits, and ran out to
various thrift stores to put together makeshift costumes for us to wear
(an act of love & support — complete, unabashed geekiness). I
even got my sister & brother and their spouses on board. Isaac was
a leather-clad man of Gondor and I was an elf, of course. My dress was
some bulky, crazy dragonfly- inspired costume I designed in college. I
needed equally awesome hair, so I hopped from beauty store to beauty
store in search of long locks to add to my own. In one of those store,
I discovered these things called "hair rats," which are like long logs
of rolled-up hair. They’re used for adding volume to buns and
beehives, I guess. I’d never heard of such a thing. Hold that
thought.
So, the movie geek fest was a complete disappointment on my end, I
couldn’t find a parking spot in time and ended up running to the
theater, then hunting out my family in the dark as the opening credits
rolled. No one ever saw my amazing braided elf hair, glued on ears,
and repurposed-junk-jewelry headdress. Ah well. I do think Isaac, who
arrived in a separate car, had plenty of fun scaring small children in
his grungy leather garb and scraggily blond wig (with real yak hair
glued to his chin — now that’s commitment!) And that was the point,
after all, for Isaac to have a blast.
Ok, back to the story. So, some time later, in examining my hair
brush and its need of a de-hairing, I had a thought, "Hmmm. How do
those hair rat things work anyhow?" I pulled the hair from my brush,
rolled it up, and started playing. Not that embarrassing really, but strange enough to keep it to myself, I guess. I never did find
the perfect use for my homemade hair rat, I have a lot of hair already,
but I did leave the thing in my bathroom drawer.
Weeks later, along came Isaac, minding his own business, looking for
some sort of something, and discovered that abandoned hair wad for
which he demanded (with a mighty smirk) an explanation. He has a major disgust for lost hair (which makes the yak-hair beard even more remarkable).
I explained myself, the history, the fascination, the miraculous height of 60s hair and so on. Oh, he laughed. And. he. laughed. By the
time he got a grip, I was feeling a bit embarrassed. Isaac still can’t get over it and brings it up to embarrass me whenever possible.
Ya, I know, I haven’t set the standard very high. I guess I
could make a birthday wish for something terribly embarrassing to
happen this year so I’ll never have a blank look again when asked for
my most embarrassing story. Or maybe posting that atrociously posey
photo of us in costume can be my new story (I was trying to be all "my hero!" campy, but that doesn’t really come across). And, yes, I’m feeling a slight tinge of embarrassment now.
So anyhow, in consideration of all poor, generally unembarrassed
souls like myself, I’ll give one stack of fat quarters at random, even
if your story’s not very good đ But the other stack, the other stack
goes to the most hysterically- horrible embarrassing story ever told.
So, bring it on! I’m ready for a good laugh… or cry.
Oh, and here’s a token photo of Isaac & I as old folks (that’s
some sort of plate behind Isaac’s head). I found this treasure while
hunting for the elf photo. We were gussied up for a friend’s 30th
birthday party. Laura calls this proof that I don’t embarrass easily.
Well… my most embarrasing moment was about 15 years ago. It was shortly after I graduated high school. My (now) husband and I were fooling around by a (what we thought) was an abandoned warehouse in my truck. We had *ahem* just finished and was just about to get ready to go and another vehicle drove up, then drove out of the parking area. We put our clothes back on and started to leave. I was driving and was scared to put the lights on. Big mistake. I drove strait into a ditch. Not a few minutes later cops drove up. My hair was very short, so the cops thought it was two guys in the truck. My DH got out of the truck to talk to the cops, but I still couldn’t turn around. Evidently, there had been a rash of burgleries in that building and the owners were driving by to check on the place and saw the truck and thought they were being robbed. Nope, just two stupid teens that ended up stuck in a ditch. We ended up having to call a tow truck and pay a bunch to get the truck out of the ditch. The cops ended up laughing and let us go. There… my most embarrasing moment out for the world to see.
By the way, Happy Birthday.
Happy birthday.
I’ve got one for you. I was hanging out in our pool when I was a teenager. A boy whom I had loved–madly–since my youngest days was there too. I had just seen The Graduate and thought the transition shot of Ben descending onto his pool float then landing on Mrs. Robinson was great (I still do). I was talking about it with guy-I-wanted-to-impress and hoisted myself up on the pool float, like Ben in the movie. Except I snagged the front of my swimsuit on the edge of the float completely baring my chest to him. He and I are still friends and he still talks about “the time I saw your breats.”
Most embarrassing moment I can think of off hand is:
My husband and I were at a lawyers office and waiting so we were seated. When he finally came to greet us and call us into his office I went to stand and instead of standing fully upright I fell flat at his feet >.< Yep that's right face in shoe! My face was red the whole entire meeting! Thank goodness it we were the only ones in the waiting room. ::cheese::
Happy Birthday Heather. As for embarassing stories I have an 8 year old boy – nuff said?
Have a fabulous day.
HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!! love the photo and that pic of you two as old fogies is fabulous! đ & happy birthday!
ok, here’s my story:
(i cannot BELIEVE what i am doing for a chance at some fabric! LOL)
in high school, i had a bit of the gassies in algebra class. it was an extreme situation and then, all of a sudden, i had to sneeze. when the sneezed escaped from my face, the treacherous gassies also made a quick (and quite loud!) exit. i was mortified!
not only did my classmates get an earful, but apparently so did some wayward hall wanderers. one happened to be my crush. i didn’t know this until after class, while at my locker, the crush (whose locker was next to mine swoon!) said “hey, did you hear that fart in mrs. b’s class? man, it was so loud i heard it out here in the hall.”
me: “um….nooo… ????????????”
inside my head: “EEEEEEEEEEK!!!!!!!!!!!”
so, not only did my classmates start using the clever word “snart” quite frequently, they also engaged in lovely imitation “snarts” for my benefit, lest i forget.
let’s fast forward a few weeks, shall we?
after the frenzy had died down, one day i opened our school’s newspaper and as i was reading through it, i came across a “most embarrassing moment” section. well, can you guess which story was the most sought after? mine, of course! complete with my name!
i could never look my crush in the face again and the elusive snart followed me for the next 2 years.
and i still laugh my ass off every time i think about it. and i secretly love to tell this story….it always receives fits of giggles and who doesn’t love that? đ
Not now if it is the MOST embarrassing but it was funny when I was reading a book and thought this clear door was open. I walked smack dab into the door and launched myself back onto my butt. The running part was that no one saw me but I jumped up feeling guilty and looking around for witnesses. My reaction was so funny that I had to tell everyone that day. It was embarrassing and yet so funny.
(Arg! Of course my power blinked out right before I posted my comment! Here I go with a re-writeâŚ)
Happy Birthday, Heather!
Iâm sure I have other embarrassing stories, but this is the only one I can ever come up with when asked, though I never actually tell it. So, here you go:
When I was in 7th grade I rode the city bus home from school along with a group of other kids who were always the troublemakers. On this particular day I ended up being last on to the bus and had to stand in front of the bench going across the back, where of course these âbadâ kids were sitting.
About halfway through the ride home, one of the kids decided to flip my skirt up. That would have been embarrassing enough, for them to see my underwear and what I thought were disgustingly huge thighs and a fat butt (I was totally normal sized). But, this happened to be the day when, in my inexperience in such matters, I was caught unprepared for a certain monthly visit and ended up making do with a wad of folded-up toilet paper.
So, these 4-5 kids got an eyeful of my undies with toilet paper sticking out the sides. None of them even laughed â I think they were surprised. One kid did say âmaybe you should consider spandex next timeâ â I guess suggesting that I shouldnât be wearing a skirt without something besides just my underwear underneath. Haha. Pretty mortifying at the time â but kind of funny now. Still, Iâve only told that story to like, 2 people ever, until now. đ
Oh, I have a good one.
I worked in a jewelry store in college. To step behind the display cases, we entered through a waist-high swinging door. The spring on the door broke and the door would SLAM! each time anyone would enter or exit the sales area. Annoying.
One day I was passing through the door, and I reached behind me to catch the door to prevent it from slamming. Um, I didn’t catch the door. Nor did I “catch” any of my female co-workers or even the male jeweler (whom I was dating). Nope. I was cradling IN. MY. HAND. the – ahem – “jewels” of my 70-something year old boss, the kindly old man who owned the jewelry store.
He was stunned. I was mortified. We scurried apart, and we never mentioned it, ever.
Sorry, Mr. Fontenot!
I have another one: I lived at home while attending college, and had to get ready for work. My mom decided to get pizza for my younger brother and sister and their friends, the next-door neighbors. She called for all the kiddies to pile into the van to get pizza, and off they went.
I got ready to shower, but, darn it, we were out of shampoo. Since I was alone in the house, I decided to make a run for the other bathroom to retrieve another bottle.
I streaked down the hall, then turned to run back – and stopped short. The youngest neighbor kid had apparently not heard my mom calling for the kids, so he was wandering around the house looking for everyone. Well, he found me, naked as a jay bird, clutching a bottle of shampoo. And since he was 9 at the time, he was facing STRAIGHT into my chest. He screamed, I screamed, and I heard his running footsteps retreating down the hall, and the door slamming.
I quickly called his mom and explained what had happened. She said he’d run into his room and locked the door. I don’t know what discussions they eventually had about the incident.
As an epilogue, I did my student teaching in my old elementary school, and guess who was one of my students? Yes, the very same neighbor kid, only he was now 13. I couldn’t ever tell if he was just smiling in class, or smirking…
I forgot to say: Happy Birthday!
Happy BB! Well this is one I posted here http://craftapalooza.typepad.com/crafted/2007/05/creativity.html very embarrassing story about finding chewing gum in my bum…
Happy birthday, love the photos!
I’m struggling to think of something although I’m sure there must have been plenty of embarrassing moments such as getting so drunk at my own NYE party that I was in bed asleep by 11pm and totally missed midnight. My friends didn’t let me forget that for several months. Or going to the funeral of my boyfriends granddad and putting my arm around my boyfriends waist and maybe moving my hand a little lower to discover it was actually a friend of the family when he turned around to look at me. That was in front of the whole family just before leaving for the church. Haven’t lived that one down yet. OK so maybe I have got several embarrassing moments to tell!
oh man, not sure I can beat the snart story. My husband walked in on me when I was putting a tampon in, that was pretty embarrassing…
I watched three movies in a row with my Hubby once, and in the middle of each one asked H who the main character was, commenting that “he looks really familiar, like I should recognize him.” Same actor in all three instances: Tom Cruise…
Once when I was 13 I had a brand new tie-back bikini (my first ever) and wanted to see if I could stand up like they do in the movies (you know, where you flip your hair over your head and give a blank stare that’s supposed to be sexy as you walk up onto shore). Well, I managed the head flip just fine, but as I was working the “stare,” I happened to glance down and notice that my bikini top had come undone and my little “show” deserved a whole new rating. eek!
Gosh, I can’t believe I am telling the world this….Well, when my husband and I were first dating, we were driving around and I wasn’t really sure which way we were going. There was a lot of traffic, and I was flustered, not knowing which way to turn. So what did I do? I hit the button that makes your blinkers blink on either side, which I believed to be the right and left signal for people who weren’t sure which way they were turning. Turns out it was the emergency blinkers, as my now husband likes to remind me each and every time we ride in the car. Oh, and then there was the time that I asked him how in the world they got a real rhinoceros in the movie because dinosaurs are extinct…. I swear, I am NOT a dumb person, I just seem to be unable to put a sock in in when I REALLY REALLY should just stop and think for a minute or two! Happy B-day!
I’m going brain dead trying to think of my most recent embarrassing moments (maybe I’m just blocking them out!). Anyway, I remember having a huge crush on this guy when I was 13 years old. We were talking and I opened my mouth to say something and out came drool. Oh, the horror! lol Not so embarrassing now but I really just wanted to crawl in a hole at the time. I was hoping he didn’t see but he did…and he just laughed. lol
Y’know those embarrassing moments when you congratulate a friend on her pregnancy…and she’s ‘just’ gained a few pounds? Well, my violin tutor was at my house, and due to various things that had happened, I decided she must be pregnant. Nothing had been said by her to make me think this. There she was, tuning her vioin, when I see the unmistakeable ‘bump.’ It would have been bad enough if I had had merely said something, but that clearly wasn’t embarrassing enough. I reached out and PATTED her tummy – we both lept back in horror. WHat made it worse was that I was SO appalled by my inappropriate touching (you know that way, when you’re pregnant all sorts of folk think they have the right to touch….?) that instead of saying why I had done it, I metaphorically got a big digger out, and made that hole a whole load bigger – muttering on about diets, me beeding to be on one – I’m cringing as i type this. We somehow made it through my lesson. I was convinced she thought I had decided to declare some undying passion for her (goodness know what my husband would have thought!) and wondering if she would get out without further ‘incedent.’
In the end I decided I had to tell her the truth – I reckoned that the (now) relatively small embarrassment at telling the truth about the ‘pregnancy’ and appologising for my inappropriate ‘congratulatory pat’ was far less than the bright-red glow of mortification I felt everytime I replayed the scene in my mind…..
India
I love the Idea, but my English skilli’s do not make it happende – maybe this is embarrassing?.
Happy Birthday Heather! đ
You clean up nice đ (From a former supportive elve with the pointy ears, red braids and “evening star” necklace *chuckle* I feel your pain)
Alle Gute zum Geburtstag,
Ina
You know, after reading some of these embarrassing stories, I can’t quite compete, so I’ll just try for the random stack. Here’s hoping!
The embarassing moment (of many) that haunts me to this day is when I was on a job interview years ago (looking for a job as a graphic designer). The interviewer held out my resume and asked why I had broken up a line of text the way I had. Thinking that he was refering to the ragged right-hand edge of the text block, I said that I thought it looked better that way (you don’t want a long line of text followed by a short one, or vice verse — they should all end at a similar length). It wasn’t until I got home that I realized I had split a word right in two with no regard as to whether it was a word that could, or should, be split (no hyphen either). Needless to say, I didn’t get the job and I ALWAYS have someone else proof my resume before I send it out!
Happy birthday! Great stories I don’t know that mine will be that good. I just got a old singer so heres hoping:)
Well when I was about 10 my mom and I lived in a apartment complex that had a swimming pool and our apartment was right by it. Well it was out in cali. and it was a hot summer. I was running around the house in my under wear (only) to cool off. I had been bugging my mom to let me go out and play. I was grounded for something any way, I finally got her to let me go out to play. After hours of bugging her and I was so excited that I walked out side and got all the way down the balcony and half way down the stairs before I heard the noise of ALL my friends in the neighborhood laughing at me. I think that was the fastest I have ever ran. hehe
Lots of great stories here, thanks for the laughs. I never do anything embarrasing ;-)(or I forget it very easilly…)
Just wantet to tell you Happy Birthday anyway.
Happy Birthday Heather! One of my most cringing moments was when I had to give a public presentation about a project I was working on. It was something I always got incredibly nervous about beforehand. On this particular occasion I was so nervous at the number of people who had turned up (about 80 rather than the usual 10 or 20) I started to give the ‘talk’ and after just a minute in I completely froze and nothing came out my mouth. I turned so red in the face and could hear my heart pounding. After 1-2 minutes which seemed like an eternity I eventually blurted something out but I could see how embarrassed everyone was for me. Horrible to even think about now!
Another embarrassing episode involved taking part in a video conference. Everyone at the other end of the video link was seated and ready to start but I arrived a minute late. I rushed into the room to get settled in and promptly tripped over a chair leg and fell very dramatically on the floor with skirt over my head revealing my laddered pantyhose to my boss. To make things worse the people on the other end of the video link were laughing their heads off because they saw the whole thing on the video screen!
I’m with Isaac, my life is just one long series of embarassments. To choose, to choose…
I’m 14, and really unsure of myself. I’m at a party with mostly older teens and young adults, wearing my most pretty dress and trying not to be too uncool. I’m sitting between a table and a wall, feeling an increasing need to go to the bathroom. I try and move past everyone sitting around me without tripping, or standing on their toes, or any other clumsy thing I am prone to. Make it to the bathroom without incident, much to my (literal and metaphorical) relief. Saunter back to my place behind the table, inserting a little (almost certainly not) sexy hip action into my walk. Again, no serious disasters. Phewph. Hear someone whispering loudly nearby “do you think she knows?”
Knows? Knows what? They must be talking about me. If anyone doesn’t know something that should know something, it’ll be me. It is me. On exiting the bathroom, I left the back of my pretty dress tucked into the back of my pantyhose, giving the entire room a front row seat of my voluminous backside. Particularly the people I had to push my butt past at face level in order to get back to my seat.
I have more, so many more, and so much worse, but it is probably best they remain untold. For everybody’s sake.
I was about 19 and was kind of fond of a guy I had seen a couple of times around on student parties. On the Valentines student party I finally pulled myself together and went up to talk to him and confessed I kind of digged him. ‘Too bad’ he said ‘you’re not my type’ I looked kind of overwhelmed then he added: ‘I’m more into boys’I could have sunken into the ground at once ; )
First I’d like to say Happy Birthday and that I love your blog! I’m coming out of the woodwork to share my bit of embarrasment.
One instance of deep embarassment for me was not due to anything that I really did but how other people perceived me. First up, I’ll have to tell you that I’m very petite. I am not only short but really delicately built as well and people often mistake me for 5-10 years younger than I really am.
When I first moved out from my home at the age of 19 I borrowed my dad’s van (a really big car) to transport all my wordly possession to my new home town. I was feeling very grown up and as I was driving along I came to a turning where according to our Finnish traffic laws I was required to stop and let pedestrians cross first.
So I stopped the car and waited patiently for the middle-aged man who was waiting for his turn to cross to notice that I was giving way to him. First he gave me a casual glance and almost took a step forward until he did a double-take and started staring at me. He proceeded to point a finger at me and began to laugh out loud holding his stomach and refusing to cross the street. I was so stunned I couldn’t even react and just stayed there in the car wondering what the hell was wrong with this guy.
Eventually a few other pedestrians came along and the middle-aged man kept pointing at me and howling with laughter. And the other people joined along in the chuckling and also did not cross the street. At this point I was getting so embarassed that I just decided to flee the scene.
I understand that seeing a very small girl driving a big van (I really had to reach out with my hands to grap the wheel) was hilarious to these people but I’ve never felt so embarassed in my life.
My embarassing (as well as extremely humiliating) story is that I got stuck sideways in a bathtub when immensely pregnant. We were living in a temporary military apartment in West Berlin in one of those old pre-war buildings that had telephone booth-sized bathrooms (this was during occupied Berlin whilst the wall was still up in 1977). Anyway, we had this really deep and super narrow bathtub. I was trying to turn around to reach for the soap and got wedged in with my legs and big ol’ baby belly. I couldn’t get any leverage to turn myself, my legs went numb, and it was all just plain scary. I was home alone so I just kept yelling until someone heard me. Someone finally called the Military Police who had to break in the door to get in the apartment. There I was naked and stuck in the tub. I’m absolutely positive those young men saw way more than they wanted to of a very pregnant woman. It was horrible and I’ve been frightened of tight places ever since. I take showers now.
P.S. I’m sorry–I meant to also say a very happy birthday to you!
happy birthday…….to you.
happy birthday…….to you.
happy birthday…….miss heather,
happy birthday…….to yyyyoooooooouuuuuuuuuu!While at a Bill Martin (author) teaching workshop, we were on our potty break. most teachers are women so the women’s restroom needless to say fills rather quickly at these times. Now, I am 7 months preggo and not one who cares for public restyrooms to begin with. We were in a high school bathroom, I had just waited for 3 others in front of me to finish with 6-8 others waiting behind me. I luckily get the handicap stall and proceed to begin to ‘take action’. As i was hovering over the seat, trying to support the added 20-25 lbs of baby weight, my eyes were natrually focused toward the stool. after what seemed mere seconds, as my legs were giving way and beginning to shake,my eyes gradually focus forward to the stall door……..as another lady in line was reaching forward to close it back up. how much did they see???????? how long had it been open????????? i was just trying to take care of business so i didn’t wet my pants during the next lecture. how long was it that i waited in the stall trying to wait until every soul that had just witnessed my humiliation had either entered their own stall or had finished???????? it seemed forever. i giggled my way back to my seat and shared with my friend who had travelled with me. we laughed for years about that one.
Happy Birthday! Hope it was filled with love and laughter.
My most embarrassing moment (that I am willing to share) happened about 8 years ago. I had just met the man who is now my husband. He is a personal trainer by day and a musician by night. We met at a party and there was instant chemistry. We sat in a corner and talked most of the night. He asked for my number and invited me to come see him play that upcoming weekend in a Jazz in the Park concert. I explained that I would be babysitting my niece that weekend, and probably would not make it. He told me it was a family affair and lots of people brought kids.
Of course I could not resist the opportunity to see him again. So, that Saturday morning, I dressed my little 2 1/2 year old niece and packed a picnic. We got there early and found a spot right up front. My niece seemed to enjoy the first few bands. They all had vocalist and played upbeat songs. She danced around clapping her hands and having a grand old time. The people sitting close to us thought she was so cute. I look up and its time for my crush to come on. He was doing a solo, acoustic guitar set. His first song was a romantic ballad and I swear he was looking at me the whole time….SWOON!
Apparently my niece was not impressed though. Right in the middle of the song, in an incredibly loud 2 1/2 year old way she decided to let out her inner music critic. “This songs suck”! Those were her exact words. It was perfectly timed too, during a quiet part of the song. I could tell he had heard her. In fact after the song he said “you can’t please everyone, I guess”.
Needless to say I was mortified and tried to quickly pack my things up and get out of there. I figured I would never hear from him again.
But three weeks later he called and asked me out. He brought along a CD of kids songs he had recorded for my niece. I thought it was so sweet and so courageous after she had given such a poor review for his live performance. I decided then and there to keep him!
Happy Birthday!
What a wonderful way to celebrate!!
I had a couple of embarrasing moments on the same holiday – we went to a holiday village age 17 – one of these places with water park. My first was coming down the shute and my swimming costume ripped on the seat – so good friends walked behind me to the nearest pool, until as towel was fetched. Then – unfortunately i had a spare costume and ventured out for the rapids slide – I got to the bottom and realised the halter neck had come undone… mortified twice in a many days!!
I have a few, but this is my most embarrassing one…when I was 10, my mom brought my siblings and i, along with some friends and another mother, to a water park. my friend was a bit smaller than i was but at the time, i don’t think that really sunk in for me. anyway, we were out and about exploring the park on our own, but within my mom’s sight. my friend got the bright idea to sit in a baby swing–you know the ones with the leg holes cut out for small kids who can sit but aren’t yet ready for a swing without legs. i wanted to do what she did, and so i got on the baby swing next to her and we did some swinging. then, she got out of her swing. and i was stuck. my legs would not budge from the baby swing. my friend got the other mom, who got a lifeguard. they wiggled, twisted, and turned but the swing did not budge. they even tried to lube me up with sunscreen and even that didn’t work. meanwhile, the other mom got my mom. at this point, i’m horrified and mortified at my own stupidity and could use some support. my mom comes over, asks me if i’m ok–i lie and say yes, and she proceeds to laugh like crazy and then start taking pictures!! in the meantime, the fire department had to be called and they ended up SAWING ME OUT of the baby swing. horrifying, completely horrifying. people were talking about it all day (“did you hear about the girl that got stuck in the baby swing? they had to saw her out. what was she thinking???”). oh yeah. and my mom has pictures to prove it and even gets them out, 21 years later, to have a laugh about it.
i have lots of embarrassing stories to tell, i got wedged in a chair at work (i had my legs curled up under me during a design meeting, and my foot slipped through the arm rest), and had to be rescued, the other girls in the design studio thought it was hilarious and wanted to just wheel the chair into the corridor and leave me there, thanks guys!.
the worst would have to be, after having my daughter, (she’s now 5), i went back to work when she was 6 months old. she was not a good sleeper and i was very tired but a couple of days before i was due back, my husband sent me off shopping for some new work clothes. i tried some stuff on in the changing room cubicle, decided what i wanted to buy, so strolled out back into the shop. only to realise, that i had actually forgotton to put my skirt back on, so was now stood with an arm full of clothes, in the waiting area (which was full of husbands/partners/boyfriends of all the other people trying stuff on), in just my knickers. so embarrassing, as they were pretty awful knickers too, you know when after child birth, you go for comfort over style, those kind of knickers!.
happy birthday!
Feliz Cumpleanos, Heather!!
My most embarrasing moment has got to be my most shameful moment. It happened 5 years ago. It’s really, REALLY bad.
My most embarrasing moment was……. when my hubby found out about my drunken fumble with the painter!
Oh the shame! I’m not proud of it, it was a long time ago, I was very very drunk and even now I cringe when it comes up in conversation! Brrrrr, yeuck. My skin crawls just thinking about it.
Can I have my fat quarter now please? Lol. x
thank you for having a birthday contest and making people write these stories. i’ve read them all, and they are so funny. I vote for kima’s story because it is so cute! đ
happy birthday Heather!
Happy birthday, Heather!
oh dear I can hardly write as I’ve been laughing so hard!
I can laugh about this now…no farts involved….I was going out with my now husband and he lived in paris…I’d never met anyone in his family but his sister was coming to paris for a holiday…the night before she arrived I was eating dinner and my false front tooth on the top broke clear off..I cried as I looked like a witch with no front tooth..it was a public holiday..no dentists and none I knew in paris…I had to meet her and talk to her the whole day and night with my hand over my mouth or not talking as I was so embarrassed she’d think her brother was dating a witch…..
second most embarrassing was at school…I was pretty average at school always scoring in the 70’s for things…but there was a girl who was school captain, dux, got a final leaving score of 99.9….I went to see the careers advisor in my final year to talk about universities, courses, careers….school captain girl was after me….so he tells me well you can take your pick, your top of every class, what do you want to do because scores are not a problem for you…..so I blush and say are you sure? My name is corrie….oh Corrie sorry I was confusing you with Danielle…well you’re a totally different story!!!!!!!!! thanks! of all the people to be confused with!
I have quite a lot of embarassing stories, but this is one my girlfriends will never let me live down.
It happened years ago when I was younger, hipper, thinner and able to pull off a pair of tight jeans. You know the kind that need peeling on and peeling off and are much trickier to zip up than a bag full of kittens. I went shopping with my best girlfriend in search of the perfect pair of said tight jeans, which were the height of fashion at the time despite the fact that they are completely impractical and rather uncomfortable. Anyhoo, I was unfortunately wearing a rather small pair of underwear with elastic that had been through the drier too many times and had decided that very day to completely give up on me. But as any young shopping girl will do I battled on in pursuit of those jeans.
We were in a rather fancy little boutique where I was trying on pair after pair of jeans and tossing the discards over the change room door for the sales girl to whisk away and fold back up neatly and return to the shelves. When in a snap flash moment of horror I realised I was knickerless and whispered to my girlfriend to urgently retrieve the last batch of discarded jeans in search of my wayward elastic-less underwear.
I was hissing at her to go and find them with my head peeping around the door and she was laughing hysterically! Then to my complete mortification the salesgirl strode across the store with her arm out stretched and my poor little knickers dangling from the end of a pen.
I have never gotten dressed so quick in my life and I hot tailed it out of there with my friend following me in a giggling heap.
No wonder to this day I am still traumatised at the mere thought of shopping for jeans, but at least these days I do it in my secure girdle tight granny knickers. Or come to think of it, I would rather sew myself up a skirt.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!!!!!!!!!!
Oh and a big happy birthday too!
Happy birthday Heather!
Another underwear story-
middle school, running from the school to the bus…….. the elasic on my underwear gives out and they are around my ankles. It was the longest year of school ever.
Happy Birthday Heather, how lovely of you to give away the presents!
My embarassing moment is not unique, but embarassing just the same. As I dived into the pool for the school swiming carnival, I discovered that the new bathers that my mother had made were not very well designed. The top fell down exposing my still maturing breasts to the whole school. Luckily for me (in this case anyway) I attended a girls only school.
First and most important; HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!
I have two stories that still make me cringe. When I was a senior in high school I snagged a date with a college man!!! He played on the university’s basketball team and we went on 1 date. I think we both realized it wasn’t meant to be. However, one Saturday night a friend and I went to a game and I decided to go say hello to him before the game. We had a very awkward conversation and I turned to walk away and stepped off the bleachers into the water bucket!!! I stepped out and kept walking and never looked back!
My next story occurred when my first son was 3. We were visiting relatives. It was Sunday and everyone was off to church; something we had been quite lax in. But we got dressed up in our finery and off we went. All was well until communion when the bells on the altar were rung. My son stood up on the pew and yelled “The ice cream man, the ice cream man!” I could have melted into the floor! There was much giggling but I was mortified. My aunt stopped at the store and bought ice cream bars on the way home so my son wouldn’t be disappointed!
Wow, you have lots of great stories already. Don’t you all ever sleep?? đ
Here is my story:
I get really sick when I am pregnant, and spend lots of time bringing back up whatever went down. By 5 months I am usually okay for longer periods of time.
While pregnant with baby #3, I decided, at about 5 months along, that it was time for me to start doing the grocery shopping again, so I took the boys with me and we started doing our shopping.
For some reason we had tons to get, and by the time I got to the produce section my cart was FULL, and we had been there for a while. I started feeling really sick, and thought I could hold off, but all of a sudden I knew I was going to be sick. I grabbed an empty produce bag and hurried my kids over to the natural foods section, which was a little darker and deserted (hey, its Indiana… people aren’t that healthy!) I made it over to the section just in time, and threw up into the bag, but the force of the throw up caused me to pee my pants also! And not just a little bit. So now I am standing there with a little puddle at my feet, a lot of liquid making my light grey pants really dark (I had on a woven fabric, which got really dark when wet!), a bag of vomit, and a cart full of groceries. I really didn’t know what to do, so I tried to get my oldest son, who was almost 4, to run over to the meat department and get me a paper towel. He managed that, so I cleaned up the floor as best I could. Then, since I needed the groceries, I had to go stand in line to pay. Yes, there was a bit of a wait. I had a small messanger bag as my purse, so I tried to angle that behind me, and also had my oldest son walk behind me so hopefully no one would notice. Boy #2 was stationed in the cart. We finally made it out of there, and let me tell you, it was embarrasing! I never did go back to that grocery store!
I hope your birthday is full of mirth, with all these great stories! Happy Birthday!
Happy birthday!
I have had a lot of embarrassing moments during my life. That is just part of being me. I was born clumsy and will always be clumsy. But as I have grown older I don’t really get as embarrassed as I used to.
But there is one thing that can not slip my mind when it comes to embarrassing moments, and that was when I sent a wedding greeting card to a wedding that was canceled. They where someone I used to hang out with in Collage. We moved to different towns and had contact now and then by phone and e-mails. But we sort of did not keep much contact the last 6-10 months before the wedding. But I knew the wedding-date, and in the last moment sent a greeting card to the bride. A while later I had some contact by e-mail with the “broom”. And then he told me that the wedding had been canceled, and that they broke up. Oh, gosh did I feel embarrassed! I was and still am glad I never had to face them. And if I do I most certainly will not bring up the subject!
When my husband and I were first married, we lived in a teeny one bedroom apartment. His brother, who was in college and in-between apartments for a week, was sleeping on our couch.
One lazy morning I was taking a long and refreshing shower when the phone began to ring. And ring and ring. I decided to take the two and half steps from our bathroom to the living room and answer the phone. . . with only soapy bubbles for coverage.
I said hello and started a small coversation, then I casually turned around and faced the living room. There was my brother in law, sitting straight up and staring and me! I froze. I couldn’t move. And worst of all, I didn’t have my contacts in, so I couldn’t even see his facial expression!
I dropped the phone and ran back into the shower. By the time I came out, the brother-in-law had left for the day (without a shower).
Happy Birthday Heather!
Happy Birthday!!! Iâve been lurking around for a while now and just had to say something for the chance to win some lovely fabric.
A couple years ago I worked as a check in clerk at a ferry company and over the years both I and my colleagues had many humiliating experiences.
When receiving the ticket from the customer the first thing to do was to read through the ticket information. Me reading aloud: âThatâs one car and two passengers to destination x, correct?â Continuing: âOr should I say two and a half?!?â smiling and looking at the womanâs mid-section. The couple in the car looked confused and stared back at me not saying a word. I was just going to ask when the baby was due when realizing the situation⌠While I was printing the tickets I made sure not to look up and then red faced wished the couple a pleasant journey.
well i don’t think i can top these! wow! but, when i was a junior in high school it was cool to give blood at the blood drive. well you had to weigh 110 pounds. so i was just under the limit and i lied and gave blood. well i felt fine through lunch and in 7th period i was sitting in the back of the classroom with my head propped up on the back wall try my very best NOT to pass out. this teacher of mine was a big man, very imposing and seriously intimidating. he would humiliate anyone who fell asleep in his class. so i am trying so hard to not sleep and feeling seriously light headed and getting that hot/cold tingly/sweaty feeling. next thing i know i am lying on the floor my desk flung out of the way and my teacher standing right over me. all the students have formed a circle looking down at me lying on the floor. my teacher says, “what is today’s date?” (i never know the date) well i sat up and thought i felt ok until i straight up drive heaved like 10 times right there in front of my entire class and my horribly intimidating teacher. they sent me to the nurse and i went home. well the next day kids were making fun of me and acting like they were throwing up everytime they saw me. the end.
Happy Birthday Heather!
I have a positive mine full of comedy gold when it comes to embarrassing stories, but this is my favourite. When I was 17 I was in a play at our local community theatre. The story was actually a play within a play about bunch of bumbling community theatre actors (so it wasn’t much of a character stretch). The main character was supposed to be stricken down with laryngitis during her final song, so my character was supposed to jump into her part and finish the play. The song was performed in an Elizabethan costume and being a poor community theatre we could only afford to make one outfit. So we rigged up the dress with velcro so that it could be quickly ripped off the other actress and put on me. As I stepped towards centre stage on the night of our preview (to a packed house I might add) my “lady-in-waiting” stepped on the edge of the skirt and it ripped clean off the bodice. To make matters worse I was wearing a particularly lurid pair of flowered underpants. So there I was singing in floral underpants with the top half of an Elizaethan dress on. Luckily, the play was a farce so everyone except the actors thought it was part of the play – even the director. Afterwards the director scolded us for not telling her about our added bit of comedy genius. She even asked where we had found that “hideous” pair of underwear. I don’t know who was more embarrassed, the director or me, when I told her the moment was not planned and that the underwear was actually my own.
Hmm…Here’s the first one that popped into my head: My 3 girls, a friend and I were going to meet her husband at his office, then go to lunch. He works for a company that provides security systems. I had never been there before. The front of the building is all dark and secretive looking. We parked the car, everyone jumped out and went into the office. I was the last one, locking up the car, etc. since I drove. I headed to the office door and tripped over the step. Fell on my hands and knees. I popped straight up, looked around to see if anyone had seen, and spotted no one. I brushed myself off. And trying to act normal, I headed to the office door. Walked in, EVERYONE, my girls, my friends, and about 30 employees were standing there laughing. They had all seen me fall and my reaction of trying to act like it never happened. The front of the building was made of tinted one-way windows. Oh yeah…they also have security cameras recording the comings and goings of people, so lucky me, it was all recorded.
Happy Birthday Heather!
Happy Birthday Heather! We share the same birthday month – my birthday is August 16th.
I’m sitting here at the computer drinking my morning joe and I just told my husband that I was trying to think of an embarassing moment in my life. He reminded me of one that I had when he and I were dating. We lived only a couple of blocks from each other, so I spent most of my nights and weekends at his house. So, one weekend I was at his house doing our weekend ritual- he was downstairs watching Sunday football, and I was upstairs watching one of my Lifetime movies. Anyhow, nature called me and I had to go to the bathroom. I flushed the toilet, but “it” didn’t go down. I was horrified, I mean when you’re dating someone you never fart or poop, right? I couldn’t find a plunger anywhere in his house. He was busy watching his football games, so I thought I would be able to sneak out of the house to go and get a plunger at mine. This plan was working, but when I snuck back into his house and headed upstairs, he saw my reflection through a mirror (me creeping up the steps with a plunger in tow) He immediately started teasing me and chasing me up the steps. I was able to beat him to the bathroom and lock myself in there until I unclogged the toilet. 10 years later, my husband still laughs his head off at this story, especially when he shares it with others! Cheers!
Happy Birthday!
Well my most embarrasing tale goes back to middle school and I am still blushing thinking about it. I used to play the cello – pretty badly but I was in the school orchestra. Anyway, we had a special assembly and the orchestra was all set up on the stage in front of the WHOLE school. The girl who played the double bass was off sick so they asked me to step in, trouble was, I was a complete short-arse and needed to stand on a stool. Well, the stool was wobbly and not only did I fall off (as the headmaster was in the middle of his speech) I managed to wipe out half the orchestra too. The whole school erupted with laughter and I blushed for at least a month!
Happy Birthday! I’m not easily embarrassed and I tend to block out the times i did get embarrassed. Trying for a random! Happy Birthday!
I can’t really think of an embarassing moment but we share the same birthday! Hooray for being born on August 12th!
Okay, this one is pretty darn tame- but it’s the one with the power to still make me quesy years later. I had a boss-from-hell once. Dumb, rude, full of himself. Not sao hot at his job- always behind, which made me always behind and stressed. I swear, he cut his hair with a Flovie (sp?) anyway! after one truly icky day, I sent, on the work email system, and email to my work bud bitching about him, with details.
Do you know where this is going?
I sent it to HIM by accident. And got called into his office. And, to get out of trouble, I burst into tears and sobbed out some fake story of girly woes. Which, frankly, was just as embarrassing as sending the email in the first place…
Moral of the story: NEVER ever send the email you wouldn’t want the whole office to read.
Happy Birthday Heather !
Embarassing moments ! I have many ! You can imagine the accent of a Brazilian speaking English ! Words like thesis and focus … can be really dangerous ! This is very long history !
Just want to send you cheers !!!
Mariana
http://www.flickr.com/photos/flores-na-janela
Happy Birhday! I’m like you with nothing more embarrassing then calling someone the wrong name. So I just hope you enjoy your birthday!
happy birthday!!
it was my first time filling gas, and I was pretty nervous about it, for whatever reason, so I decided to take a friend from work with me, you know – for moral support! she walks me through the process and then my credit card did not work at the pump, so I had to go inside. as I walked off to pay, I unknowingly started towards the car wash at the far end of the station. as I was half way there, I heard someone screaming my name – looked back and there was my friend pointing to the big building directly behind my car! (queue the “hallelujah, hallelujah” music) needless to say, the entire gas station was now aware of my stupidity and did even attempt to hide their snickering! nevermind the fact that my friend could not stop laughing, and also told the entire office!
Wow, that fabric is so neat, I’m wishing I had a more embarrassing moment! đ I guess I’m like you, because I have a really hard time thinking of anything embarrassing…I must just block it out or something…
Anyway, something that wasn’t embarrassing at the time, though it probably should have been! I think I was about 7-9, not quite sure, but I was at a friend’s house and she wanted to go swimming in her kiddie pool. Well, I didn’t have a bathing suit, so I started out with a sleeveless top and pair of shorts…well, that was getting really heavy to swim in, so when my mom came back to pick me up, she found my friend and I swimming around in the pool with just our underwear on. I think she managed to conceal her horror, because my friend’s mom hadn’t minded at all!
Happy Birthday!
P.S. You were a really cute elf! đ
Happy Birthday Heather! I love the photos! đ
One of my most embarrassing stories is from high school. I was walking down the hall in my traditional 80s mini and off the shoulder top. As the bell rang and classes let out (hence 100s of kids in the hall) I felt a pop around my waistband and my panties hit the floor. Since I gasped EVERYONE turned to look at me. People from high school STILL mention it and it was 18 years ago!!!
Hope you have a great day reading all these stories!
Happy Birthday Heather! I’m sure you’ve enjoyed reading everyone’s stories, I know I have! Thanks ladies!
I don’t think even my worst story could top some of these!! I came on just to have a look (as this blog was pointed out to me, I now must add it to my list!) never intended to share my story, but now I feel like I must đ
Probably the most mortifying story I could think of was in year 10. It was our inter-school swimming carnival. I was/am quite a large breasted girl (DD at the time) I dived into the pool and was unaware that my breasts had fallen out the top of my swimmers (I’m not the most talented swimmer!)… So I do my lap, get to the end of the pool, climb up the ladder and flashed my ladies to the whole stand of school kids (probably 200-300)… I never lived it down, I also never got called tissue tits again!!!
Happy Birthday to you! I’m commenting just for the chance of the random win as there’s no way I can top any of these stories!
I was walking around our neighborhood block one afternoon, and I happened to have on a straight skirt. I guess the action of walking and swishing caused my half slip to keep working its way down, and before I even knew what was happening I was tripping over a blob of white down around my feet. What in the world?!! Then I realized it was my slip on the pavement! I stepped out of it, balled it up as small as I could, and retraced my steps back home. I never knew if any of the neighbors saw me or not, but it was v-e-r-y embarrassing!
Wow. I’ve got a couple of embarrassing stories, but NONE that can compete with most of these. I’ll just keep my fingers crossed and hope for a random! Happy birthday from one Leo to another!!
i have so many embarrassing moments!
one that always makes me laugh is the time i was dorothy in a production of the wizard of oz. i was halfway through “somewhere over the rainbow” when unexpectedly, out came the hugest burp…amplified by the microphone i was holding! i was mortified and still had to get through the rest of the song and the entire show. the ruby slippers weren’t the only red i had on that night!!!
happy happy birthday, heather!
and what a great idea, it was fun to reading the entires.
Happy Birthday!
Like you, I usually have a hard time thinking of an embarrassing moment, but it just so happens that last week, as I was walking back into work after lunch, the wind caught my skirt, exposing pretty much everything under it right in front of four male coworkers. Yeah, that was pretty embarrassing.
Happy Birthday!!
I began Jr. High in the early 90’s. Fall of 1990 to be exact. I had this awesome knee length black sweater and black shiny leather mary janes. I just didn’t have the right pants. So I borrowed my friends hot pink/turquoise spandex leggings. She never wore them ( I wonder why). My 13 old mind thought they’d look so perfect with my black sweater and shoes. It looked like something splashed very bright neon paint on my legs. So I trotted off to school thinking I was the coolest girl in the 7th grade. To top it off I had bright pink socks. I would be so envied! WRONG. I walked into class and immediately received some odd looks and a few laughs. Pretty much the whole day I was stared at. It was that day I realized maybe I shouldn’t trust my fashion sense. Maybe I should ask for a little help. As I look back on it now that was the day the 80’s ended for me. I would have to began my journey with flannel and looser fitting pants.
Thanks for letting me share!
Sara
My most embarrassing moment occurred in London at the ripe old age of 19.
I was due to start a new job in a pub and was on my way from the hostel with my fully laden backpack on my back when I ran into a friend. We ended up having a couple of drinks together with some other friends before I was back on my way.
I didn’t realise that I’d had a few too many drinks and not enough food. I eventually made it on the tube and lord knows how I remembered where to go but I ended up walking in the main door of the pub where I was to start work the next day and at the top of my merry voice announced “Hi honey, I’m home” to a very full pub.
That isn’t the worst part. I then started to feel the weight of my backpack defy me and the next thing I know I’m like a turtle on its back in the middle of the floor unable to get up. There was an instant hush to the pub and I was surrounded by some very surprised and amused patrons. One of the bartenders had to come and help me up which wasn’t easy with around 30kgs strapped to my back and whisked me away to the rooms upstairs where I recovered until the next morning.
The manager took me aside and I had to sit through a lecture, feeling very very embarrassed about the whole thing, naturally, and I’m sure he was well aware that I was about to serve my pennance and be even more mortified by working behind the bar serving all those witnesses and being reminded many many times of what happened for the next few months.
Happy Birthday! My most embarrassing moments always center around things that the rest of the world knows and I do not. The story that has had the most mileage around my house is the one I just posted on my blog last week: http://www.polkadotcreations.com/blog/?p=78
In a nutshell, I only discovered sometime in my late twenties, that Alaska is not an island…
Lisa
happy birthday, heather! what a fun way to celebrate your birthday!
okay, my most embarrassing moment was mortifying at the time. my husband and i had moved into a basement apartment that we thought was heavenly at the time, but shortly realized was infested with hobo spiders(poisonous)…so we talked to the landlords, and they had a company come out and spray. well, the man who came out to spray told us if we had any more problems in a week, to give his company a call, and they would come back out. a week later, we still had just as many spiders, so i called the company..it was about 11a.m., and a woman picked up the phone and in a very sexy, whispery slowly drawn out type of voice said, “spider spray, how can i help you?” I was taken back and wondered if i had called the right place and before i could say anything, she asked me to hold, so i said of course. my husband was sitting there and saw my face, and asked what had happened..SO THINKING I WAS ON HOLD..i said..oh my gosh, she answered the phone like..and proceeded to do the same voice “spider spray…”. all of a sudden she snapped at me, (I really wasn’t on hold!) “How could you make fun of me, you are such a *!@!%!” I tried to apologize, but couldn’t over her screaming and yelling at me and she finally just hung up on me. Talk about embarrassing..my husband said he had never seen me melt into the ground like i did at that moment..a good lesson learned though! đ
anyways…have the happiest birthday ever!
Happy Birthday, Heather! Clever costumes, BTW.
The stories are great and I can’t really compete. One story that comes to mind is when I was hugely pregnant at work. I never sit on toilet seats, rather using the squat method. However, this time I couldn’t see where I was going and ended up going all over the floor in a rather large quantity. Unfortunately, there were other people in the stalls next to mine one of which was the department’s biggest gossip. I quietly cleaned up the floor and waited it out until everyone left hoping to not get busted.
To make matters worse, I had also peed down the back of my pants during my bad aim excursion and had to make up an excuse to leave work early and swiftly.
I hope you have a great birthday celebration!
I’m like you and have no really embarrassing stories…. reading through some of these other girls stories are making me blush though… I could never compete.
I guess my most recent somewhat-embarrassing story had to be when I was at a meeting with a bunch my peer crafters and we were all showing our products and then passing them around the table. Well I notice this one girl was looking at one of my wallets for quite a bit and kind looked confused. After the meeting I checked it out for myself only to realize that I had sewed the large opening closed by only a couple stitches so where it was supposed to open to put your money in opened partly… but it was clearly a bad mistake. I was super embarrassed because I knew that everyone had probably noticed my mistake. My boyfriend tries to tell me it’s nothing… but it was and still is quite embarrassing to me.
Lame I know… but I guess my work is so important and I didn’t want my peers to think less of me… I worry about stupid things too much.
Anyways I hope you have a super wonderful Birthday.
Jennalou
My most embarassing moment came on a date at the Seattle Aquarium, in an exhibit that featured a marsh environment with a bridge and wooden railings over a pond. I set my clutch purse on the wooden railing, and when we went to leave, grabbed my purse by the bottom, dumping all the contents into the pond. The aquarium staff had to come out with a big net to retrieve my stuff. One father was pointing out a creature that his son couldn’t see, and his dad said “It’s right over there, next to her checkbook!” Fun times….
Happy Birthday! Hope you have a fabulous day!
Well, my here’s my story: when my twins were about 6 weeks old, some friends offered to babysit while my husband & went out to dinner. We were sitting outside a cute bistro and the waiter had just opened a bottle of red wine, but hadn’t poured yet. A few moments later, while I was reading the menu, I reached over to get my water glass, but instead picked up the wine bottle, brought it to my lips and took a big ole swig *straight* from the bottle.
I was totally spacing, but realized what I had done while drinking (duh…thinking, this doesn’t *feel* like a water glass). I looked up to see my husbands’ horrified look, as well as those of the other guests sitting around me.
That was a long dinner…
OK, here is my most embarrassing story this year…My sister got married in April and we made an appointmnet the day of the wedding to get our hair done. She had the first appointment, which left me to read magazines for a while in the lobby until I was called for my hair appointment. So as I am sitting there, I come up with a great idea- get my eyebrows waxed while I am waiting! Sounds like a great idea, right?
I go in to get my eyebrows waxed, calm, relaxed and the first strip is taken off, the the second one…then I hear an “oh no” followed by a long silence. When I ask what the matter is, he says “Do you use Retin-A?” Well, I had been on it for some skin related issues, another embarrassing story, and didn’t think anything of it because I obviously wasn’t using it on my eyes- duh! So he showed my in the mirror that my eyebrow area was all puffy and red where he had ripped off the wax. I didn’t think anything of it, since I always get red and puffy like that. So he continued on, finished up and I went out to get my hair done.
As I am walking past my sister, she gives does a double take. When she is done, she runs over to me and gasps and says “What happened? It looks like you had you skin ripped off!” And at that point, I am freaking out inside, but try to keep calm and reassure her that her wedding isn’t until noon and the swelling will go down by then.
Anyway, so we get to the wedding site and by then I have scabs on the top and bottom on my eyebrows which span the entire length of the eyebrow and they are puffy and dark red.
Needless to say, I had to use so much makeup on my eyes that I ended up resembling a clown. No one said anything, but I can tell they were noticing from all the stares I got.
Thank goodness the wedding pictures were not closeups!
When I was a junior in high school, I went out for dinner with my mother and grandfather at a local chinese restaurant. We had just walked in the door and asked for a table when I felt this horrible pain in my boob and realized there was a BEE in my BRA that had just stung me. I whipped off my shirt in about a nanosecond, screaming and flapping my arms in front of the slightly confused hostess. My mother, never one to suffer public nudity without action, grabbed me by the arm and dragged me into the ladies room about two seconds before I got the bra off. And the bee dropped to the ground, no doubt more scared than I was, at which point my mother stomped on it, handed me back my clothes, waited while I put them on, and then proceeded back to the hostess and asked for a table by the window. So I had to walk through the whole restaurant as if I hadn’t just had a screaming naked fit in front of everyone. I wanted to go somewhere else. anywhere. mcdonald’s, even. no dice. I guess my grandpa really wanted his beef with broccoli.
As for how this happened, I can only guess it crawled in my shirt somewhere in the parking lot? It is a mystery to this day.
Happy Birthday. I love the fabric!! Most embarrassing ‘recent’ moment would be standing in line at Target w/Charlie 5 and Lorelai 4 and my shoe made a noise on the floor that sounded like someone passing gas. Needless to say Charlie and Lorelai hear everything, they look at me w/these funny faces and when I tell them it’s not what they thought they both say, as loud as possible, “Mom, did you toot? You stink!”
I would have loved to have craweled under the cart right then and there.
Good luck choosing..there are some great moments on here! Wendy
Happy Happy Birthday Heather! After reading the other comments I am not even going to try to top them!
HAPPY BIRTHDAY HEATHER!
My story begins in 1996. I had just met this great guy and he asks me to dinner, to Commander’s Palace, a really fancy restaurant in New Orleans. Back when I was 20, I was a major thrift shopper and didn’t have anything to wear so I went to an actual mall to purchase a new dress and shoes. I was looking really stylin. Well, it starts raining… My date picks me up and gives me flowers and we proceed to the restaurant. He opens my door when we arrive, I step out of the car, start to walk across the street and SLLLLLLLLLLLLIP! The new shoes have that flat slippery bottom… I didn’t buy those little no slip pads to put on them, so anyway, you’d think that is embarassing enough on a date (3rd date I believe), but it gets better. Our reservation was on the second floor (do you see where I am heading yet?) and the stairs were carpeted. Guess what, SLLLLLLLLLLLLLLIP again. Of course he was right there to catch me so I didn’t go tumbling down the stairs in my pretty dress. We finish out meal (with plenty wine – you could drink at 18 in New Orleans back in the day) and I walk gingerly out of the restaurant take those dang shoes off and threw them away. I haven’t slipped since and we are still together today. đ
I have a tendency to send e-mails to the wrong people. You can imagine what type of trouble that has gotten me into. I make sure now to check the address, and double check, before I hit the “send” button.
Happy Birthday!
happy birthday to you! It was mine yesterday too and, as such, I must choose not to embarrass myself đ
happy birthday!
never had an embarrassing moment in my life. denial? party of two? đ
I’m like your husband–every day I am embarrassed. Though your hair story made me think back to my hair story. I was a nanny for a family the summer before my senior year of HS and we spent the entire summer up at their lake cottage. I had my own apartment over their garage. One day I was in a big hurry to go somewhere and forgot to clean up my hair out of the shower. (Explanation: So I have really thick curly hair and when I shower I get GOBS of it that falls out–you would think I was a chemo patient. Well I have clogged a lot of drains in my days so what I usually do is stick it on the wall and then as soon as I get out I throw it away.) For some reason that day I shed WAY MORE than any other and it was ALL OVER. So later that night the nephews of the people I am nannying for, whom I happened to have a VERY BIG crush on, invited me to go swimming in the lake. So we go and by the time we get back it is super late and they need to rinse off their sandy feet and get back home ASAP. They go up to rinse them in my shower and see the shower wall covered in hair and were so grossed out they went home with sandy feet. I WAS MORTIFIED! I never lived that down and to this day I get super embarrassed about how much I shed.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY!
Happy birthday, Heather!
My story: I am a Midwesterner who loves the ocean but rarely sees it. For a season in high school I had a boyfriend from New Jersey (long and slightly retarded story) who once took me swimming at the beach. I had never really got to swim in water with actual waves, so aforementioned boy was teaching me how to stand with my back to the waves, jump at just the right time, and let them push you toward the shore. Well, I must have jumped half a second too late, because somehow I ended up directly UNDER the wave, which pummeled me so hard into the water that I completely lost all sense of direction. Once I managed to stand up, I had a mouth full of sand, all my hair was in my face, and….you guessed it, my swimming suit top was around my waist. My boyfriend was on the beach staring at me with a bewildered look.
Thank you, Heather, for you beautiful designs. They’re inspiring. I’m planning on making quilts for my daughters out of your line. (Yes, I’m sucking up for a piece of cake đ
Happy Birthday Heather! That fabric cake slice looks like just my kind of version these days (I’ve been on South Beach all summer).
As for my most embarrassing story, there are many, but let’s just say that the next time I have to pee in a cup for my yearly physical, I will not have my 5 year old son isn’t in the room with me!
I think the poor girl with the bee sting story should take the cake…
but I would love some of your beautiful fab…so…I was named bubbles in high schoool because once at dinner with a bunch of people I laughed really hard while I was a little sick and a giant “snot” (is there a ladylike way to put it???) bubble just sat there out of one of my nostrils. I never lived that one down….poeple used to give me bottles of bubbles thinking they were so clever..
anyways…happy birthday!
Happy Birthday, Heather! How creative you are with the costumes.
It’s funny reading all the embarassing stories. :0)
These aren’t embarrassing-moment chart toppers, but they were for me moments of wanting to slip under the ground.
1) This was either a dream (nightmare) or reality, not sure which, but I tend to think nightmare: when I was growing up, my family & I went to church camp every summer. There was a large pool there & it was quite the spot to be. During one of my very early years, I recall (or dreampt) going to the pool, then once I was in the water discovered that I had put on the bikini top ok but had forgotten to change from my panties to the bikini bottoms!
2) In my late teen years, I was visiting some friends in England. We planned to go to a rock concert of my friends favorite band. I borrowed a rather large t-shirt from my friend. When we arrived at the venue & were getting out of the car, I announced to my friends that I felt like a bum in such a large, ill-fitting shirt. They just looked at me. In the UK (at least then, I assume it still does), “bum” referred to one’s bottom…derriere.
My son, who is 7, has a P.E. coach named “Coach Brown”. Last year, in the middle of class, he declared very loudly that “Coach Brown comes over and swims naked in our hot tub.” I don’t even WANT to know the conversation that took place in the teacher’s lounge that afternoon because:
1. Coach Brown is MARRIED
2. We don’t have a hot tub
3. Coach Brown has certainly never, EVER come over
Happy, happy, happy birthday!! I have too many embarrassing stories to pick from, but after reading everyone else’s stories, I’m glad I’m not alone:)
I don’t know if I can top that bee-in-the-bra story but there’s fabric at stake here so I’m going to try…
I have two… the first one is short and completely my fault. In my third year of work at Professional Job, Inc where I’m desperately trying to make an impression and move up in the world I yawn during a long but well-attended meeting and my gum falls out of my mouth and lands on the conference room table.
The second is longer and more horrifying… when I was in college I spent a year studying abroad in Germany. I was the only American kid with a whole group of European exchange kids in the same program. I made a friend of a French girl in the program and we went to see Four Weddings and a Funeral together one afternoon in a local theater. We sat down in the rather full “vintage” theater in the middle of a row and watched the movie. About half way through I noticed a kind of rhythmic squishing sound and looked around. (I can’t believe I’m writing this, I will keep it somewhat vague because this is a “family” blog…) I noticed some of the bright movie screen was reflected in the lap of the man sitting next to me. It took about 2 or 3 minutes for me to figure out what was going on, and I was HORRIFIED. I had to either move past him to get out or tell my new friend what was going on. Not knowing the words to describe the situation in German or French and not wanting to get ANY closer to him, I sat rigid through the rest of the film, leaning toward my friend. I did not touch ANYTHING in that theater on the way out, and stayed far away from the man walking out with a trench coat folded over his arm and held in front of him. I never did find out of that French girl knew what happened.
Happy Birthday Heather! I hope you got more of a laugh than a cringe hearing the beginning of the end of my innocent self.
I, like you, don’t embarrass particularly easily. However, when I do become embarrassed, the feeling sticks with me, assumedly forever. Case in point, when I was five-ish, my dad and a few of my male relatives were sitting around — at some holiday get together — hashing out old stories. The kind that start with, “Have you ever…” I was playing on a barstool, swiveling about to my hearts content, listening with half an ear to the stories they were telling.
After awhile, there was a lull in the conversation and I looked at them in all seriousness and asked, “Have you ever got your foot stuck in a chair?” Obviously, they looked back as though I were nuts. My dad, a grin already turning up the corners of his mouth, replied, “No. Why do you ask?”
To which I stated, “Because I can’t figure out how to get mine out.” My foot had slid between the rungs on the back of the barstool while I was playing and was now beyond my control to retrieve! My dad, and everyone else within earshot, gaffawed louder than I have ever heard, before or since. Trapped, I turned six shades of red, feeling like a complete idiot.
Eventually, they got me free. But now, every time I talk about or do something stupid, my dad leans over and says, “Hey, Sarah? Have you ever got your foot stuck in a chair?”
OK, maybe not the most embarrassing moment in my life…but I haven’t forgotten it. Shortly after my 1st child was born, she and I went on a little outing. I was carrying her in a snugli on my chest as we were perusing the clothing racks at a Ross store. Well, I squatted down to take a gander at something on the bottom rack and as I was raising up, a little something snuck out none too quietly. I could have blamed it on my C-section or the 24 hours of hard labor I had recently endured, but nope I looked shockingly at the lady standing VERY close to me and then down at mw sweet babe, and exclaimed, “Calissa!” And then turned quickly away before my face could turn any more red!
Happy Birthday! =)
Ok, here goes! I promise I am not a crass person (rather shy about bathroom habits really), but there is no delicate way to put this:
I was on my period and using a public restroom at a Bob Evans restaurant. After (of course!) I changed my tampon, I realized my stall was out of paper, so I looked down and saw the stall beside me was empty and reached my hand under to try to borrow some tp. Apparently I had not looked carefully enough, because as I patted around the metal divider and finally reached the roll, I felt my stall neighbor’s hand trying to unroll some herself.
As if that wasn’t awful enough, I dropped the used applicator of my tampon on the floor (probably because I was so shaken up about the previous incident) and it rolled into the (same) stall next to me. I reached under the partition to grab it (maybe she hadn’t noticed?!) but before I could get to it, she reached down with a wad of toilet paper and grabbed it herself. (Oh, the humiliation!)
I think we were both trying to wait each other out, both hoping the other would leave first, but in the end I “won”.
I rejoined my party at my table (Mind you, this all happened before we’d even ordered our food), and I just hoped the poor lady from the bathroom wasn’t seated anywhere near us. (I kept “sneakily” looking over my shoulder the entire time we were there.)
So there it is… Wow, I must like that fabric a lot. I think, perhaps, I should just buy myself a few yards as opposed to subjecting myself to this kind of humiliation. I must be really cheap. =)
What awesome free entertainment! I’m having the best time reading these and have to come back later to finish…so far, I think the pregnant girl stuck in the tub and the poor woman who threw up in the grocery store are winners!
I can’t believe it’s already been a year since your birthday last year…that is when I started following your blog. Happy, Happy Birthday!
I was one of you “Oh, I don’t have any embarrassing moments except wrong name calling” girls until this experience:
My husband and I had been invited over for dinner by another couple that we were just getting to know and really digging. We had many things in common with them, including belonging to the same church, and were looking forward to the chance to start deepening our friendship.
Cut to: Saturday evening. We show up at their (rather smallish) but nice apartment, dessert in hand, and enjoy small talk and drinks while the dinner is bubbling away and the dessert is stashed in the fridge by the hostess.
Dinner’s ready. We all sit down to eat. The food was really good, really it was…but not long after I finished my plate, I got THAT FEELING in my tummy. You know, the “rumbly-bubbly-I-really-don’t-think-I-can-wait-til-we-get-home-to-go” feeling.
I sat on it (bad pun) for awhile, trying to cue my hubby; giving him the eye, kicking under the table…nothing was working. He was enjoying the night and was in deep conversation with the host.
(Oh, by the way, I’m about 6 months pregnant.)
I was desperately chatting with the hostess, all the while pulling tightly on the “pucker string”, I think I actually worked up a sweat…and finally realized I was not getting out of there without relieving myself, and in a hurry. I gave in and asked where the bathroom was and she gestured towards a door RIGHT NEXT TO the dining room we were sitting in.
great.
I go in and think, “I’ll just make this quick and get right out…no one will know I did anything except go pee.” I employed my tried and true technique of creating the neccessary cover noise by turning on the faucet to run while I did my business.
Insert the scene from Dumb and Dumber where Harry blows up the chick’s bathroom up after Lloyd drugs him with a whole bottle of laxative. Yeah, it was that bad. I was praying that the thin apartment wall between me and the rest of the dinner party and my faucet trick were doing the job of noise control.
I’m finally done, and go to flush the toilet…guess what? Mmmm-hmmm, it stalls. The bowl slowly fills with water, while I stare at it thinking this isn’t really real until it gets even worse…the damn thing won’t flush and instead fills to the brim and OVERFLOWS all over the small bathroom floor and rug and goes toward the carpet under the door.
I’m horror stricken standing in an inch of poopy toilet water. I open my mouth to scream but nothing comes out. I finally croaked out my hubby’s name for help…he comes to see what I need and upon surveying the scene, only mutters “Oh my God.”
Yeah, my thoughts.
I tried to clean up the best I could, but since there was no plunger around, it basically amounted to picking the rug up off the floor and laying a used towel down.
We go out to explain to the hosts that their toilet malfunctioned and the woman says…”oh, did you use toilet paper?”
Pardon? Yeah, I thought that’s what all humans did.
“Oh, I should have told you that our toilet doesn’t flush when it has toilet paper in it…I’m so sorry.”
Well, I’m sorry too, but you now have a HAZMAT situation in your front bathroom.
The hosts made every attempt to put me at ease and insisted we stay for dessert all while laughing it off, joking that it can’t be that bad and things like this have happened to them before. I weakly suggested that hubby go home and get our plunger, but they wouldn’t hear of anything of the sort and said they would handle everything after we left. Oh joy. Hubby and I head home with a sick, cold dread in our hearts. This friendship is gone, we think to ourselves.
It’s nearly a year later, and the baby I was six months pregnant with is now six months old. We still go to the same church together, and are actually really good friends with this couple. I finally got over the initial embarrassment and realized what a gem of an embarrassing moment story this situation gave me, and have had many a laugh at myself…but everytime I see that poor guy, I am secretly embarrassed a little bit all over again that he had to clean up my pregnant poo.
Because I am reading your blog since a while & because I am totally in love with your creations, I would like to play too.
Hope my english is OK, as I am French.
The most embarrasing moment in my life happened in the Parisian subway.
When I was 19, I had a ski accident & 3 of my teeths were broken (the one that everyone can see, of course). My dentist didn’t work well, and once, as I was talking to a friend travelling in the subway, one of my new teeth fall down.
Happily, I put my hand under my mouth, so I didn’t loose it.
But everyone in the subway saw it & many people laughted at me !!
Pretty ridiculous, no ?
Happy B’day Heather =)
Happy Birthday Heather!
I worked at a call in center during college. People would phone the 800 number to request free religious literature. To make sure the caller’s information was correct we were trained to ask the person to spell their name and address and then we were to repeat back to them what we’d written down. I didn’t catch my mistake until I went to recite back to a male caller that I had written down P-E-N-I-S as his first name. I’d mistakenly heard the letter “P” and not “D” as the first letter of his name. Whoops! Very embarassing!
Oh my gosh, 93 comments and it’s not even 9:00!!
I’m dying over your bosom!!! I’m assuming you needed the walker to hold them up?
Well as far as embarrassing moments go the one that sticks in my mind was when I was at this photo shoot for a magazine and the photographer got a big hole in the crotch of his pants and we were all mortified and…..oh never mind!
Oh how rude of me!
Happy happy birthday Heather!!!!
Happy Birthday!
Like you I don’t embarrass myself easily. The same cannot be said for my mother. I embarrass her all the time. When I was five she took me to see Steve Martin in Dead Men Don’t Wear Plaid. In an early scene Steve Martin comes across a beautiful sleeping woman whose shirt is falling open. She wakes up as he’s touching her and he tries to coolly cover by saying, “I was just rearranging your breasts.”
At the end of the film (PG, honest!) she reaches down his trousers and says, “I was just readjusting your willy.”
My mom is already mortified she’s brought me to a far more adult show than she intended. The last line is delivered and I stand up, hand in the air and shout to everyone, “I KNOW WHAT A WILLY IS!”
My mom wasn’t exactly proud.
When I was pregnant with one of my kids, I had to have a sonogram. I drank all that water, then waited… and waited… and waited. When the technician finally came in he started the sonogram, then informed me my bladder was too full, and I had to empty it a bit. Huh? How do you empty it only “a bit”? He directed me to the restroom – just through those doors and to the right, he said. So I walked through those doors and found myself in a WAITING ROOM full of people! I was never so embarrassed in my life, standing there wearing one of those ridiculous gowns that open down the back. I hustled to the restroom, struggled to empty my bladder just a bit (which is really hard to do), and then I had to gather all the courage I had to walk through the waiting room again. This was in a hospital, and needless to say I NEVER had a sonogram there again!
Happy Birthday to you!!!
Happy Birthday, Heather! I have many embarassing stories. One of my husband’s favorites happened when we lived in the suburbs of Chicago. We were taking the train to work/school early one morning. We parked the car and each started walking to the platform. I walked straight into a 2 ft X 4 ft” sign . I don’t know how I didn’t see it. I crushed my face on that sign so hard, the whole platform spun around to see what had happened. It hurt SO bad. It was also a bit mortifying since it was eye level and huge. How could someone miss it. People on the train kept checking to make sure I was okay. Luckily no black eyes or bruising from the mishap. When we returned to our car at the end of the day, we examined the sign. There was an imprint of my forehead, nose and chin on the sign from my makeup. Ouch!
Alrighty, here’s the thing. I have a terrible memory. It’s sad really. I’ve had plenty that should be recorded, even though I don’t get embarrased easily, they could still be considered embarrasing…but I forget so easily. And I see you have so much to read, so I’ll just recite a lame little story. Once on a vacation with my proper grandpa – by marriage, who’d never had children of his own nor experienced all the funny things that do with them, I was about 13ish. I came out of the bathroom and had toilet paper coming out of the top of my shorts (you know how you line toilet seats with toilet paper – if there is no premade liner avail?) Anyhow, dear grandpa turned white and whispers to me calmly, “Carrie, you have a tail.” I was confused, but when discovered it, laughed hysterically and my sweet and proper grandpa couldn’t laugh like me about it. He was probably more embarrased than I.
I LOVE YOUR FABRIC!!! PICK ME OUT OF YOUR HAT!!! I’m prego and I hope to have a girl…I have two boys and I would LOVE making fun stuff for a biba girl! Or someone else’s biba if I get another boy”) I haven’t figured out where to buy Freshcut in my area yet…Roseville, CA
HAPPY BIRTHDAY HEATHER!!
I do have the most hillarious story to tell…
I am the Mother of three children, now all under ten so you know it is hard to pick JUST ONE! Ha!
Here is my family favorite…
I was out one day with my daughter and decided to go have lunch. She was 3 1/2 at the time and loves to talk to anyone who will listen. She meets no stranger no matter where she goes. When we arrived at the hostess stand she announces to the hostesses she now has to POOP! So I exit with her and head straight for the restroom. We quickly arrive to find there is a line of 10 or so waiting ahead of us. My daughter informs everyone of her immenent arrival and asks to go FIRST! Naturally the women tell her to go ahead and she drags me along for help. While in the stall I feel this gushing sensation and decide it needs to be investigated. I instantly imagine the monthly monster has arrived. TO my surprise and my daughter’s, it has arrived in full fashion! My daughter quickly asks after seeing the damage, “Mommy, did you drink red kool aide today?” I said “NO”, not thinking where she was going with the question out of concern for my current situation. She continued to ask what the red stuff was.I then threw a wad of toilet paper in the toilet and it made a splash! She leaned over to look in the toilet and asked as loud as possible..”Mommy, is that POOP red like your panties?” Needless to say, I was not eager to leave the stall because I was certain my face matched my panties! Upon exiting the stall, I was greeted by a lot of smiles and laughter. Children are sent by God to help keep us young and laughing.
Hope your birthday was the best!
Happy Birthday!
I used to be a corporate trainer. Everyday was spent in front of a room full of people. After a morning full of teaching – I headed to a friend’s office for lunch. She immediately grabbed me and pulled me down to her desk and whispered that my pants had a huge hole in the butt. What!!! I had just spent an entire morning bending over people’s computers and writing on the white board with my back to the entire class and no one told me that my pants had a huge hole in them!! Apparently the seam had split open at some point.
Luckily my friend had a sewing kit in her office and I managed to fix the hole – at least well enough to get me through the rest of the day. But I had to go back and face my class again after lunch! No one said a word – but I was oh so embarassed!!
I am laughing so hard, I am crying! What a great way to start the day! Love the stories…the pregnant girl with the toilet overflowing takes the cake!
I am still horified when I tell this story. I had been at the dentist having some work done on my upper front tooth, thus my whole upper lip was numb. After I was done in the chair, I decided to make a quick stop at the grocery store.
I frequent this store at least twice a week and I see the same nice people each time. Everyone is very friendly and helpful and they always stop to chit chat.
So on this day I walk into the store, grab my cart, and proceed through each department greeting the same nice people. On this day, however, I would get some rather uncomfortable stares and awkward hellos. I’m thinking to myself could I look that bad today? I knew I hadn’t showered yet that day and maybe my hair was a big disheveled from being in the dentist chair but seriously, why the weird looks? I didn’t even have my boys with me!
I proceed through the checkout smiling and talking to the cashier who can hardly look my way. The 15 yr.old bagger is acting strangely, too. At this point I just want to leave because I am feeling so self consious!
I hurry to the car, pull down my visor, flip up the mirror and to my horror, sitting right on my upper lip is a huge, gross, disgusting booger!!!! Oh my gosh…I could have died!
Could someone have clued me in before I made my way through the whole store? Just a little brush of the finger under their nose would have given my enough of a hint!
Needless to say, I still shop at that store every week. I can only imagine what they were saying as I left the store!
This has been fun reading these. Have a great birthday!
Happy Birthday to you Heather! Oh my goodness, the most embarrassing thing that popped into my head was on my way to church… All dressed up, and I must admit I looked rather beautiful that day! Being a rather large church, there was overflow parking across the street. Once parked you had to cross a major street to get to the church… There we all stood waiting for the light to change, waving and smiling at those already on the church grounds, and boy was it packed that day! I proceeded to walk just knowing I looked kinda cute, Honey and I walking arm and arm. Suddenly in the middle of the street without warning, the slip I was wearing fell completely down around my ankles!! I was in a state of shock!! My first reaction was to grab it, still in the middle of the street! My husband hollering kick it off Babe! So I did! I kicked it off with one foot, grabbed it and continued walking! Once I reached the other side of the street, I was so EMBARRASSED I felt faint! I grabbed my husband’s hand and quickly went around the corner of the church. After much consoling from Honey and my sisters I finally held my head up high and went on in to service……
I am telling you I could have crawled under a rock that day!!
Smiles…
Beverly
Happy Birthday Heather!
My most embarrassing moment: one day in my senior year of high school I wore my favorite GAP twirly, above the knee skirt… while walking into school I noticed a lot of people laughing… I didn’t think anything of it until a guy friend of mine told me that the back of my skirt was tucked into my undies. I was mortified!!!! The pluses of this situation: (1) I was a distance runner and had a pretty good bum at the time, and (2) this was before thongs became popular.
Ah this has been such a fun read today.
Embarrassing things happen to me all of the time…one of the more recent ones…
It was a very crazy day at the office and a few of us were so tied up that We did not have time at all to go to lunch. So…three of the girls that I work with and myself decided to have a pizza delivered to the office, and we’d eat it here.
The Pizza man comes and we all sit at the big white table in the office, with me on the end, and the girls on both sides of me with the pizza open buffet style infront of us.
We start chatting get into this histerical conversation and we’re all laughing so hard….and of course I’m doing everything I can to keep my mouth closed due to the large mass of pizza in my mouth.
My nose is pierced- and some how my newly changed nose stud starts to move in and out..as I chuckle. The more I laugh, the more it moves in and out. This of course makes me laugh even harder and then the girls notice….and by this time, we can NOT stop laughing. You know how it is when you start laughing and you cant stop? So there we are…mouths full of pizza and cant stop laughing. Then it happens. My nose stud pops completley OUT of my nose…yes mam, right out of my nose and on to our hot pizza. I was completley mortified and we were all laughing so hard we were crying….by the end of the day everyone knew and I still haven’t gotten over it.I’ve never/will never wear that nose stud again.
Happy Birthday Heather!!
I can relate with your husband. I have a whole stream of embarrassing stories. I recently did a funny story contest on my blog inspired by your last birthday, I think.
My classic embarrassing story:
In college, my biology class was the worst. It was a very large class and science is my worst subject. (I was an art major.) I would often approach the professor after class with questions. She thought I was completely dense. I could tell by her looks of “here she comes again.” Then we got to studying genotypes…which, for once, I understood. I was good at math. We had been given some problems to do for homework. The TA was going over them with us in class. I had already completed the problems and went into what I like to call “la la land.” Meanwhile, the TA comes to a point where she can’t figure the last one out. She turns to the professor in the back and says, “I just can’t do it!” At this point, still vacationing in la la land, I came to one of those moments, like in a movie where the person imagines that they do something amazing and triumphant. Well, while my brain was doing this, my body decided to go ahead with it. As the TA expressed her frustration, I jumped to the edge of my seat, shot my hand up in the air with the enthusiasm of a cheerleader/teacher’s pet. I yelled out, “I can do it!” ALL of the heads in the room spun in my direction. I, suddenly back from la la land, realized what I had just done (hand still enthusiastically in the air). The professor looked at me doubtingly, and asked me if I would like to go ahead and finish the problem. I was so mortified and shocked by my own behavior that I sheepishly declined. Later in class we watched a video of some sort. Unable to focus and still completely mortified I decided to leave class. I was sitting almost in the middle and had to work my way past everyone with my huge art portfolio. It could have been a triumphant story if only my subconscious and conscious thought had worked in tandem. But alas, as with most embarrassing stories, the execution was to blame.
Heather, happy birthday. I so enjoy your blog. I feel very inspired by how productive you are. Thank-you! And to reciprocate your embarrassing costumes I added one of my own to flickr. http://www.flickr.com/photos/10337722@N04/1105109231/
enjoy!
My life has been wrought with unfortunate incidents that I would prefer to forget. One of the most embarrasing happened this past March.
My husband and I have been taking Ballroom dancing lessons at a local dance club for about a year. In March the club held their annual spring formal and we were very excited to use our newly found dancing skills at the event.
In preparation, I decided that I must go out and get a brand new dress. I searched high and low before I found the perfect one… a black little number with a wrap top and a full skirt that twirled beautifully.
I was feeling especially graceful that night as we began our first waltz. About 150 dancers had shown up and another 75 people had come to watch from the sidelines. I felt like all eyes were on me… and then I realized that they were.
Unfortunately, I had not noticed that as I was twisting and turning, the wrap top of the dress had shifted out and off of my boobs! Even worse, I had on a lace bra that revealed everything that I would prefer to remain private.
I froze in place and then ran off the dance floor in horror. I asked around for a safety pin with no luck at finding one (I never leave home without one now). I ended up spending the rest of the evening fretting over my dress and pulling it back into place every time I moved.
At the end of the evening, one of the horny old men came up and told me that he “especially liked my show” and winked at me! Ever since then, every time we go to class, the club makes sure that “my top is on tight”.
I will definately be testing out my dress better before next year’s performance.
actually i have many to choose from…lol
years ago i worked as a waitress (10:00pm-5:00am) on weekends for extra money. people would come in after clubbing for breakfast before heading home. as i was the same age as most of these party animals we became âfriendsâ. my birthday was on a saturday that year, and i was able to get the night off to go clubbing myself. my best friend & i âdecidedâ to hit the diner on our way home. unbeknownst to me, she had arranged for a few of the regular customers to attend a small surprise party for me. per usual, when we arrived, i ran into the ladies room. after a few minutes i came out & my friend motioned to me to come to the banquet room, which was at the far end of the diner. i thought it odd but walked towards her. i made my way down the aisle & about 15 people fell in quietly behind me (mostly guys btw…lol)–as my friend had instructed them to do!!) when i reached my destination everyone yelled “surprise” followed by hysterical laughter…i spun around to see what was going on & my best friend reached over & pulled my skirt out of my pantyhose which i had inadvertly âarrangedâ to show off my butt to its full advantage…LOL
from then on i was known as “pantyhose” to all the regulars….LOL
I hope it is not totally lame to leave a link to my embarrassing story. My husband made the best juvenile slideshow to represent just how ridiculous it was.
http://www.notinaday.com/kelly/?p=247
Enjoy and HAPPY BIRTHDAY! The costumes are fantastic, by the way.
Okay Okay these are all so fun… I think mine is right up there! I had two weeks to go until I was to be induced…so VERY PREGGO… my 6 year old daughter and I wanted to go to a big mall in Nashville near where I went to college to get something for my hubby for his bday and well I had to potty – very frequently. So off I go to the restroom and used my sanitary toilet cover… Well apparantly that little buggar did NOT flush, rather, it stuck to the back of my pants. You know i was a big as a house and could not tell about my surroundings…Okay so I had no idea… walk out into the mall holding my daughters hand and carrying bags and a pusre and my huge baby belly. I had had little sleep but had to get this gift. Off I go… three stores later a lady walks up to me and says, “Miss I have to tell you…. I just have to… you have a toilet liner hanging from your pants!”
OMG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I was mortified… freaked out ran and pulled it off threw it away, sanitized my hands , and then smiled! ATLEAST THE WORLD KNOWS I AM SANITARY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
ROFL!
I guess mine is not as mortifying as some of these, but I asked my husband for an embarrassing story, because I don’t embarrass easily…He says, “How about the time you farted on our first date?” Oh yeah, THAT. And he still married me, and he still is surprised when I do now. Ha.
Happy Birthday! I can’t think of a really embarrashing moment. I do have the tendancy to say the wrong thing at the wrong time more often than I should.
Holy cow, I am cracking ribs over here! I don’t have any memories of really embarrassing moments (I think they must be suppressed), but just reading some of these have kept me blushing. Good luck picking out the most hysterical – whoever it is certainly deserves a prize for surviving it!
Happy Birthday!
My most embarrassing moment came when I just started dating my husband who is Jewish. I was going to join him, his family, and all of his parent’s friends at temple for Yom Kippur. I asked him if my conservative black dress was okay for the occasion and he responded with “yeah, it looks fine” as he put on a pair of khaki pants and white shirt. When we arrived at temple I walked in and noticed that everyone was wearing all white representing purity! Here I am a tall blonde in a black dress. Now I know to never trust my husband for fashion decisions.
Hi Heather, happy birthday!
I feel embarrassed just thinking about this…last summer I found a large black creature in my bathroom – nearly 2 inches long (although these things tend to grow in the mind, so have had to reign myself in from saying it was 2ft long…but either way, absolutely huge!), with a shiny body, and exceptionally scary looking. Anyway, after having a small screaming fit I asked my husband to take a picture of it before he removed it so that I could try to identify it. I searched for a bit on Google, but as I didn’t know what it was name-wise that I was actually searching for didn’t have much luck in finding something that resembled it. Anyway, the next night one fell off the kitchen ceiling and onto the laptop where my husband was working. When he later told me about it I became convinced that we had a fully-fledged ‘infestation’ of whatever the strange creature was and much to the amusement of my husband (admittedly I am slightly hysterical where unwanted house creatures are concerned)I e-mailed the local council who have a pest control division. Anyway, along with my e-mail message I attached the original picture that my husband had taken of it on our bathroom floor and asked if they would be able to tell me what it was.
However, later that day for some reason I went into my sent items and reviewed the e-mail, where it actually showed the picture I had sent at full-size in the body of the email…it was only when I saw the image at actual size that I realised that next to one of the creature’s legs was a very visible unmissable dark pubic hair!!!! Oh the humiliation!!!
Later that day a very business like email arrived in my inbox identifying the creature as cockchafer…although slightly ugly they are apparently completely harmless and would have flown in from outside, so my embarrassment was for not even for a good reason. And having typed all this I am now wondering why I am embarrassing myself all over again….obviously it must be because I adore Heather’s fabrics!
Happy Birthday!!!!!!!!
My most recent embarrassing moment was about 5 years ago. We had just had our first son and were taking him to the pediatricians for the first time. My husband and I were sitting around shooting the breeze with him. He asked about our son’s name (Caden) which was a little unusual at the time. My husband blurts out “Ya, my wife wanted to hame him Gabriel! Ha, ha, ha.” So, that’s our pediatrician’s first name. I wanted to die/never go back there. Of, course I was the one taking him to all the Dr’s appointments. Thank goodness our Dr. had a good sense of humor about it!! And he always remembers who we are.
Happy Birthday!!! I have plenty of stories, but more on the sad embarressing side than funny. There are some good ones here!!!
My water broke over dinner at a Chili’s restaurant. While I was there with my hubby and my parents! Need I say more?
I dribbled my way right out the door (with dinner as take out) ate my hamburger and headed for the hospital đ
First, Happy Birthday! You share a birthday with my niece, she turned 3, what a good day!! đ
I, like you, don’t embarrass easily. But, when I was 19, I had a, ahem, sore, on my bottom. It was actually on my tailbone. I went to the doctor to try to figure out what was going on. He had me lay on my side with my bottom exposed, and left the room, with the door open! I heard numerous people walk by and snicker. I was mortified! Not only am I having to show this doctor my bum (turned out to be a cyst I needed to have surgery for), but I was showing half the waiting room too!
Happy belated birthday Heather!
About a year ago I went to a friend’s wedding. During the reception, my friends were trying to get me to dance, so I finally caved in and went out on the dance floor with them. Usually I just look like a bunch of limbs flailing helplessly about, so it takes quite a while for me to warm up to the idea that people might actually see that happen. What concerns me the most is not that the other people I’m dancing with might see the stupid dance moves I’m pulling out of my bag of tricks, but the people who are all sitting around on the outskirts of the dance floor just trying to have normal conversations and who might get distracted by That Thing! That Thing that’s just moving around like something they’ve never seen over there on the dance floor. So after a while of just standing there laughing while everyone danced around me, I loosened up a little and danced for a while. Then I left the dance floor and even put my shoes back on so that I could leave. But that’s when it happened. The DJ started the next songâFootloose! I was so excited. I did an aerobic routine in 6th grade to that song for the entire school with some other girls in biker shorts, so I started pulling out some of my moves (note that I was no longer on the dance floor. I was standing around in normal conversation with other people who were standing around also having normal conversation). So I had suddenly created my own dance floor and I was dancing around with my legs moving about in a way that made sense in my head but clearly, to other people, it still just looked like flailing. Not ten seconds into my routine, I realized that I had lifted my foot so far up behind my dress as the precursor to a kick that I had managed to slip the tall skinny heel of my new shoe through a hole in the lace edging at the bottom of my dress. It didn’t slip back out instantly. Nor did it slip back out at all. It stayed in my dress and I fell to the floor, right on top of my self respect. I totally ripped the back of my dress, and my friends just stared at me. A few helped me back up. It took the whole past year to decide to dance again.
Well Heather there are so many I may need to cherry pick but a few…
1. On holiday with my fiance (now husband) and a group of friends in a cabin – we had our own room. We went to bed earlier than the others who were all still noisily getting drunk in front of a fire. Things got a bit romantic if you catch my drift and we were trying really hard to be quietly romantic when a voice right outside the bedroom door says “we can hear you and we are all listening.” Couldn’t face anyone at breakfast.
2. Sitting in class cross legged age 10 when I went to change positions – so I could sit with my legs under me instead – as I swung one leg out I farted in a lull of silence. Everyone in the class including the teacher howled with laughter. I thought I would never live it down.
3. Went to a pool party at a friend’s house when we were all about 13. She had an extremely good looking big brother who was Mr Cool at school who I always tried to catch the eye of. Fast forward to a couple of weeks later over at her house checking out the party pictures – there I am in all my glory – bathing suit completely transparent. Mr Cool walks in leans over the picture and says “What a slut” looks up at me and says “Oh its you.” Insert BRIGHT red face and trying not to cry!!!
I’m feeling so much better though about it all after reading all these other stories!!!!
Hippo Birdie 2 Ewes Heather!
Here’s mine….
I was at happy hour with a group of friends. I THOUGHT i was okay and not too tipsy, but when I stood up to go to the restroom, I realized I had drunk more than I thought (or hadn’t eaten enough to absorb it all!).
Anyway, I went into the restroom and remember thinking…”Wow, these stalls are abdormally long and thin. I proceeded to go to the restroom. (Now, to understand this story, you must know that I ONLY SQUAT in public restrooms for sanitary reasons).
When I finished, I reached for the toilet paper….only to discover that it was way back in the stall (where the toilet also was!).
I was squatting in the front of the long, thin stall and peeing ON THE FLOOR!
The line of women waiting to use the restroom was mortified, as was I.
Of course, I had to stop and wash my hands before I left and they all had the opportunity to really check out the drunk looney who peed on the floor.
I must end this story by saying that I am now much older and wiser. I can now hold my alcohol better and for sure I can aim better in the public restrooms.
Hope you had a great Birthday! My birthday wish for you is may you never have an embarrassing story to tell for the rest of your days! My story took place when I was 16 visiting my grandparents with my family. We were staying at their house and my sister, who is a year younger than I, and my aunt got into a wedgie war. I was never fond of wedgie’s and I’m still not but they were trying all day to “get me”. I managed to escape them and had hoped they would forget about it and leave me alone now that it was bed time.
I wanted to take a quick shower but the downstairs bathroom (the kids bathroom) was occupied. My bags were in there and I didn’t plan ahead so I just ran upstairs and quickly jumped in the upstairs shower. I realized after getting out that I didn’t have any clean clothes so instead of just putting on my dirty skivies, yuck, I just slipped my p.j. shorts back on and threw my shirt on waiting for the person in the rest room downstairs to evacuate to get my clean clothes and watched t.v. While I was laying on the floor my sister decided it was her last chance to finally get me and snuck up behind me reaching down my shorts to get my undies and tug.
I was laughing so hard I couldn’t breathe to tell her I didn’t have any on. It took her several minutes before she realized she wasn’t going to find any. She ran off screaming to scour her hands clean and I just laughed and laughed. My entire family got to view the show and thought it was the highlight of our visit. It’s now become the favorite story of family reunions and even though I’m an adult and never go “un-undie clad” they still tease me about it and it still makes me blush.
Happy Birthday – mine’s today…and I LOVED Stardust – thanks for the tip. I wasn’t sure looking at the previews but hubby and I went on Sat. for a birthday date and we loved it.
I am a clutz…I can be walking and all of a sudden just fall. Anyway, when I was about 7 months pregnant with my last child, I went to Costco and it had been raining and was slippery. And I was wearing the death slippers from Old Navy (that after a while slip like crazy). Anyway, I was walking up to the front to get a cart and slipped and landed right on my butt! Of course everyone rushed over to make sure I was ok – I was a girl with a big belly falling to the ground. I got up and played it off as if nothing happened but my face was so red as I cruised into Costco (and I held onto the cart for dear life on the way out!!)
Happy birthday! I have two embarassing stories.
My first and most embarassing (though I can laugh about it now) took place when I was 11 sometime during the last weeks of school. Now, in order to understand the oddness of it all you have to know that up until I was 12 I usually went home from school with a friend of mine almost every single day from second grade to sixth. I can count on one hand the times my mom picked me up (once in a Rolls Royce!) so on this day, as I walked out of school and saw my mom waiting for me I was honestly surprised. We’d just gotten the car (we usually didn’t have one) and she’d brought her new boyfriend. That’s Odd Thing Number 1. Odd Thing Number 2: My mom was outside the car leaning into through the window to talk to Chris (her boyfriend). Odd Thing Number 3: She was wearing a long blue circle skirt. My mom never, ever wears long clothes unless it’s winter and then she’s grudgingly in pants, and they’re always very tight. What can I say, she has great legs. Still, this was the 80’s so even *having* a circle skirt is a bit strange. It was a fabulous skirt though.
So, three very Odd Things Indeed but I’m actually happy my mom’s even there so I rush over to the car – and it’s the end of the day so the place is crawling with kids – and just as I get there and before my mom sees me a great big gust of wind comes and blows up her skirt over her head and my mom doesn’t. wear. underwear.
And, I guess she doesn’t feel a breeze or anything because not only does she try to fix the skirt like a normal person she just keeps on leaning over talking to Chris with her skirt over her head and underwear doesn’t miracle itself onto her butt. I dive into the car somehow (I don’t recall opening the door, but I must have had), try to hide my face under the seat as the cat calls start up, my mom is still oblivious to anything and I’m screaming at her to GET IN THE CAR AND DRIVE!
At eleven this is excruciating! And I was never more grateful for having moved a week before and I was going to a new school the next year because this was unliveable.
Ah, I love my mom.
Second most embrassing thing though at the time even I thought it was hilarous:
New school, new friends. One of them has a fifties party and oh my goodness there’s a circle skirt involved in this one as well only this time I’m wearing it. Anyway, we spent weeks getting this routine together were four of us lip sinc and dance to Leader of the Pack. It’s a huge production and we’re supposed to perform it in front of some friends, her parents and *their* friends who are in town for a visit. So we’re dressed up and everything goes great. We do our little routine, people lie politely and say they enjoyed it, the grownups go back in the house and we all hang outside.
Someone, I don’t know who but I doubt it was me, suggested we have a race. So we do. And I hate running but I am a good sprinter so after the lap I’m way ahead, feet pumping, skirt flying – with a petticoat, did I mention that? and as I get to the house I notice their sliding glass door was closed. And I thought to myself as I was racing up to the door, “The door’s closed. I have to jump now.”
So I jumped.
Into a sliding glass door.
On purpose.
And then I bounced off and fell down onto my back and all I see are the entirely shocked expressions of my friend’s parents and their guests at the complete idiot who just bounced off their glass door.
But, you know, I’m laughing too hard to worry about what they were thinking because I’d just tried to crash through their glass door thinking that I coud actually jump through it.
And also I just won the race.
I hope you have a wonderful birthday!
Happy birthday!
Well, I doubt this holds a candle to some of the earlier stories, but one time when I was probably around 11 years old, I went out to dinner with my parents at a restaurant at a hotel. Midway through dinner, I started feeling ill. Something on the salad bar just totally didn’t agree with me. It got bad enough that I excused myself from the table and headed to the restroom which was down a long hallway. I didn’t feel terrible, so I wasn’t exactly rushing. Then, suddenly, I couldn’t stop myself from throwing up, right there in the hallway. All over the place. I stumbled into the bathroom and threw up again, all over the bathroom.
After that, I totally felt fine (physically) but coming out of the bathroom and walking past the hotel check-in desk to get back to the restaurant (where, thank goodness, my dad was settling the bill), I was ready to die of embarassment. I had to stop at the front desk and let them know there was an accident to clean up, yikes. Even today, if I drive past that hotel (which changed names shortly after my incident), my dad will still bust out with the story.
Hi Heather! Happy Birthday!!
Here’s a little ditty for you…
After having my twins by c-section I was temporarily placed in a ward room with other female patients who had had operations. We were all told that we would be bloated and to pass gas whenever we had to in order to relieve the pressure. I was much to shy for this and did everything to be discrete and manage the discomfort. My husband, on the other hand, took the opportunity to let a massive one rip from behind the curtain that sectioned off my bed from the others. I was so embarrassed but managed to sheepishly sneek out an ‘excuse me’ thinking that all the ladies must have assumed it was me.
I could share many more… like the time my husband accidentally tried to walk up the down excalator at the mall.. but I will sign off now and wish you a fabulous birthday.
Best wishes,
Alexandra
My most embarrassing moment ( to me anyway) was in High School. I think I was a Freshman and at one of the season’s first football games. I was with a group of friends including a guy who I was swooning for at the time. I was noticing that almost everybody had their face painted with Go Eagles or Win or #1. Well, after seeing SO many people all with #1 on their faces I (without thinking for one minute second) asked my friends, “Who IS #1 on our team cause like everybody loves that guy!” DUH!!! I still get red in the cheeks thinking about it!
Happy Birthday!!
oh my, these stories are so great, I have them up at work to give me giggles throughout the day…great idea, Heather!
I participated last year in your birthday card contest, so I thought it only fitting to add to the list of stories!! firstly though, I hope you are having a great birthday!! (and that it’s not blazing hot where you are like it is here!)
like your husband, there is a life full of embarrassing moments over here. ask my friends and family and I’m sure they will volunteer any number of stories. I’ve never been the most graceful, even when trying my hardest. in the end, I always say it must be part of my charm (right?)!
my most favorites are ones where I have fallen up and down stairs…numerous times. me and stairs..we have a sordid past. however, there’s one story that has nothing to do with stairs that sends me into a laugh every time I think of it or tell it. Racking my brain just now I thought of it again. so here it goes..
——
I was, I believe, in Junior High School…somewhere between “little kid” and “teenager.” so I was just reaching the stage of being aware of myself and when/when not to be embarrassed, crushes, competition, etc. I was so excited, because it was a Friday night and one of my good friends at the time was having a huge slumber party. I wanted to make sure to look my best and have just the right things and just the right birthday present for her.
Well, I suppose everything met my little standards, because we set out (my mom and twin brother in the car) for her house which was only a few blocks from my own. We make it there and I get out with all of my belongings and give my mom a kiss goodbye. I am excitedly waving at them in the car as I make my way backwards towards the house.
I decided I’d said enough goodbyes and went to turn around and properly walk to my destination. I even saw my friend Molly and her mother standing in the front door of the house, smiling and waving. other kids piling out of the cars and heading in the same direction. and then my whole world was turned upside down. literally. I thought I was being attacked by something sharp and scratchy, that tossed me onto the ground. I was a kid, it seemed very likely at the time.
It was already dark out (just past dusk) and so I had no idea that when I turned around toward the house, I walked STRAIGHT INTO A TREE…and proceeded to stumble OVER it in a somersault and land, very confused and shaken, on the other side of it..present and sleeping bag gripped tightly in my hands. I should mention it was a smaller tree, one that I can only imagine had been recently planted. regardless, it was a TREE, for goodness sakes. not exactly invisible, is it?
Needless to say, my “perfect sleepover dream” was a bit dashed. I had to be told repeatedly “you walked right into that tree…didn’t you see it?” Ummm…no, clearly I did not see the tree. ahem.
A few hours later, and a tummy full of pizza & cookies…and it was yesterday’s news. đ
——
again, I hope you’ve had a wonderful birthday , especially with all of these stories to read (or novels to read, as mine turned into!)!!
.xo. Jenn
too funny! my moment may not be all that embarassing to some but I remember just wanting to crawl under my seat, so….
it was mother’s day at church and the pastor was doing the usual tribute to mothers. He asked all the mother’s to stand as well as anyone who would be a mother some day….well, my row “pressured’ me to stand as we were planning on having kids…someday. So I stood, a little reluctantly, and someone behind me gasped and got all excited because she assumed that I was announcing that I was pregnant. I got so many “congratulations” hugs after church that day. As if I wouldn’t tell people in person!
I can think of quite a few, but I will share this one, which I was able to save myself from ~
Me and two of my best girlfriend were hired to work at a water park, and went to a large meeting for all of the recent hires. There were so many people, they had run out of seating long ago, and we had to sit on the floor.
So, of course, as soon as I sit down the back of my jeans rip open (a day I was wearing bright red underwear). I told my friends, and we put together an escape strategy, for when the meeting ended. (This was not only a room full of future co-workers, but they are also *teenagers*. That is not the first impression you want to make)
Luckily, they had given us a folder of information, which I ‘casually’ held over my butt, and my friends walked closely behind me. There was much laughing, once I was safe.
Oh, man I had to stop reading the responses – I’m laughing out loud! The one grabbing the boss’ family jewels & streaking is hilarious. I can’t compete – mine are just plain embarrassing & not funny.
Oh, well what the heck…there was the time when I was like 19 & went on a job interview – I did great, they liked me, I passed the typing tests & then was told I needed to go to this clinic for a physical. well, it turns out I had to do something I thought was very embarrassing…I had to get in a busy line, go in the unisex restroom & pee in a cup! I couldn’t do it…people were waiting, um, mostly construction worker-type men, which made the pressure worse for me. I told the front desk & they said, drink water…I drank water, coke & nothing! It was now lunchtime & the front desk said to come back after lunch & try. I went home, ate, drank & then I had to go. My mom gave me an Excedrin pill bottle & told me to go in it & bring it to the clinic (this was not unusual – she did it this way for her Dr. any clean container would do). Whew. I went back to the clinic & presented the specimen (in a paper bag) & they looked at me like I was nuts. “You have to do it HERE on the premises, in this cup”!! And, so I sat & drank & waited & waited until finally I was able to pee for them. I went back to the job like I was told to do & they were all up in arms – “where were you? – what the heck happened?” I couldn’t tell them! So, basically I pissed that job away. I was so angry when I left I took that bottle of pee & threw it at a stop sign!
ROFL…. love the old cronies pic!
most embarrasing ever? definitly flipping over the handbars of my 10 speed while the crush of my dreams rode by one his ultra cool 10 speed when i was in the 7th grade. utterly humiliating and all because the straps to my esprit book bag {remember those??} got caught in the spokes.
lol
I thought of another and just had to share since it is cake related… đ
When I was in the second grade I got invited to my first ever co-ed birthday party. Best part was that my elementary school crush was going to be there too! I wore my favorite white dress with the pink polka dots and remember feeling exceptionally pretty that day.
About 20 minutes into the party they decided to cut and serve the cake. I had been sitting on the couch next to my crush and asked him to save my seat. I went up to get my cake and realized that I had forgotten a fork so I asked him to save my seat and watch my cake.
I came back and sat down… when I felt an odd squishiness under my bottom. He had placed the plate of cake onto the couch to save my seat! I stood up, cake plate stuck to my rear and he peeled it off of my behind while everyone rolled around laughing at me. I was humiliated!
To make things even worse I ended up having to spend the rest of the party in a He-Man Tshirt and boys jean shorts since my dress was covered in chocolate.
Maybe it’s because I’m a klutz or maybe I was just born destined to be embarrassed my whole life but I have tons of stories and reading all these comments has made me feel loads better about it.
Okay hereâs my MOST embarrassing story. The first time I met my ( now husband ) boyfriends parents I was staying at their summer house with them for a week. Two days into the stay (that had been sort of rocky to begin with) I started having stomach problems. I went to the hall bathroom that morning and the port-hole to hell opened out out of my bum! Fortunately everyone was still sleeping because that was the most unlady like mess that I have ever come across! It stunk up to the high heavens and it was just sooooo soooo much! I started to freak out I must have flushed like 5 times! I finally got rid of all the visible evidence of my colon exorcists! I then had to find something for the gagging aroma left behind. Of course that bathroom had no freshener spray, bathroom cleaners, perfumes, hell at that point I would have rubbed scented lotion on the walls BUT NO NOTHING! So I thought Iâd sneak back to my room and bring back my perfume and spray that. Well I went to my room and when I was going back I ran into âthe dadâ and he was standing right by the bathroom! He had a disgusted look on his face and he called âthe momâ and says âKaren I think an animal must have crawled in the walls and dyed, come here I want you to smell somethingâ Sheer horror fell upon me! The mom came over and took a wiff and says âOH MY GOD it smells deadly!â They then call me over and ask me âDo you smell that?â I say âuhhhh yeah?â They call my boyfriend over and he says âDAMN it smells like Bigfoot came over here and took a monster dump after eating Indian food!!!â He then looks over at me and says âDidnât you just use the bathroom??? Why are you holding your bottle of perfume?â Everyone at the same time put two and two together and gave look of disbelief. Quickly my boyfriend says âSee what you guys are doing to here insides!â I gave a polite yet awkward laugh and excused myself. We never talked about it again! I always make sure to have some sort of spray with me at all times whenever I visit my now in laws.
Happy Birthday!
Here’s my story:
Our ballet recital theme was “The Wizard of Oz”. I was in college at the time and worked as an instructor at the dance studio. At the time I was in between sizes to where I could wear Juniors clothing, but could still wear children’s sizes. Since I could fit into the child size I was put into the Lullaby League Lead part. The costume was a frilly pink concoction with pink marabou trim, with lots of pink tulle, and plenty of pink ribbons, and even a halo of pink stretch with marabou trim for the headdress. While the costume was embarrassing enough for a college student I had to go pick up “Emerald City” where the “Munchkins” had knocked it over in their dance. While the munchkins were dancing I was told by the Head Instructor to go pick up Emerald City. I go out there all proper and get to it and bend straight over and duck tail everyone with my pink tutu! So everyone saw my behind! As if this were not traumatizing enough I had not went on stage with my Lullaby League yet. So when myself and the children went on stage you could see all the Mothers, and Grandmothers covering their mouths with the program giggling and talking about me! Needless to say I heard a lot about Ducktails, and every year at Recital we received the do not turn your back to the audience speech!
Hope you have a Great Birthday!!!
~ Kris
Happy Birthday Heather,
Well this is not so embarrassing compared to others but it is the most recent I can remember. This summer while on a group trip on a lazy river a couple of us were bent over “rowing” with our hands to try to catch up with the rest of the group. I have to mention that the water is REALLY cold as it is spring fed and I had NO intention of getting in the water. Well I must have leaned forward too far because I went straight over head first and butt straight up in the air!
Ok, here goes:
Yesterday, my neighbor and i loaded up our families and headed out to the cascades and swimming hole at the state park about an hour away. I absolutely could not find my bathing suit, so i made the ill-informed decision to just go swimming in my t-shirt and shorts. no big deal, right? well, it didn’t occur to me that i was wearing a WHITE t-shirt, until after I’d jumped in the water. of course, it became completely transparent, and i wasn’t wearing a bra, and it still didn’t occur to me until after i got out of the water and my 2-yr old yells out “mama! i see your boobies!”.
yeah. THEN i realized what had happened. and i proceeded to try to stay in the water for the rest of the afternoon, where noone could see, until ppl started to go home, because i was mortified, and diidn’t even want to make the sprint across the rocks to get to my towel, which was right next to a whole gaggle of teeneage boys.
Happy birthday!
Happy Birthday…and many more!!
I have to be honest and say that I’ve had numerous embarrasing moments( too many to count). The one that sticks out in my mind is when I was in the hospital about to deliver my first child…..my hubby had a sneezing fit……walked out of the room……met his best friend in the hall…..came back in with his male best friend……. while I was being checked for dilation. That was embarrassing. Not to mention that his best friend was the weather man for our local city news station. Needless to say, I couldn’t watch the news anymore after that!
Andre’a
ha!
love the story and the photos!
okay here is my most embarrassing story. i will say that it is much better to actually tell the story than write it, but here it goes.
My husband and I joined a new church and then were blessed with our first son. After having him, we began to meet more people at the church and talk to them. There were two older gentlemen that were very friendly and kind. They would often bring little treats/gifts for our son to mass on Sunday. However, we never formally introduced ourselves…just did the perfunctory small talk. Well fast forward 2 years and I was attending a night service during Lent and one of our friends was there. I sat next to him and he proceeded to talk to me during the service. At one point, I asked him what his name was, to which he replied, “Dick,” and then I asked him what his friend’s name was and he again said, “Dick.” And I responded, “So you’re both dicks.” Needless to say, my face became very red and I was much more quiet throughout the remainder of the service! LOL!
HAPPY BIRTHDAY to you!
Happy Birthday Heather!
When I was about 21 my girlfriends took me to a local dance club/gay bar. They had “straight night” on Thursdays and the best dance music in town. We had to wait in line for a while and when we finally got to the front we got our I.D.’s checked and then a girl asked us if we wanted our hand stamped. It was really loud so I didn’t realize that my girlfriends all said no. I thought the stamp was so you could go out and come back in again without paying the cover charge twice so I held out my hand and she stamped (in very large print) DIKE. I went straight to the ladies room and scrubbed it off. Sheesh.
Happy birthday!
As for embarrassment, there are quite a few stories to choose from. A few years ago my husband and I were going on vacation, and on the way out of town I needed to stop at the bank. The nearest branch was in a grocery store. He pulled up the car to the wrong side of the store, so I had to go inside and scurry past all the lines of people to the bank counter. After my business was finished, I went back across the to the door I came in to use the restroom. To my horror, somewhere along the way the pad I was wearing managed to detach itself from my panties, slip out of my skirt, and land somewhere in the store, presumably right in the middle of the bustling crowd. I fled the store as inconspicuously as possible and never returned, lest there were any witnesses. I’ve never told anyone this story, so please, have a good laugh. đ
How is this for embarassing…
I was nine months-ish preggers with our daughter and we went over to a friends house for a game night. The couch was too soft and the chairs were too hard so I decided to toss a pillow on the floor and plop on down. Now the pillow was just right… sounds like goldilocks… any way. I needed to rush off to the bathroom, as most nine month pregnant women need to do often but I couldn’t seem to get up on my own, so being the wonderful hubby that he is- Steven helped me up. Little did I know he had a foot directly on the hem of my skirt and when I got to my feet & after a “rrrrippp” I was left standing in my ever so not flattering granny preggy panties. It was awful! A few safety pins later and a quick bathroom trip we left with me all crying. We laugh now, but at the time I wanted to just crawl under the table… good thing we are all friends!
Happy Birthday and hope you laugh and smile all day!
Happy Birthday!
Hmm… the only thing that comes to mind was way more funny than embarrasing, but here goes …
My oldest son wouldn’t nurse so pumped milk for him all the time, about every two hours, wherever I was. One morning I had to pick up my daughter at my parents church and was waiting in an empty parking lot for her. Good time to pump … knowing it’d be 10 or so minutes before church got out.
So I go about my business in the front seat of the car, not paying too much mind to discretion because no one was there. I finish and as I’m removing the pumps cups I see the man, in the car directly in front of me and facing me, look up from the book he’d been reading.
Yes, he’d been there the whole time and I just hadn’t noticed. I’m sure he got an eyeful that day.
I can not believe I am about to share this, but I really want some pretty fabric. A few years ago before my husband and I were married and just engaged, we went out to my friend Jen’s home to do some sledding at winter time. After a half hour to hour of playing outside, we went inside to warm up and have some chili and cupcakes.
So I am standing next to my husband as we are talking to this other couple who I’ve met only one other time, and my friend Jen is there too. I don’t know if it was the chili or all the fresh air, but I was feeling a little gassy. Out of no where, my husband grabs me to give me a quick squeeze and out comes a tight, loud, fart. Of course my face gets red and I am mortified. I mutter “excuse me”. My friend Jen yells, “Woohoo, way to go!!! Let it breathe!” The other couple says, “Oh-no problem.” And my fiance says, “What? What was that?” I am wishing I could just die as I have to explain that I just passed gas thanks to his little “hug”. “Is THAT what that was?” he asks, “I thought I heard marbles falling on the floor or something.” Did it end there? No-my husband had to make a big deal about how I never pass gas in front of him and should just do it more often. Then Jen has to chime in about how I should just fart in front of him all the time since we are going to be married and how she can’t believe I don’t do it already.
I just saw Jen last week. To this day she still brings up how I farted in front of Jake for the first time and asks if I’ve ever done it again. Embarrassing.
No embarrassing tales – just a happy birthday wish.
I was on my honeymoon. I was 18, I’d been a virgin on my wedding night, and I had z-e-r-o experience in sex and “stuff”. On the second day of our honeymoon, my husband suggested we shower together. Ooooo! How kinky, I thought! It was just the sexiest thing I’d ever done! I was so impressed with my risque self.
I must backtrack a little. I’d been so nervous about the wedding and what came after the wedding, that I hadn’t eaten much in the days leading up to this moment. And we were in Mexico, where it was quite warm, and the AC did not work in our hotel room that afternoon.
So back to that steamy bathroom. There we were, in the shower. (I’m nearly PIMP when I remember how seductive I thought I was.) I start to feel a little strange. A little dizzy. My husband was washing my back, and I thought to myself “I’ll just close my eyes for a moment”. The next thing I remember was *CRACK*! My skull hitting the tile as I fainted and fell (“like a tree” my darling husband later told me) out of the shower and onto the floor, in all my soapy, naked glory.
Nearly 20 years later, I laugh and laugh at myself, but at at the time, I wanted to die.
Hi Heather
I’ve got one for you. I was working in a velvet manufacturer’s office and my boss said that our president would come and visit us from Belgium the next day. I decided to wear a wrap around skirt I just sewed for the first time. When the president arrived I was filing some documents in the lowest drawer of the file cabinet and when I got up to greet him, my skirt which closed only by a snap, stayed on the floor!!! I never got dressed fast as that time never again and my day had just started because after lunch, he asked me to make coffee for everybody (around 12) and I tripped on the carpet when I entered the room. The president then asked my boss what was my job and when he answered “Customer relations” the president said that our customers must never get bored with me…. What a day!
PS I’m sorry for the english because I’m french speaking
Au revoir! Maggie from MontrĂŠal
Oh, Joanne, the tears are falling down my face. You poor thing. The marbles bit is the best!!
Happy Birthday Heather! Loved reading about your “hair rat” and love those old folks custumes!! I have the hardest time thinking of major embarrassing moments. I have so many little ones on a daily basis (it usually has to do with my now 5 year old shouting out things about people at the store, lol) I know this comment is WAYYY down on the list, but if you do end up getting to me and you actually have a free moment would you mind telling me what you did at that 30th birthday party. My husband turns 30 next year and I think it would be a blast to have people dress up. Thanks so much!
When I was in high school, I was shopping at the mall with some friends. They were having a big sale at the GAP, so we scoured the racks for our size. I decided that a pair of jeans were too cheap to pass up, and I brought them with me to the dressing room even though they were a size too small. I tried them on (and couldn’t get them zipped), so I had to let them go. However, as I’m trying to get out of these super tight jeans, they got stuck around my ankles, and I lost my balance and fell. That’s embarrassing enough, but the way I fell was such where my underweared butt was hanging out of the bottom of the dressing room door. It took me what seemed like forever to get my butt un-wedged from the door opening and get back on my feet. My friends and the male sales clerk were laughing hysterically outside the door. I was mortified. đ
You have so many to read!! I am a bit like you that I do not get embaressed easily but I have enjoyed reading!!!
Happy birthday!
hmm, my most embarrassing moment was back when i was in elementary school. my father owned his own business and the logo was this cartoon termite. he was looking for some free advertising, so my mother dutifully set to work and made a termite costume that the two of them forced me to wear. i had to walk the entire length of the county parade as a termite. it was humiliating. i’m pretty sure i got made fun of in school for years after that parade. this story is not nearly as funny without the picture of me wearing the costume. i should dig it out.
So the first thing I thought of when I read about your wild costume happenings was last Halloween. A friend of mine invited us over for a “halloween” party. Now the year before last year they did the same thing and it was a ton of fun, outrageous costumes, bobbing for apples, the whole kit and caboodle…. So this year we wanted to rock the party with our costumes. We spent hours, literally, putting together the perfect Nacho Libre costumes, and as you can imagine they were tight, and so unflattering, but hey, we wanted to win with the best costumes. We show up a few minutes late and were still the first ones there, and the host couple wasn’t in costume. Several more people show up, none in costume. The whole night, NO ONE is in costume, and I sit here in my tights (w/ underwear OVER them), and not wanting to take off my luche libre mask (which we bought in mexico) because I didn’t do my hare or makeup…. oh man… the longest two hours of my life!! it was embarassing, but at least we know we are a spirited couple, and always willing to be ourselves!! I guess that has to count for something!
Happy Birthday!!! Hope you get spoiled!
so my embarrassing story takes me back to when I was 21. I had borrowed my parents mini van to go downtown for a night out at a club. I was the designated driver for my new boyfriend and 5 of his guy friends who were DRUNK as can be. Downtown there are tons of one way streets and intersections that are close together. I was stopped at a red light and had a police car behind me. The light turned green or so I thought (it was actually the next intersection less then half a block away) My light was still RED!!! SO by the time I get halfway through the intersection (thank goodness I didn’t hit anyone or anyone hit me!) and of course the police car pulls me over. I AM MORTIFIED!!!! Not only have I broken the law unintentionally but 6 of my drunk friends are there to witness it! So the policeman comes around and says license please. (STILL MORTIFIED!) I pass it to him and I am practically in tears. He takes it back to his car, my friends are totally heckling me! He comes back and leans into the car and talks to the guy right behind me and passes him my license and says doesn’t she look like the girl from pulp fiction. and then looks at me and says with a smirk on his face “Please have a safe drive home” (I guess he could tell how upset I was and that it was unintentional and that I was doing a good thing by being the designated driver) But anyways I was SO embarrassed!
Happy Birthday!!! How fun!!!! My birthday is in just a few days!!!!
Anyway, my story takes place about 9 years ago. I was working at a telemarketing firm and I was the firms trainer. We had a client visit so everything was on high alert. We were all asked to dress in our best. So, I went and got a new skirt the night before. It was about 10 am and the clients were walking the floor. I had to go to the bathroom and as I left the bathroom I heard a chuckel but didn’t think anything about it. I walked the whole length of the floor back to my class room/office and when I got to my desk and went to sit down I went to smooth the back of my skirt before sitting. I then realized that I had tucked my sirt into the back of my nylons and then walked through the whole building where everyone could see my undies!!!! My face turned a millions shades of red and I didn’t come out of my office again until I was summoned for a meeting a few hours later. I was horrified.
I don’t embarrass easily so I’m really, really, really hoping to win just on the randomness of it all! Like, I’m sooo hoping to win that I considered making up a hugely embarrassing story . . . but as the summer winds down and my daughters will start school soon (my youngest starts kindergarten) I just don’t have the time or energy to make up anything good.
May the random forces of nature be in my favor!
dana
Oh my. Look what we’ll do for a free slice of Fresh Cut cake! wowza!
Happy Birthday to you!
My most embarrassing story is simple: once a boy I was dating grabbed my hiney only to accidentally grab a handful of maxipad instead. He didn’t touch my hiney again.
My husband and I were helping our dearest friends paint their new house. Our darling, adorable, and terribly behaved, Weimaraner – Tigger – bounded through their screen door and tore the thing right to pieces. We felt terrible, so insisted on replacing the screen door. So, my friend, Sarah, and I drove to Home Depot to purchase a replacement screen door. The door in question is a sliding, patio door. We purchased the door – very proud of ourselves for being modern women, capable of navigating Home Depot without a man. We carried the door out to the car – a Saturn coupe – and then panicked. Our faces fell. How were we going to get it home? It certainly wouldn’t fit inside the car. So, we had the bright idea that we would just tie it to the top of the car, like we had seen our Dads and brothers do with many things on previous trips to Home Depot. We got some string, and tied the screen door to the roof, and then we headed off down the road. The road being Interstate 5 in Southern California. We are tooling along, and all of a sudden, we hear a big noise. We pull over and get out to see what was the matter. Our beautiful screened door, our symbol of being liberated women, was folded neatly in half. We were crushed. We were pretty embarrassed and realized how our husbands would laugh at us when we arrived home with a screened door in that condition. We were very tempted to leave it on the side of the road, but we coulnd’t litter just to save face. So, we got back in the car and drove on in silence. Then we realized how hysterical it was when car after car drove by and honked and laughed at us for the remainder of the trip. We, of course, had to make a quick stop at the grocery store before going home to face the music. Would you believe the only parking spot in the entire lot was the one right out front by the door? Never is that spot available when you would like to have it. But, that day we had no other options. So, we ducked inside and did our shopping. As we came out of the store, there was a small crowd of people standing on the sidewalk laughing and pointing at the car. We waited until the crowd dispersed, and then jumped in the car and drove home as quickly as we could. When we arrived back home, we drove into the garage, honked the horn, and ran around the back of the house. Peeking from inside the house, we could see our husbands scratching their heads and trying to figure out how in the world we had done that damage to the now useless new screened door.
Happy Birthday, Heather!
Happy Birthday Dear Heather!
So sorry I can’t think of any embarrassing stories off hand, either! Hope your day is lovely in every way! Laurie~
HaPpY BiRtHdAy HeAtHeR!!!
Oh my, I guess I’m going to have to keep my fingers crossed for the random pick since I’m laughing so hard my stomach hurts, I don’t know if I can top some of these stories!
The best one I can think of right now is when I was in college I worked in a book store on campus. The upper level was open in the center, looking down on the main floor of the store – it had a wrought iron type railing and you could walk all the way around looking down to the lower level. Our work “back room” was in one corner of the big square, and the bathroom was in the other corner. One month I went to the bathroom and wasn’t “prepared” so I had to make do with some toilet paper while I ran back to the back room to get my purse. After walking all the way around in view of everyone on the upper and lower level, I realized I had a 4 foot toilet paper “tail” trailing out of my pants.
One other time at that same job I managed to call my boss Josh (who I had a very small crush on) “Joshy”. I don’t know how that slipped out but I was mortified.
Enjoy your birthday! Cake is my favorite part of a birthday, especially the kind you are serving up!
High School: making a freudian slip about 5 times during a speech, accidentally saying “sex” EVERY time instead of “SIX”. People were literally rolling in the aisles by the time I finally got done, lol!
well, first of all, i am brand spankin new to this whole crafty blog world and i am loving it!!!
yours was the first blog that has become part of my daily reading, i have been so inspired, i cant even begin to tell you, well, actually ill give you an example, i have begun to renovate the barn so i have my own space…yea!!! oh the possibilities!
…..anyay,i want to say happy birthday!
my embarrassing moment goes a little like this, i had decided to join a gym, thats actually funny enough in its own right. so, i had never been on the treadmill but it looks so easy right??? yeah well, all was good till i decided to go get off the treadmill and get a smoothie (whats up with that anyway?? why do they sell creamy smoothies at the gym, job security? i think so) so here i come jogging back up to my treadmill, i step on and am whipped flat on my face, apparently i did not turn the machine off, nice, right? but the worst part was that i flung the smoothie, the whole extra large blueberry banana icy love in a styrofoam cup across the room and when i say across the room i actually mean across about 6 very buff chests. it was awful, but i give myself credit because i did stay and help clean it all up when what i wanted to do was slink out of there and never return. i mean, dont get the wrong idea, i still never returned. would you?
there it is…
christie
Happy Birthday! I have a new baby and therefore no short (or long)term memory. That is embarrassing enough sometimes.
Happy, happy birthday! Here’s to a wonderful year…
So, it’s the mid-80’s, I’ve recently graduated from college and am on my way to work at my first job at an advertising agency. I’m all dolled up in a great, flow-y skirt, beautiful jacket, fabulous boots, feeling like a super fox. Even the construction workers across the street from our building are whistling at me – not that I dress for the construction workers across the street from our building, but a girl does like to get noticed. A few minutes later I feel a tap on my shoulder as I’m about to go into my building. A very nice-looking, well-dressed man (now, remember, I’m single, 22, girl-about-town, superfox!) is doing the shoulder-tapping. I flash him my best and brightest smile and he says: “Miss, I thought you’d like to know…your skirt is tucked into your pantyhose.” I about DIED!!!! No wonder the construction workers across the street from our building were whistling and cat-calling! And, no, this nice-looking, well-dressed man did NOT ask me for my number. I wanted to crawl into the sidewalk. Egads.
Happy Birthday! I LOVE embarassing stories and can see that I’ll be wandering back here to read others’ stories for the next few days… there are quite a few good ones!
OK, so in high school I was on the flag team. Our job was to spin, toss, throw and dazzle audiences at football, basketball, volleyball games and local Seattle parades with giant rectangles of silky fabric attached to 6-foot fiberglass poles. Part and parcel to this team was the uniform which was much like a cheerleader’s with the short skirt, sweater or sleevless top and the dance pants (spankies) underneath.
Being the smart alecs and teasers we were… the girls on the team that were friends would walk down the halls engaging in a little “contest”. The ultimate goal was to try to lift each others’ skirts with the 6-foot poles (the skirts were so short, you couldn’t even feel them touching your legs or booty). It was always a competition to see how long you could keep a skirt lifted before the other girl realized what was happening.
Well… unlucky for me, I was the victim who didn’t realize it for the longest time… all the way into the packed gym where the whole school had gathered for an assembly. We made our entrance and took our places on the floor. The other girls were giggling, but I didn’t know why until later when someone filled me in. Unfortunately there IS a picture of our procession, too, but it has conveniently been stored in a place no one will find it anytime soon.
As I am about three weeks from becoming a mother, I am sure there will be many other embarassing stories to fill my memoires soon.
Again, HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!
Many years ago, when answering machines were new, I was forced to leave a message on someone’s answering machine and I think because of the quiet, reverent tone of my voice, I ended the message by accidently saying “In Jesus name, Amen” and hung up the phone! I was completely mortified when I realized what I had just done!!
I’ve done too many silly things to count but the one that stands out:
I was in Finland on business. The trip had been planned for months so I tried to learn some Finnish but it has to be one of the most complex and subtle languages ever. It does not help that each word seems to be at least 18 letters long. The Finns speak very softly and they do not accent part of any word. I only managed to learn, “please,” “thank you,” “please point me to the ladies room,” and very importantly, “No fish please. I’m allergic.”
Most everywhere we went the young Finnish restaurant servers spoke at least four languages, some as many as eight. Most people under thirty spoke “British” but at a restaurant located at the top of a sky needle (similar to the Seattle Space Needle) our server was a big strapping blond boy who spoke only Finnish and Swedish, their two official languages. No problem, I thought. I informed him of my fish concerns. To my surprise, his face turned bright red and he ran back to the kitchen. A different waiter appeared, one who spoke British, and asked if I would tell him in my language what I needed. I told him I just can’t have fish because I am allergic to it. He busted out laughing but assured be that the venison was a good choice. He later confided that there are many word for fish in their language and the one I happened to use is mainly spoken as a slang word for SEX.
Lucinda
I didn’t do it! Honest!! (or should I just say, “Pardon me!”, and keep on walking?)–
I know I might be biased, but when my oldest daughter, Hailey, was 3 she was the picture of sweetness. All sugar, and smiles, downy blond hair, a nose like a button, and a mouth like a rose. Since she was my first daughter (I have 5), she never went anywhere without looking pretty darn spanky.
Well, one fine day, this sweet girl and I were out and about shopping. I was VERY pregnant with my second daughter…probably not my best look. Amongst the crowded aisles of Target, Hailey let loose the biggest gastrointestinal air bomb (a.k.a. a F*RT) you can imagine. The sound of that toot vibrated the merchandise on the shelves and echoed off the walls of the store. In a great big three-year old voice, that everyone within a 5-mile radius could hear, Hailey joyfully shouted, “That was a good one, Mommy!”
What do you do with that??? There wasn’t a soul in that store who would’ve believed that a bodily noise of that magnitude came from the Cindy-Lou Who look alike, and not the baby-on-board mommy pushing the cart. In the end, I think I just pretty much nodded my pink-cheeked head and kept right on walkin’.
Happy Birthday, Heather…Wishing you many smiles today and throughout the coming year!
wow…this is a lot of stories…but, hey, this one is good.
so i’m about 14 years old, vacationing at the beach with my family (mom, dad, 2 sisters). i idolized my older sister, so what she did, i did. she was way into bikinis. but she had a body. i had, well, not much of one. but i had a bikini and i wore it with pride that day to the beach. it was strapless (even cooler) and i loved it. but i couldn’t resist the boogy-board. my younger sister was out there having a blast, so the “kid” in me said, yeah, i’ll have a go at it. grabbed the board and out to the sea i go. catchin’ waves and riding with fun. until…
i catch this wave, ride ride ride (did i mention i was about 80 lbs…very little)…rode so far that the water stopped and i kept going…without the board. i was skidding along on my belly…strapless top all rolled up at my waist. i stop at an old guys feet…you know the one…sandles with a speedo…horrifying. i just lay there not knowing what to do. my family is crying with laughter at me…and finally helped me out by bringing the board over and giving me a little wall to fix my suit. i was horrified and humiliated…but maybe i’ll win the fat quarters…it’d be worth it.
It was just before my high school graduation. I had ordered this really nice linen suit dress to wear. My mother and I went out to find the perfect shoes. The only pair we could find at the last minute had 3.5 inch heals. I’ve always been clumsy, so we bought those little skid pads to put on the bottom so I wouldn’t slip. I looked so grown up, and was quite proud of how I looked. But… then it was my turn to take my diploma. They called my name, I walked across the stage in front of a thousand people or so and shook the mans hand. Successful so far! But then I headed down the stairs. All I know is that I heard an awful loud bang that rang through the whole building, and then fell face first into the lap of the next years student body president. It was then that I knew, the loud noise had been my 3.5 inch heal that ricocheted (sp?) off the podium. I knew there was no way to recover from this one. I did manage to pull off both of my shoes and recover the heal in record time. Then, flush-faced, I quickly poised myself and headed back to my seat. That wasn’t the worst part though. My mother was actually sitting right above me in the balcony. Being the type of person she is, she didn’t feel sorry for me at all. She was doing everything possible to keep from laughing out loud. Well… not everything possible, because I have never heard a laughing snort as loud as that night. The acoustics in that building were amazing! It just brought more attention to me. She still says that she has never had a worse headache than that night. My humiliating experience brought her so much joy. Anyway, needless to say the skid pads on my shoes worked, but the shoes didn’t.
I’d have to say my most embarassing moment story comes from way back in high school. I played the flute in marching band and that year we took a trip to New Orleans. We rode on a bus all the way from SD, so it got pretty long and we got pretty creative. By the time we made it to our motel in New Orleans our energy kicked in! The three other girls I roomed with got quite crazy that night and we decided we would order some Papa John’s pizza. We had a good time goofing around and then remembered we needed our uniforms ironed for the next days performance. I promptly ironed my shirt and then tried it on. I then thought it would be funny to start twisting little sections of my shirt when it came to mind what it reminded me of…little kitty nipples!! I started running around the room declaring that I had 10 nipples and our whole room was in hysterics. Just then our band director knocked on our door and we got scolded for being heard all the way down the hall and to the elevator. It was hard for us to calm down after that, but we managed. The next day on the bus we were on our way to our river boat cruise where we all were wearing our band uniforms (white polo shirts and khaki shorts). Since our band director was still a little upset with us about the prior nights mishap he also mentioned that we needed to be quiet and curtious in our rooms at night, since last night he heard a group of un-named girls being rowdy. We all hid our faces and rushed off the bus once it parked. While on our cruise I was standing at the rear of the boat when I turned around and to my horror I had a little “surprise”. Since it was such a humid time and we had all gotten a little sweaty, my 10 nipples reappeared on my white polo shirt. Since a couple other rooms of high schoolers had heard us they immediately knew who the girl was that shouted about having 10 nipples…it was quiet shy ME!!! I had never been so red in my face before. Now we look back and laugh at the story, but the fact that even my band director still recalls me as being the one to shout about 10 nipples is quite embarassing!! (OH, I also forgot to mention that we were all totally in awww with the handsomeness of our young band director, he resembled Rob Lowe)
Well, not as good as some of the above, but we’ll all do a lot for some fat quarters, evidently!
When I was in design school, our classroom was lined with full length windows that faced the main street here in Pittsburgh. Folks could virtually look over our shoulder as we worked, as our backs were to them and our drafting tables faced the street. It was the early 70’s, and my miniskirts were mighty mini. But, hey, I was a design major! I was cool!
So, I’m standing at my drafting board, being cool, when the elastic on my slip gives out and my slip falls to the floor in front of a group of folks standing at the bus stop.
Ms. Cool that I was, I could not bear (or should I say bare!)to turn and face the street. I subtlely scooped up my slip and popped it in my purse.
OK, this is hard to even believe, but it is true.
On my wedding day, my husband had to say his vows first. We had decided to learn and recite them. Every time he looked at me, he got the “deer in the headlights” look of fear. Of course, the priest is no help because he was suppose to learn them, and the priest has no copy to show him. So, I whisper his lines to him and he finally says them. Phew!! We all breathe a sigh of relief at the front there. For a minute I thought he was going to bolt.
But no, here comes the embarrassing part. Then, it was my turn to say my lines. Loud and bold as can be I start in….. “I, Steven Robert. (Oh, no!! I did not just shout that out!)” Yes, I did and the whole audienece of guests was laughing hugely.
I thought, OK, this isn’t so bad, laugh with them. I was so grateful I did not hire a videotaper.
But, I was not to be spared. Friends of my parents VIDEOTAPED the WHOLE service as a surprise wedding gift. Thanks. Just what I want to see each anniversary. My humiliation is enjoyed by my children every time it is shown.
ah ah ah very funny! my husban is a huge fan of the trilogy too. Thanks for giving me some ideas!!! đ
Visit my blog, ok? I’d love to recieve you there!
uh oh last night I posted my embarrassing moments but have now been corrected by my husband…nice to know he remembers my knickers story…sheer embarrassment must have put it to the back of my brain
When I worked in the city I tried to go to the gym in my lunchbreaks…it was always packed full of officeworkers…I’d always put a new towel and clothes in my bag every day…..I always started on the treadmill and on this day started to walk, put my towel over the handrail only to notice something drop out and move along the treadmill behind me…..what were they I thought…only to discover my undies on the back of the treadmill for everyone on equipment behind me to see. I quickly picked them up, wrapped them in my towel and resumed my walk and then quickly ducked off to the changerooms to slip them back in my locker! I was too embarrassed to tell anyone in the office till weeks later!
Happy Birthday Heather! This is such a great topic! I’ve had so much fun reading everyone’s stories.
I think I experienced the most moments of embarrassment when I was a Junior in college studying abroad in Japan. I was living with a host family and trying desperately to adjust to a new language and culture. I remember on my first weekend there they took me to a park to have a barbque party. Sometime during the day I needed to use the restroom and was directed toward the public bathrooms. I got there to discover my first encounter with a traditional Japanese style toilet – aka a sqatter toilet set in the ground. I was completely at a loss on how to use the toilet without peeing all over myself. I managed to contort around in the filthy stall, carefully slipping one foot out of my tennis shoe and pulling out a leg from my jeans and underpants, doing the deed, and then again carefully reinserting leg into clothing and then shoe all the while attempting not to make contact with the floor that showed evidence of others who had struggled with aiming. I felt pretty proud of myself for handling that one.
Then the next weekend they decided to take me to an “onsen” (that’s a public bath where people go to soak in hot tubs – NAKED). I was very much NOT ready to go naked in to the tubs with people I had just met, especially as I was the only foreigner there. However my family refused to let this important tourism opportunity slide and dragged me against my will into the women’s side of the room to check it out. So there I stood completely dressed trying to avert my eyes from all the fleeing naked Japanese women who were confronted by the sudden appearance of a “gaijin” (foreigner) in there midst. I felt like a horrible voyeur. Not my proudest moment.
Another exciting bathroom moment was when I was at my host family’s house using the toilet, had just stood up and was in mid-wipe when my host father banged open the door and stood staring at my naked booty. He quickly apologized and slammed the door shut. I was happy with letting this be the end of it but he made sure to bring up the incident the next day at lunch in front of my host mother and their three young children to make sure that I was “okay.”
There are probably a hundred more stories from when I was there but I thought I’d just share a few.
Hope you have a wonderful birthday!
Happy Birthday!
During a marathon job interview day where several people interviewed me separately, I asked to use the restroom before meeting with the CFO. Well, I dunked my skirt in the commode as I was standing up to leave the stall. I rinsed out the skirt but they only had paper towels, no hand dryer, so I sat on a wet skirt for the entire nerve-wracking interview.
I got the job anyway.
I can’t believe you’re so crafty that you’ll even make something out of the hair from your hairbrush. Now that is TOO funny!!!!
When I was in 5th grade, me and my best friend Sharon were sharing a seat in the school bus on the way to school. It was winter so we had gloves and jackets. I was starting to get car (or bus) sick and felt like I needed to throw up. I informed Sharon of my feelings. She immediately became frightened and sat on her feet in a ball next to the window.
My feeling got worse and worse until I finally blew. I was too embarrassed to really know what to do so I figured I would just throw up in my hands (with my gloves on) and catch it all. Well, it was much too much for that. I covered my mouth with my gloves and spewed. It came out the cracks in my fingers like a fire hose.
The whole time I’m throwing up, Sharon is making a huge scene. She is panicking and we are both laughing hysterically the WHOLE time I’m throwing up!!!!
As we exit the bus, the bus driver reprimands us once again for making too much noise on the bus. I’m too embarrassed to tell him. I just put my gloves in my jacket and zip up all day!!!!!!!! How gross!!!!!!!
First, Happy Birthday! Second, you’ve got a lot of reading to do girl! Third, here’s my story:
Close to twenty years ago I used to spend almost every weekend with my cousin Jess & her family at their home in the country – she was the country mouse, I the city mouse. Anyway,when her folks bought the country house, it was a real money pit, quite the fixer-upper, so they were always doing renovations to it. Where I lived in the city, there was a relatively large home improvement store (we’re talking pre home depot and loews, so, it was much smaller but not as small as a local hardware store.) The entrance and the exit were right next to each other, and the cash registers are right there at the entrance/exit as well. So, my cousin and I had spent the weekend together, I packed my bag and settled into her parents’ back seat with her and my bag beside me ready for them to take me home. While driving, they announce that they are stopping at The Somerville Lumber (the hardware store I mentioned above) for some things. We pull up and all get out of the car, and proceed to walk into the store. Right at the entrance, in front of the busy cashiers, my uncle turns to me and says, “Helena, are you planning on wearing your underware on your shoe the entire time we are in this store?” He’s keeled over, red-faced, hysterically laughing. I was like “what?” and he pointed to my sneaker, and sure enough underware from my bag had fallen out and attached itself to the velcro on my sneaker. I was eleven years old and wanted to DIE! I took it off my shoe, shoved it into my pocket and proceeded through the store HORRIFIED! I never use velcro on any of my projects – ever!
Well, I was going to tell my story, but I think everyone’s got me beat. There are already a few barfing stories and they’re better than mine, so I’ll stay quiet on that front.
I just wanted to say that my favorite story here was the snart — I’m still giggling at that, even after reading the rest.
Have a wonderful birthday and thank you so much for your wonderful blog — you are lovely and lively and I truly appreciate the time and energy you put into it. Thank you.
My now seven year old is an accomplished liar.. ah, storyteller. She is so convincing and has been practicing this art for many years. When she was four years old she was in preschool and would always tell the preschool teachers that she was starving and that I hadn’t given her breakfast. I had to explain several times that I had of course given her breakfast. It wasn’t the teachers that so much embarassed me as the other parent volunteers who would always tell me what Miss C had told them about not getting breakfast. I tried to laugh it off, but it was hard to not feel that my daughter was tattling on me.
I used to wear a bun in my hair while dating my husband 12 years ago. One evening in college, walking down to the commons together, he squeezed my bun and I farted at the same time.
He hasn’t let it go, and I don’t wear buns in my hair anymore. I’m looking forward to the premiere of your Trash Ties! đ
Happy Birthday!
Nothing too exciting, but when I was in HS, we took a trip to Disney to perform in the parade (marching band – I was a baton twirler). One day we went to a water park. This was in the late 80s and those bandeaux top bikinis were popular, and I was wearing one. I went down a slide on my stomach face first (they insisted that was the only way to go) and at the bottom the surge of water that hit me forced my top down. I could not seem to pull it up while under water and had to settle for a bunch of guys staring while I redressed myself in the bottom pool.
Waiting for the bus as a child a few blocks from my house – a bird flies past and poops on my head – I have no way of cleaning it until I get to where I’m going (no tissues on me) and add to that I go and put my hand straight in it! I was mortified! Playing on the monkey bars in the school playground a few before the bus incident and a bird flies past and poops on my head – my friends all saw it! What is it with me and bird poop?
When I was teaching preschool, we were talking about characteristics of monkeys and how monkeys were different from people. One of the little boys shouted out “People have tails in front and monkeys have tails in back!” I had to pull him aside later with his parents and explain that his “boy parts” were not a tail and were where they were supposed to be.
I hope this gives you a laugh. Happy birthday, Heather. May all you wishes come true on your magical day.
After I had given birth to my daughter, my husband left to go with her to the nursery for her bath, etc. I was left alone in the room and suddenly realized that the IV fluids I had been pumped full of had all made their way to my bladder. But I was still attached to all kinds of machinery and couldn’t figure out how to undo myself. I thought I would page a nurse, but my call button had fallen behind my bed, as far from reach as the bathroom. I could reach the phone, though, and tried to call the front desk of the hospital using the number printed on the phone. After a billion rings, they answered and patched me through to the maternity nurses. I asked for a nurse, but she didn’t come, and didn’t come, and I was desperate, so I tried to get out of bed myself. My poor epidural wobbly legs held me up, but I couldn’t untangle myself quickly enough, and I peed. All over myself, and the floor and the bed, and everything. Just then John and the nurse come back in with my baby, and all I can do is cry or laugh. So of course I choose to cry. Hysterically. While I’m being unplugged by the incredibly kind nurse. It was humiliating.
Happy Birthday, Heather!
this is awful. . . having uh. . . the “runs” SUDDENLY hit you while jumping on a trampoline with four of your closest friends. Need I say more?
Wishing you a wonderful birthday Heather. I hope you have had many laughs at the preceeding posts. They are too funny for me to top! Have a great day!
I just laughed for like forty minutes reading all these! You must be having the best birthday ever. Here’s mine.
I was in chorus in 7th grade. So it’s the Holiday concert, all of us dweeby little 7th graders are up on those risers singing carols off key in front of effectively the whole world. That wasn’t even the most embarassing part. No. When the time comes to exit and we’re filing down off the risers, I’m maybe twenty paces from the steps back down to the floor, back into gangly anonymity, when magically my lovely foot stomps on the platform heel of the girl in front of me. Somehow this does not affect her in any way, but it send ME tumbling off the egde of the stage, where I pretty much land on (ON) the dear woman accompanying us on the piano. Afterwards, my mother would tell me that if it were her, she woulda pretended she fainted. But does little seventh grade Erin have that kind of forsight? Of course not. I know that somehow, there but for the grace of God, I got up and managed to make it back to my seat. Ever the understanding family, my sister told me she was going to pretend she didn’t know me, and my parents got their kicks by telling EVERYONE, “Yeah, we call her Grace”.
Happy Birthday, HB. xo.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY!
OK – here goes:
We have five children. When our now 7yods was about three we used to “practice Mass” so they’d know how to behave. Well, Kevin was wiggling all over the place so I held him by the SHOULDERS to remind him to sit still. Apparently, this little maneuver was slightly annoying to him because he, in the midst of a very quiet and very full church, yelled at the top of his three-year-old lungs, “YOU’RE HURTING MY P*NIS!!”
At this point I frantically glanced around to make sure everyone could see I was NOT hurting his p*nis! I envisioned an outraged parishioner calling Child Protective Services and Kevin being ripped from my arms as I desperately tried to explain the situation. Then I thought, if the little stinker’s going to say things like that, CPS can have him!
I don’t have a story to share – too many to chose from. Happy Birthday – I am an 812 girl too :-).
See I knew I liked you!
I haven’t read embarrassing stories like this for awhile. Reminds me of 7th grade reading those teen magazines, laughing at others’ stories all the while secretly mortified that my stories belonged in there, too.
Two years out of high school I was shopping with my hubby (before we were married) and his best friend. This was when everyone had just started selling triangle hankerchiefs with ties to wear on your head/hair. I picked one up and told the guys I really wanted to buy one. As I put it on my head to model my cuteness they burst into uncontrollable laughter and barely managed to tell me I had put bikini bottoms on my head. My face must have been SO red! Now, 5 years later, they still tease me about it and laugh as if the darn thing was still on my head.
Happy Birthday, Heather! I just adore your fabric and am constantly trying to think of new things to make so I have an excuse to buy it. And I just love reading your blog and getting a sense of the fun chica you are, too. Here’s wishing you a wonderful year to come!
Don’t have an embarrassing story, but the 12th was my birthday too! Happy birthday to us!
I don’t know if I can top anything on here, but here goes…
I was in grade six and the school I attended didn’t have enough space. My class had to have math in the library at tables facing each other. I sat across from a guy I had crushed on for a long time and his best friend. After finishing a grueling worksheet, I leaned back on my chair. I didn’t know why they were both staring at me so hard, mouths agape, until my friend beside me whispered “…your buttons!” I looked down and realized my shirt had magically come undone and I was giving those two a private showing of my growing nubbies! I’ve never left a room as quickly as I did that day.
Hope you have a great birthday!
I don’t think I can compete…but I’m so enjoying everyone else’s embarrassing stories, the tears are just gushing out of me! So please put me in just for the random stack…and hope you’re having a happy birthday, Heather!
OK, I was in middle school in the seventies, graduated from high school in 81 and went to college in the 80s. Are there any worse years to have been a wearer of clothing? My mom went to work one halloween day dressed as me, dressed in one of my madonna-wanna-be getups.
But that’s not SO embarrassing really. The worst ones have all happened to my mom:
There was the time she was in Trader Joe’s and they were playing some really upbeat music and mom was sort of dancing and singing while shopping. Seeing another woman doing the same, mom tapped her on the shoulder and said something along the lines of isn’t this music great?? Well, the woman was a little surprised, as it turns out she hadn’t been dancing, but had Parkinson’s.
Another time, mom went into the backyard to water a plant, wearing only her underwear, and the self-locking door shut all the way behind her. A relative lived kitty-corner from her, so she wrapped a curtain from the alley around her and walked to his house for help. He wasn’t home. So she walked another block to the home of a client, knocked on their door, interrupted the family breakfast, and explained her predicament…
they walked with her back to her home, mom still wrapped just in a curtain, and their young child was small enough to get in the house through an open window and open the door.
We have no shortage of stories like this, and since my mom and I now live together, I promise if I win, half of the fabric goes to her.
My major embarrassment occurred sophmore year in high school.
I was in the girls room, doing my business which normally was done at home. For some reason, one girl kicked the stall door and it flew open. There were 100 people in the bathroom (it seemed like) and everyone saw me hovering over the bowl. For many months afterward, I was showered with tootsie rolls…they were in my locker, on my desk, everywhere!
It was horrifying for a teenage girl!
Happy Birthday!
My most embarrasing moment was in high school.
I was a cheerleader on a co-ed squad. It was the first year my school had had a co-ed squad, so we were pretty excited to have guys to stunt with.
Well, for our half-time routine, we had the guys come out and stunt with us. We had the cutest outfits with short little “skater skirts” and tops to match.
My mom was so excited about our big performance that she starched my skirt for me.
In the final pyramid of the dance, my stunting partner picked me up and lifted me over his head to sit on his shoulders. As he did so, my skirt was so stiff that it didn’t slide over his head, but instead stayed over his head covering his face and leaving his head up my skirt. In front of an entire gym full of people.
I still get grief for it when I go home!
When I was 5 and in kindergarden I went to the “potty” which was a VERY LARGE room inside our class room (at least it seemed so back then) I made a squeek and liked the echo so I began hooting and then hooted a little tune. When I opend the door back into the class room they ALL clapped and I was pink from head to toe for days each time everyone made a little hoot to remind me.
Wowza! You have a serious butt-load of comments to sift through missy! I’m kinda like you in that I can’t quite remember an embarrassing moment (especially not one worthy of the title of “the most hysterically- horrible embarrassing story ever told”). I think I just shake them off and try not to remember them. With all that being said, let me just add another HAPPY BIRTHDAY wish to the list! *B
HapptyBirthday, and here’s a story for you!
(I actually emailed this last night at 11:45, but so as everyone can share in on the embarrassment!)
Upon returning back to the dorms late one night during my freshman year in college I was dared to moon the girls on the inside of the building. There was this one window that was nearly level to the ground and also the common area’s window. So I head over and pull down my pants, rear hanging out. And no one sees! My friend encourages me to knock on the window, I do. I didn’t knock, I pounded on that window, and as I take a step there was no window. I fall through the open space, falling about 4 feet backwards onto a sofa chair filled with shattered glass. My rear is still hanging out of my pants at this moment when tons of people exit their rooms to see what all the noise was about. “What? Happened?” they all ask. My response: “I was just trying to moon you guys but no one was paying attention.” At this moment I look at my hand and notice a lot of bleeding, and then realize my butt stings. “I think I might need stitches….and my butt hurts a little.” I am still sitting on a pile of glass when my friends help me up and pull my pants up for me. After waiting for 2 hours in the ER, I got 9 stitches in my hand and a huge band aid on my rear. And I had to pay for the window! Yet to this day I wonder if the pounding caused the glass to break, or was it my big ‘ol rear end?
I love these stories.. what a great idea.
My first story I think was probably more embaressing for my Mother than for me. When I was in kindergarden my Mom let me dress my self one morning. I had forgotten something at home so she came back to school to bring it to me. At that time we were in story time, all of the class sitting criss-cross applesauce. Much to her dismay I was sitting in the circle facing the door with a skirt on, and no underwear!
ANother one is when I was about 16, there was a girl who had a long blue Buick and used to pick me up for school. She didn’t show up at the normal time one day. So I started walking to the bus instead. While I was on my way down the block I saw a long blue Buick going very slow along side me. They stopped. I couldn’t see who was inside so I assumed it was my friend. I walked up to the passenger side door and opened it up to get in. When I opened the door I saw an old woman driving and her son in the passenger side who went to my highschool! Then she started saying loud things in polish, he smirked. So I sheepishly said sorry, closed the door and returned to the sidewalk.
Wow! I always thought I had some pretty embarrassing stories, but I can’t compare with some of these!
My absent-mindedness is to blame for most of my most embarrassing moments. There have been several times that I ended up at work with my skirt on backwards, or my blouse inside-out or wearing two different dress shoes. I was a Jr. High teacher for 10 years, and the students were always very quick to notice these things!
Love your blog!
Whoa! You have a lot of stories to read! đ Just wanted to say Happy Birthday!
In high school I performed in our school musical presentation of Grease. I was one of the backup singers, and during the performance to the elementary schools, we were in the middle of the locker-room scene (not in the movie) and I was doing my groovy dancing-and-singing thing, and all of a sudden my “costume” (by which I mean only a towel) fell right off! Naturally I completely froze, clutching the towel. It just drew more attention to me. People are still mentioning it, especially because I’m the sort of person that doesn’t have these sorts of moments.
Happy Birthday Heather! I’m a Heather too.
My most embarrassing story: Years ago, my boyfriend’s brother (only 15 at the time) walked in on my boyfriend and I *uh* in the throws. I didn’t notice at the time but my boyfriend saw his brother’s shocked face as he high-tailed it out the door. He told me later and I couldn’t look at his brother for weeks. I was mortified. Everytime I saw him I was reminded that he had seen the twins! I don’t know who it was more embarrassing for: me, my boyfriend, or his brother! I still turn red each time I’m reminded of this embarrassing moment.
~Heather R.
So… my embarrassing story is as follows. In high school I was really into musical theater and was part of a group that put on revues of musical theater works. We had an up coming show and I had gotten up the courage to ask my super cute swim coach to come watch me sign and he just so happened to say he’d come. I was ecstatic for a couple days and then completely forgot that he’d be there. So, day of the show my first solo went off without a hitch, but trouble struck when I started the second song. The first two words came out and then my mind was blank. I couldn’t think of a single word and just had to hum and look pitifully over at the pianist who got the message. After the show, I was bright red with embarrassment when my coach came up to me and told me what a great job I did. Yeah right! Completely forgetting all the words, now that is embarrassing!
Oh, in my rush to tell my story I forgot….
Happy birthday to you, happy birthday to you, happy birthday dear Heather, happy birthday to you. and many more!
ps I love your new fabric line.
Happy Birthday Heather-
My most embarrassing moment happen when I was a new mom my oldest daughter was about two weeks old, and some clients of my husband had stopped by to see her. I was rocking her in my arms and talking when she projectile vomited right into my mouth, hair and and all down my pants. I had to put her down on the couch and run for the bathroom. I was so stunned and embarrassed I did know what to say after that. She is six now, but that story still grosses me out!
I just wanted to say I got NOTHING done today. I kept coming back to my computer to see what people were posting and laughing my head off. I sure hope this tapers off tomorrow, hubby would really like some clean undershorts. đ
I hope your birthday was filled with fun and laughter and ice cream!!
Hi Heather!
I have a juicy good one! heehee Happy birthday!!
In high school I was in the choir and for Christmas we were doing a concert for the entire student body. At the beginning of the concert we were to walk down the aisles holding candles while singing. We then made a formation on the stairs and finished the concert. At the end we were supposed to turn and walk up the steps and stand on the stage and the curtain would close in front of us. I am very short and was in the front row. As it was my rows turn to go up the stairs my heel got caught on the hem of my dress and I fell face flat on the stairs. My dress flipped up over my head exposing my bottom to the student body. As I heard the laughter begin to erupt I began to panic. I scrambled to get quickly up the stairs and catch up with the rest of my row but it was too late! The curtain had already been drawn! I tried and tried to find the opening in the curtain but couldn’t! I finally had to get down on my stomach and slither underneath! It was so humiliating. The entire school was laughing. So yep, that was the most embarrasing moment I think I have ever had!
happy birthday! and here goes… it happened when my daughter was a new born and i was nursing. i decided to dash out to do some errans – one of which was to return a movie. as i was dropping off the movie i ran into a male friend of my parents. of course he wanted to ask about the new baby. so we were talking when i noticed he looked down at my chest. so casually, i glanced down to see my breasts were leaking milk all over my shirt!
Ok I have another just for kicks, these have been too fun to read! LOL!
While my husband and I were dating I went with his whole family swimming one day. My brother in law was a friend of mine from high school and he brought his other friend. I had to borrow a swimsuit because I had forgotten mine. So I was swimming and having a wonderful time doing flips and such. I swam to where my brother in law and his friend were and started talking to them. Then I did another flip and began talking to them some more. I noticed they were acting really funny and avoiding eye contact. All of the sudden my brother in law leaned down and said “You might want to check yourself.” I looked down and my whole boob was out of the swim suit just floating there for all to see! I was horrified and ran crying into the bathroom. I just could not believe it!
Oh, I’ve got another one (or 3) here – in addition to the one from yesterday morning at 3.29am.
When I was pregnant I had a nice little bump which was very neat. But I lost all sense of special awareness when it came to the bumpâŚ.
CAUGHT IN CAR PARK
My husband drove into a car park space at Tescos. It was a bit of a squeeze but he just about managed it. I was a good 7 months pregnant. The car beside us had reversed in so our cars were bonnet to boot, with our wing mirror touching the other carâs boot, and his, ours.
Anyway, I got out of the car, just. And walked towards our boot, expecting to have to squeeze past the other cars wing mirror a tad. But I couldnât go any further. The wing mirror was blocking my exit.
So I had to get back in the car, my hubby reversed the car out of the space, I got out, he drove back into the space, got out, and we practically peed ourselves laughing. I spent the best part the last 2 months of my pregnancy, getting out of the car BEFORE he parked it.
HELLO, MY NAME IS BUMP
I spent many an evening commute home on the London Underground poking people with my pregnancy bump. The bump wasnât exclusively reserved for the Underground. Oh no. She liked to meet people while standing in queues at the shop, or on the bus, or in the canteen, or walking down a busy street etc⌠You see where Iâm going with this? Needless to say my bump and I made lots of friends, albeit inadvertently.
TRAPPED IN TOILET
The college I worked at when pregnant had a separate building for the information and advice section. It was a fairly good size satellite office but the girls had to share one toilet. The toilet roll holder was one of those huge industrial efforts, which hung on the wall and stuck out about 6 inches (well maybe 4 inches but whoâs counting).
Anyway, I managed to get into the loo ok, close the door behind me and sit on the toilet seat. But I had terrible trouble getting up off the toilet, as the loo roll thingy was above my bump.
I was stuck for a brief moment, and eventually manoeuvred past it and out of the loo. But my boss and the girls did have a laugh at my expense.
Thankfully she was a kind boss lady, and had the loo roll thing removed for the remainder of my pregnancy!
Happy Birthday, Heather! I’m so glad you asked for embarrassing stories – these are hilarious! I’ll add mine to the mix:
It was a beautiful summer day and hubby and I went to visit his parents, only to find them relaxing in the backyard. After they greeted us, they invited us to “pull up a chair”. His dad grabbed an old aluminum lawn chair for me – the kind with the wide seat & back and bent metal tubing legs. As I slowly sank against the cool metal, I felt my world begin to shift. The legs bent, causing the back of the seat to hit the ground (hard!), leaving my feet high above my head, which was in a pile of grass and leaves! Because of the arm rests on the sides, the only way out of my predicament was to throw my legs over my head and roll out backwards!
To this day, they still ask me if I’m going to perform gymnastics for them when we visit. đ
Happy Birthday
My most embarrasing moment must have been when I was 17. We lived in a pub that had a spiral staircase leading to a restuarant upstairs (that was now our lounge). Any way one particular sunday I awoke after a heavy night on the night before… I was very dehydrated and so made my way down the spiral stairs to go and rehydrate. In my (very)short nighty I got half way down the stairs and realised that it wasn’t 10:30 in the morning as I had thought, but 2:30 in the afternoon. The pub was packed with patrons there for their sunday lunch. Every one under or near the stairs got an eye full. I turned and ran, not to mention that I didn’t venture into the bar for quite a few days. My mum informed quite a few people came back regulaly, either to take the p**s or for a preview…
Hi, Heather!
First things first . . . Happy birthday to you!
I just discovered your blog about a month or so ago and have been quite the faithful follower since. Before I proceed with my giggle of a story, may I say just how awesome a designer you are. Your style in design, blog writing, etc, is so artful and quite unparalleled, really. It is safe to say I am extremely glad to have happened upon your site. Thank you so much for adding a bit of beauty and elegance to my days . . .
Now, on to my embarrassingly “funny story,” which I hope will help to put a smile in your heart and give you a kick for the day. All I can say is it was not “funny” at the time, but looking back…yikes! I apologize for the lengthy writing in advance, however, I think you will get a chuckle out of the story. Enjoy.
Years back, I was a single mom with my first daughter. I am proud to say I am now a mom of four, three girls and one boy. Back then, as a single mom, I was a nurse working full time on the night shift (10:30 p.m. – 7:30 a.m.). Needless to say, I did my major sleeping during the day hours while my daughter was at school; however, on the day of the mishap, sleep was not on the agenda for me. The unfortunate incident took place on one Christmas Eve. I had worked the night before and arrived home at approximately 8:30 a.m. on that particular Eve. I was quite tired, however, had some major last minute shopping, wrapping, gift deliveries, etc. to complete by that evening. At about 9:30 a.m. I head out the door to one of the shopping malls nearby. My gift list was quite lengthy. As I shopped, my legs moved so fast and I accumulated mounds of shopping bags quickly. It is safe to say I was a flustered sight to be seen. Keeping in mind I had not slept the night before, this scenario continued for hours.
I entered LIberty House, which has since transitioned to Macy’s. They had two main escalators in the middle of the department store, one traveling up and the other down. I frequented this store hundreds of times (no kidding!), and the one on the right always went up and the left, down. The whole process was automatic, and I did not even have to think or look to get on the correct escalator. I could proceed with my eyes closed and get to where I needed to go with these escalators. Well, talk is big.
Picture the following. Moving like a little tornado, I had multiple large, heavy shopping bags hanging from my arms as I stepped foot on to the escalator on the right to go up to the second floor. It took but a second for me to realize I must have had too heavy a load for as soon as I stepped onto the escalator, my legs were having to work so hard to get acclimated to the rhythm (did not want to fall and look like a fool!). My legs were working so hard as my knees were literally bending up high to my upper waist area, almost to my chest. How ridiculous was this? Within seconds I was huffing and puffing. I was in such rush mode I did not even think twice about what was occurring. I just kept pushing along with my legs doing high bends like a marching wind up toy soldier, all the while struggling with my bags. This is all happening within seconds as I am concentrating on my walking, breathing and trying to maintain all my shopping bags, not focusing on anything else around me. Well, as I proceeded with my unexplainable struggling, I managed to look up just at the right moment as a young couple was pushing themselves aside to make room for me and my load as they were coming down that very escalator. It took but a split second for me to realize what was happening. I was going “up” on the “down” escalator. I was so surprised I could not say anything but a simple “I’m sorry.” They looked at me as though I was crazy, especially the gal. They did not laugh or even smile at the very least. I was so embarrassed to the point I could not even turn around to go back down to get on the correct escalator. To make matters worse, I just kept trudging on up, adding salt to the wound. As luck would have it, there were a couple more individuals coming down with me, this big blob of a shopping bag mess, in their path. Again, I was so embarrassed, and the only thing I could come up with while marching and panting was, “Oh, don’t mind me, I do this for the exercise.” What?! Oh, my gosh! If only I had been more attentive and realized they did a switch of the elevators that day, the first in years. Needless to say, I took the elevator, not the escalator, back down. I felt safe going that route.
I do not know why I have such “luck” with escalators. Back in high school, there was one incident when I had a floor-length dress on as I traveled on an escalator going down. As I stepped off, my dress got caught. I pulled and tugged and my dress tore big time. The end result was me walking around with a dress very short in the back, longer in the front with extremely jagged edges and a bunch of strings hanging. I received many stares. I also needed to take the bus that day. I just wish I had a car ride so I could hide. This, too was a very embarrassing day, but for me, the Christmas Eve incident was far worse.
I hope you enjoyed the little mishap of a story. Again, I apologize for being so wordy. I hope I helped to add some silly sunshine to your day. Again, thank you again for this fun opportunity to let loose, but more importantly, for being such a wonderful inspiration for many individuals out there. Keep up the excellent work!
Happy Birthday Heather!
As for embarassing stories — there are so many it’s hard to choose. And frankly, after so many moments — you get over being embarassed :0). Hope you had a great day!
Okay, all this has triggered yet another embarrassing memory, but since I already posted, this one won’t count – I’m just having a great laughing day (I was telling hubby about some of these & started cracking up all over again)…
anyway…when I was 13, I, my younger sister & mom were invited to a wedding (my best friend’s sister) I was set to wear a pretty fitted dress made by my brother’s girlfriend & it was very short like the style was in 1973. I must’ve put on the pantyhose & gotten a run or something – we never had enough of anything in our home & we were already running late, my mom notorious for that…so we are all yelling & I said we have to stop at the drug store for pantyhose! “Not enough time!” “I can’t go in without them!” So, we roar off to the store & my sister & I jump out of the car, run in & grab a pair of pantyhose. We roar off again & I am tearing the hose out of the package & getting ready to put them on when *shock* they are not pantyhose they are nylons – the thigh high thingys that need a garter belt & all that stuff I never used…this was long before the kind that stayed up on their own. I had no choice but to put them on & try to hold them in place with the palms of my hands. This was a church & proper time & all, it was unheard of to not have pantyhose on (or maybe it was all in my head being 13…lol) Our plan was for us to get thru the ceremony & then my sister & I would race downstairs & she would give me hers. Now the bad part…we get to the wedding – late, of course & there is NO WHERE to sit. We stand at the back & I am sweating (it’s August no a/c) the nylons are sliding all over & down…they are saying their vows & then the usher who noticed how strangely contorted I was found a place for us to sit – several rows up! Now, I had to walk like that girl from Seinfeld who didn’t swing her arms, hunched over while the backs of the nylons were falling down past my short dress!! There was no way for people not to notice.
I was told later that the groom had fainted at the altar! Who knew? I didn’t – I was too busy & trying not to myself! oh lordy…I put myself thru that odd drama…lol. đ
Happy, Happy Birthday, Heather!
Firstly Happy birthday Heather. Wishing you health and happiness and of course horribly large pieces of birthday cake.
A man came to our front door to make a delivery.
As he spoke he turned away from me so I commented;
âIâm sorry I didnât hear what you said, thatâs quite a frog you have in your throat thereâ:
(I think that might be Aussie vernacular, it means his voice was croaky!)
He turned back toward me, COVERED THE HOLE IN THE FRONT OF HIS THROAT and said:
âIâve come to deliver your plasterboard,â in a mechanical sounding voice.
I excused myself and ran and hid, leaving my husband to accept the delivery.
Thinking about this still makes me blushâŚ
AH! Uou already have so many stories;)
Just to wish you a happy birthday… and say it’s so lovely you are giving these slices on this day!
Perfect!
Want to wish you a very Happy Birthday!
You sure do work magic in making beautiful fabric and your great blog! Thank you for sharing so much!
I am going to try for the random draw…
I can’t believe how many stories you have to go through! And since you have so many, I’m going to add mine to it. You’re SOOO welcome!
So there I was, making myself a pot of homemade chicken soup when my watch decided to join the soup. Evidently, my watch band wasn’t built to hold watches. So my friend and I got up early the next morning to go to this new sports store that had just been built. We both had to go to work and thought we’ll just go before. I was in the mood for a velcro band this time. I know, the 90’s and their CRAZY styles. Anyway, we had to ride by the store on the subway and as we did we saw this group of people just standing outside the front door waiting to go in. So we thought, there must be this amazing sale that is going on and only the people dumb enough to be up that early are going to get the good stuff. So we jumped off the train and ran over there as fast as we could to be able to go in at the same time. Just as we walked up, they opened the doors. I quickly noticed that everyone was decked out in their outdoor gear. And here we were, in casual business suits. And then as we got to the doors to go inside, we saw the man holding the doors open, yelling at everyone to “look excited, keep looking around and DON’T LOOK AT THE CAMERA!!” Apparently, we had walked in with the group shooting a commercial for the store! We got half way into the store and then we hear, “Who is that? What are they doing? How did they get in here?” As we figured out what we had just done, we turned around and got out fast. As we were leaving though, the ‘guy in charge’ did tell us to come back next week to pick up our checks!
I work in advertising, and was in a meeting with one of my favorite clients. It was Valentine’s Day, and I asked our client (Ken), if he had sent flowers to his wife. He said, “Ohhh, no. She wouldn’t really like flowers.” And because we had a good, joshing sort of relationship, I entered into a little banter – I said, “Oh now, Ken, that’s YOUR excuse. Your wife would LOVE flowers! All women love flowers! Unless you’re married to a stoic Amish woman or something, she would LOVE to get flowers.” (Now, I’ll have you know, I even did a mental calculation when I said “stoic Amish” that my odds here of offending would be slim.)
I saw my client and account supervisor exchange a glance and a smirk or three, but didn’t think anything of it. Eventually, my part of the meeting was done, and I returned to my office. Ten minutes later, my account supe appeared in my doorway & told me he needed to talk to me. And then he doubled over in laughter. It took another five minutes, while he was gasping and crying and laughing to the point of physical pain, but indeed, my client’s wife WAS AMISH. Her family had left the church when she was a child, because they wanted to give their children a different upbringing, and so she had grown up and married MY CLIENT and I had just flippantly joked that there was no way he was married to a stoic Amish woman. To say I was mortified – despite all the laughter these two men had been having – was an understatement. I was assured and reassured he was not offended – after all, it was never my intent to do so, and in fact had provided them with the biggest chortle of the day, but I returned to the conference room to apologize with cheeks a-blazin’, and was at least somewhat reassured that my favorite client was not angry or offended in the least. I then proceeded to deal with the long-term aftermath of jokes – being photoshopped into a bonnet, having to refute that in the re-telling I was quoted as calling his wife a FRIGID Amish woman, notes being left on my desk, inquiring about where the good Amish towns were, etc., etc., and even now, while I admit it has it’s humor, I am still able to feel that narrow river of mortification inside me! And I learned that no matter how obscure, we can never be 100% sure that our idea of far-fetched isn’t actually going to be the truth!
In high school I participated in a 3 week exchange program and got to go to Russia. The flight was going to be long so I decided to change my clothes in the airplane’s miniscule restroom. (We had gone to school that morning so I couldn’t wear my comfy clothes and risk my crush seeing me.) I got in the bathroom and managed to get undressed down to my underwear when I lost my balance. I put my hand against the door to brace myself. Unfortunately I hadn’t shut the door correctly and proceeded to fall out of the bathroom into the arms of an old man, who by instinct tried to catch me. Of course he got his hands off me quickly when he saw/felt my delicate state. I have never seen a man’s go from white to a deep shade of red so fast in my life. I now triple check airplane restroom doors even if I am not changing my clothes.
I was 16. At my school, we had to eat lunch family style. I was thrilled to learn that this week I would be seated with Dan, the not-so-secret love of my life/crush. I think by that point, I’d been “in love” with him for a good 8 years.
Anyway, I was one of the last ones in my class to have braces. I also had a very complicated head gear and about 5 rubberbands in my mouth. Thankfully, I didn’t have to wear the headgear to school but I did have all 5 rubberbands in my mouth, one of which went diagonally across the front of my mouth from top to bottom.
I usually remembered to remove all of them BEFORE I got to the lunch room but for some reason, that day I forgot. Horror of horrors, Dan sat down next to me.
Of course I was thrilled beyond belief but then I realized that I had to get those rubberbands out of my mouth fast! I turned to my right (Dan was on my left) while I discreetly tried to remove them. At that moment, Dan tenderly (at least that’s how I remember it) tapped me on my left shoulder to ask me a question. Excited, I swung my head to the left and in that very moment, the rubberband popped out of my mouth and lay hanging in my hair, right…before…his…eyes.
Dan was sweet and didn’t laugh histerically but I could tell he knew and thought it was pretty funny. Greg, his sidekick, noticed as well and just grinned, trying to conceal his laughter.
I was mortified and to this day I consider it my most embarassing moment.
My husband and I were talking with some friends at church when a man walked up, handed me a pair of underwear, and said “I think you forgot these.”
You can only imagine how many colors of red my face was, and my mind was reeling. When did I leave my underwear at his house? Why did I take my underwear off at his house?!
Long story short, turns out that I left them in luggage that I borrowed from his brother-in-law.
Happy Birthday Heather! My embarassing story is as follows. My husband and I were invited to a friend’s wedding in a church in small village. We had never been to this village before and got lost on our way there so we were a bit late. We rushed into the church and sat down. I looked around and whispered to my husband that I didn’t see anyone I recognized. I was hoping a few friends from school would be there. I couldn’t even spot the groom’s family! The music started and the wedding party began to assemble…and it was not our friend standing at the alter. We had rushed into the wrong church! After the bride walked down the aisle, we tried to sneak out as inconspicuously as possible, but of course there were a few strange looks! I wanted to crawl out. We ran down the street to the OTHER church in town and arrived red faced just in time for my friend’s wedding!!
Oh I have just about died laughing at these stories, what a wonderful way to start the morning! Ok my moment: When I’m not doing 3d work for my husbands company, I do my own freelance graphic and occasional fabric design. So I tend to do alot of rush lunch hour meetings where I have to run in and run out. Well, I was designing some graphics for a Christian organization here in Dallas, they have this beautiful glass lobby with all these wonderful mirrors. very classy, if your into giant reflective surfaces. anyway, I am all dressed up, in a brand new crossover ballerina type shirt, the kind that you tie closed. And as I was rushing to get back to work, (with my client and his team standing behind me) I quickly run through the glass revoling door, and suddenly get jerked to a stop. Turns out that in my rush, the side tangle of my shirt got caught in the revoling door, ripping my shirt, and pulling down my bra. So there I was, in the hall of shiney surfaces, flashing the ENTIRE lobby of the very convervative reglious organization. and the worst part, I was stuck! It was mortifing, and high-larious all at the same time. so I calmly (on the outside anyway) took of the rest of the shirt, hiked my bra back into place, yanked on the door to free my clothes and walked out of the lobby, while waving goodbye to my client, who still had a look of pure horror on his face. I had to re-dress on the walk to the car where I burst out in hysterical laughing!
def a day to remember.
Happy birthday lady! Hope you have a fantastic one.
Is it too late???
Well here goes . . . Since I don’t have a great memory I will tell my most recent embarrassing story. We just moved several hundred miles away from my husbands home town. We have lived there for three years and introduced two babies to the world there. Their Grandma, my Mother-in-law, is smitten over our girls and insisted that we get a web cam so she could see the girls everyday. Well the other morning, still nappy-headed, braless and in my morning silliness removing a wedgy in an artfully dramatic fashion (read, hiking up the leg of my already short shorts to reach my underwear. I walked into the privacy of our bedroom, where our computer is, where my MIL was on the webcam in her office with a colleague witnessing the whole mess. Why did they invent those little things, and why is it in our bedroom. Uggh.
In third grade, I decided it would be a neat idea to wear my opaque white tights (ya know, those thick kiddy panty hose) under my jeans to school. It got terribly hot, so I went to the bathroom to take off the tights. I had to go number 1 too, so all could be taken care of at once. Except that in the process, and before any flushing could take place, I dropped my jeans into the toilet. Ooops! I was mortified. I couldn’t put the pee pee jeans back on. But I couldn’t go around in tights either. I ended up waiting in the bathroom for a half an hour before the teacher brought me a pair of completely unfashionable pants that were left at the school, for probably a decade or more. That was a rough day at school… but funny now!
So mine is fresh in my head (it happened about 45 minutes ago) and is quite possibly THE most embarrassing moment in my life (so far). So yesterday I started taking Alli (http://myalli.com/) and read up on all the side effects and whatnot, felt fine last night, thought I was safe. So this morning, got ready for work, wore a pretty pretty white flowy cotton skirt. About an hour after getting here I had gas…usually, not a problem…I’m not going to say I don’t let one fly every now and then, because, really, one would explode if that were the case. All of a sudden, things felt differently. I looked around my office (no one was around –that I saw, at least) and I RAN to the bathroom and looked at the back of my skirt…yup, side effects of the diet pill were fully kicking in. AUGH! So I locked the bathroom door, took off my skirt and washed it as furiously as I could to get the stain out. I’m 25 1/2 and I messed in my pants. EWWW! So I got as much out as I could, but wearing a WHITE Cotton SKIRT (a bit see through) around until it dried wasn’t an option, so I instant messaged my manager and gave her a story that sounded like it was a period problem, not, ahem, the other one.
and I can’t believe I just wrote my embarrassing story for everyone who reads your blog (which is a TON of people, BTW).
Happy Birthday!!
HAPPY BIRTHDAY!
looks like you’ve got enough embarrassing stories to write a book, haven’t you? đ
well here goes mine…
when I was at a youth group Bible study, to break the ice, the speaker was going around and having the students pull ridiculous questions out of a hat and answer them in front of the crowd. When he randomly picks this guy, he pulled out the question “if you could pick any girl in this room to date, who would it be?”
of course they weren’t acutally thinking he would take it so seriously and NAME someone! so the guy after about 5 long minutes of squirming and gathering the courage proceeded to turn to the wall (he couldn’t face the crowd) and named me! now this was a HUGE crowd of people who all seemed to turn in unison and stare at me. i’m a pretty quiet person so this was bad!
i still get a little red thinking about it! đ
OK I got one for you. I was thirteen (that age is just enough to be embarassing anyway) and if you got to junior high early, you had to go and sit in the gym with hundreds of other early birds. It was raining one morning, I was wearing my “bitchin'” Bass flats with a miniskirt, and being the geek I was/am, had a huge stack of books (no backpack) AND my clarinet case to lug in. The coaches who monitored this area said hello to each kid as they walked in, me included. As I crossed the gym to join the group in the already overflowing bleachers, my slick bad-ass Bass flats slipped out from under me…and I landed flat on my tush, books flying everywhere, and clarinet case falling from my hands, opening, and spilling clarinet all over the gym floor.
The entire gym stopped and APPLAUDED. Then the (laughing inappropriately) coach came to help me gather my things. It. Sucked. Bad.
Needless to say, I tried not to be early to have to sit in the gym anymore. And I heard a lot of “NICE ONE!”‘s for the duration of my junior high career.
I’m 38 now. And still recovering.
I, like you donât have a whole lot of embarrassing stories from my adult life. However I do have a good one from junior high. I was in a cycling accident during gym class where I tumbled head over handle bars on my bicycle. Yes, I was actually quite banged up and required 14 stitches under my nose! I also had terrible road rash on the left side of my face where I skidded along the pavement. Picture Phantom of the Opera in scabs!!
This is just the lead up to my story â the part that is funny (because the accident wasnât â especially to my mother who almost fainted when she saw me in the hospital). The funny part as told to me by friends in absolute hysterics the following day was what happened at school after my accident. Because I was in gym class when it happened I wasnât in my âschool clothesâ. My teachers couldnât find my clothes in the change room so they announced it over the loud speaker for the entire school of 1000 kids to hear. âIf anyone has seen Jodiâs clothing could you please return it to the office immediately?â Well I could have just died then and there! Most of the kids wouldnât have heard about my accident and would have been wondering where I was naked without my clothes!
This came up time and time again, throughout my years at high school. âHas anyone seen Jodiâs Clothes?â
Like Jan, I too have snarted in class. Mine was during sex ed with my crush right infront of me. I pretended that I had just sneezed and when everyone was looking at me I was like, “what? All I did was sneeze.” Yeah, like they bought that. No one made fun of my snart for years to come as they did Jan’s. Snart… what a funny word.
My favorite embarassing story from my husband is him giving a presentation in college and then walking across campus to register for classes in a suit (for the presentation) with his fly down and tp on a cut from shaving. He though people kept staring and pointing because he looked so darn good.
I don’t embarass easily either. Mostly, if it should be embarassing, I just laugh.
BTW I like Lisa D.’s story at the Seattle Aquarium. “It’s right there, next to her checkbook.” HAHAH!
My freshman year in college and I had to give a demonstration speech. I decided it would be very cool of me to demonstrate how to wax snow skis at home. On the way to class I dropped my box of supplies, including the old iron I was going to melt the wax with. I started the speech, all going well….Pulled the wax out of my super cool ski waxing apron and put it to the iron. The iron’s thermostat had broken in the fall (super heated iron!) and there was lint stuck wax from the inside of the apron pocket and FLAMBE! Did I stop? No. Did the smoke that filled the room deter me? No! Three flaming incidents later, a very nervous instructor and my bangs, eyelashes and eyebrows were all singed. I got a B (humph).
A woman called to tell me she had found a cellphone and called the number listed as “mum”.
The phone belonged to my daughter. I thanked her for her kindness, hung up and promptly left a message on this same daughter’s phone telling her the phone was found and to call this kind woman. It took me a few minutes to realize my stupidity, and I can only imagine what this woman must have thought if she listened to that message.
oh yeah, Happy Birthday too!
Happy birthday!
Um, I’m skipping the x-rated story (don’t want that one on the internet…) and going for one when I was pregnant. I was a photographer at a fundraiser but was suffering bad morning sickness that day. Luckily there was a bathroom right behind where I had set the backdrop, lights etc. up. I was running off to throw up between clients, but it wasn’t going too badly.
Then I suddenly felt the urge to be sick again, right in the middle of a session. I take off running, throw open the bathroom door… just to discover that it was in currently in use by a lady who had forgotten to lock the door. To make matters worse, I was too sick to just apologise and run out again. Instead I proceeded to vomit in the sink located RIGHT next to the poor woman. Repeatedly. Apologising in between retching, but still… She just sat there.
So back in college I did a semester in DC interning for a prominent Congressman. I was working hard to fit in, learn the city, and prove my intellegence and work ethic to an office of veteran Hill staffers. I came to work each day with a smile on my face and gladly accepted any work thrown my way. During the second week I was there, the Chief of Staff looked at me and said, “K, run to the front door and pick up a delivery for the Congressman. He needs it before he goes into committee in 15 minutes.” Feeling happy to help, I raced down the hall and out the front doors into the pouring rain scanning the misty roads for the courier. I finally spotted him and begin making my way down the marble steps of the building when it happened… It must of been the lethal combination of rain on marble and a young girl getting used to heels, but I totally slipped on my way down the steps sliding down three steps on my butt with my skirt coming up on my way down. People around me stopped and stared and to my horror, when I I looked up I saw my Congressmen (the boss) getting out of a cab right in front of me. He graciously offered me a hand and helped me up, but after that I had a hard time looking him in the eye!
I have so many good ones, it’s hard really to narrow it down. I’ll make it one I can tell in relatively little typing.
I was 8 1/2 months pregnant with my first son and we were going to have an important work meeting at a nearby Mexican restaurant. Everyone was there before I was and I came in and, you guessed it, everyone was seated at a booth. I tried to squeeze in, but my tummy wouldn’t fit, Everyone had to pack up all their stuff and move to a table. All because of my big old belly.
Actually that seems somewhat mild now that I type it. Oh well it was embarrassing at the time. đ
Happy Birthday!
Like Isaac, I have had a long history of embarrassment. I’ll share a few with you.
1. Rich and I got married on New Year’s Eve, had a huge party, and were almost the last people to leave. We went to his parents rental house in town at around 4:00 a.m. and slept in. We were supposed to call his folks when we left for our honeymoon, so his dad could come clean up at the house.
Well, we were so tired, and we were newlyweds, so between the sleeping and not sleeping we didn’t call until around 7:00 p.m. His folks thought we had actually forgotten to call, and his dad was about to head over there anyway. It takes about a half an hour to get from his folks’ house to the rental. So we saw another opportunity to celebrate our being newly married.
Rich’s dad was used to just opening up the house, as it had been empty for some time. So, as we’re finishing up, we hear the key in the lock. I stage whispered to Rich that I couldn’t find my sweater, and the key stopped turning. We heard a very deliberate knock, knock, knock on the door.
We got ourselves arranged and said to come on in. No way, his dad waited until Rich came to the door to let him in. We had to finish packing our things and say goodbye as though nothing had happened. His dad made small talk about the painting on the wall in the dining room, and all the while Rich and I were cracking up as we passed each other in the other rooms.
2. So, two years later, we have our first son. I nursed all of our children, and at home it was often easier just to take off my top and nurse the babies in my bra. Our downstairs neighbors were moving, and we had them over for lunch as a last goodbye.
After lunch, they went back to packing and cleaning, and Rich cleaned up the kitchen and I sat down with Alexander to nurse. Topless. Max (the husband), knocked on our door asking to borrow a tool, and Rich told him (from the kitchen) to come on in and get it.
I was so flustered and there wasn’t time to say anything anyway, but poor Max was so embarrassed, and so was I! When he left, I asked Rich why he did that, when he knew I wasn’t wearing anything on top. He said he was so used to seeing me that way, that he forgot I was topless.
When Max returned the tool, he wouldn’t come in, and just left it on our front doorstep.
3. This one is more funny than embarrassing, but I thought I’d include it.
Our third son, Elijah, was in the middle of potty training. He was at that stage where he has is mostly down, but still occasionally had accidents.
Well, we were leaving our midweek home group with our church, and he was taking forever in the bathroom, and I needed to go deal with my Aunt Flo. So, I knocked and went in, helped him off the toilet, and said for him to wash hands and just wait for me to finish, and we’d go out together.
He washed his hands, and came to stand right in front of me. He saw the stain in my panties, and said “You had an accident Mommy!” I told him I hadn’t, and started to explain in toddler terms that this was how God made it so mommies could have babies, and he says “Yes, you did! I saw it!”
So, of course I came out of the bathroom just cracking up and had to explain to Rich and to our priest’s wife.
Despite the distinct feeling that I’m always embarassing myself I can never come up with one of those “most embarassing moments” when I need to … (I think denial is perhaps my very best thing … me? embarassed?) Anywhooo, I do want to wish you a very happy birthday and of course I’d love to win some of your awesome fabric
Here is one of my many “most embarrassing moments”…
My husbands’ family has a cabin in the woods that they regularly update. Several years ago we made a trip out to the cabin shortly after the first round of major changes since I had become a visitor. On the first day there, we were sitting outside for lunch and I decided to go in for something from the fridge. Others had come in and gone out while I was there and when I was ready to head back outside, I unknowlingly walked right through the newly installed screen door – and knocked it right out of it’s track! This was in front of his entire family (not a small one at all) and only my second or third trip to the cabin and seeing the family. Fortunately, they have a great sense of humor!!!
I lost a whole bunch of weight in college, I was wearing way too big pants walking down the street in front of RISD and BAM pants fall down to expose my day of the week undies which were not the correct day.
I have other embarrassing stories from when I worked at an adult video store but umm those are far from PG and I usually only tell people who ask because I wouldn’t want to put those images in the heads of people who don’t want them.
I was 15, and going to a high-school formal on a double date with my sister and two college guys, which made me insanely big-headed. As it was the 90’s, I was wearing a sleek dress and wrap, and platform formal shoes with 4 inch high heels. We went to the fanciest downtown restaurant we could find in our little town, and were having a wonderful pre-dance dinner. I was flirty, clever, and completely full of myself! My sister and I had just gone to the bathroom to freshen up before leaving, and on our way back down the restaurant staircase to our table, my date was on his way up to the bathroom. As I was smiling and flirting, my huge shoes caught on my dress hem, and I came crashing down first on my knees, then headfirst onto the floor in front of an extremely crowded dining room! Even though it was a truly spectacular fall, I thought there might be a chance my date hadn’t seen, so I looked madly around to see if he noticed. He pretended not to at the time, but spent the rest of the night making fun of me along with my sister and her date. That definitely brought me back to earth!!
Happy Birthday!!! No embarrassing tales from me!! I’m sure I would have some to tell but have worked very hard to wipe them from memory!! LOL!!
I have never told this story before, but it is amazing what I’ll do for fabric. Middle of the night, university dorm room, fire alarm goes off. I sleep like the dead, in a t-shirt (and that’s it, nothing else) I finally wake up, panic, and run downstairs. Several floors. In my panic, I forgot to add clothing. So I’m standing there, and it occurs to me that no one is coming over to talk to me. But I don’t know why. The next morning, I realized what I had done, and died of mortification. The lesson, sleep in layers if you sleep in a dorm room
I have never told this story before, but it is amazing what I’ll do for fabric. Middle of the night, university dorm room, fire alarm goes off. I sleep like the dead, in a t-shirt (and that’s it, nothing else) I finally wake up, panic, and run downstairs. Several floors. In my panic, I forgot to add clothing. So I’m standing there, and it occurs to me that no one is coming over to talk to me. But I don’t know why. The next morning, I realized what I had done, and died of mortification. The lesson, sleep in layers if you sleep in a dorm room
JOYEUX ANNIVERSAIRE HEATHER ! all the way across the ocean…XO
Happy birthday! How fantastic to celebrate another year…
My story comes from a couple of years ago when I returned from living overseas and was working as a “on the road reporter” for a short stint in time.
It had been a particularly busy day, with a number of press conferences and my work had just rung through to tell me about an extremely important press conference that had just been announced by the Premier (which is similar to being a Governor in the US). It was getting late in the day and I hadn’t eaten. There was a free sausage sizzle in the park on my way to the press conference, so I stopped and quickly gulped down a sausage sandwich before arriving at the press conference. I found my way right to front of the media scrum and placed my microphone right in front of the Premier’s face. During the conference I asked several (what I believed to be) well thought out, important questions and couldn’t help but notice the Premier smiling at me each time I piped up. I just responded by nodding at him with my “oh so serious journalist face”… After the press conference I raced back to the office to file my report on the press conference when my workmates started laughing at me. They each asked, “What is on your face?” I quickly raced to the bathroom to my horror discovered my face was covered in tomato sauce and I even had a chunk of onion on my chin. I had just interviewed the Premier with sausage sizzle face! I never lived that one down…
I love it that you make birthdays so much fun…
~stork~
oh my. the first time i visited your blog was on your birthday last year posting a joke! Happy anniversary to me, too.
I was a freshman in high school. It was the big game… South versus Sugar High and that was all there was to do in our tiny little Idaho town. So, of course, the entire 2 small town merged for a little ol’ basketball game. About 15 minutes before the Star Spangled Banner was sung, I thought I’d make my move to talk to Kory who had just finished his JV basketball game (the team was slaughtered, but he played great, of course). As I was finishing our conversation, I turned to flirtly (is that a word?) flip my waist length hair and fell right through the bleachers. Totally embarrassed (but not hurt) I made a joke out of it and pretended I was hurt saying, “Kory, can you please help me? You wouldn’t want me to break my leg or anything.” So as I was hanging from the bleachers (the old wooden kind that pull out from the wall), Kory came to help. My sweaty grip (he was touching me) couldn’t hold and I went crashing only 3 feet to the floor. I landed on a bar of somesort and dislocated my hip. The town doctor was there watching his grandson play and came over to inspect me. Concerned that it was broken, he told me not to move. So, they asked the band to disassemble…even the drum stage thing… so they could drag me out on the floor.
The game had now been delayed almost one hour as I lay in the middle of the court waiting for the ambulance, surrounded by the entire town. Finally the EMTs showed up and put me on the stretcher, but only after dropping me during the National Anthem. I only stalled the game for 1.5 hours. It has been years, and I have never lived it down. My dad is still mad at me because they didn’t refund his $3 as we were leaving. haha!
Happy Birthday! Most embarassing? Easy! Seven years ago, the beginning of June, one Saturday morning, we were preparing for a huge shindig in our back yard. My oldest daughters high school graduation party (it seems like I am always making parties). anyhoo, it was early and I thought that I would just slip away for a few quick yard sales. There was one in particular at a large estate in the area. I pulled around to the back of the house and started to walk toward the tables when I saw a sign on the very large screened porch saying that all the wicker was for sale. I reacted appropriately by thinking, its early, theres probably some great pieces in there. So, I walked as quickly as I could toward the porch, eyes focused on the wicker now in view and then…bloop…right into the middle of their built in pool. Now the pool did have a cover, however, it dipped in, I was soaked, and of course the owners came running out as did everyone within a block or two. there is no graceful way to extricate oneself from the pool or the situation. I crept toward the side where I took the owners hand and he pulled me up. To make matters worse, I had to get into the car, soaking wet and drive home where everyone was setting up for the party. Sadly, they talked about me and my yard sale addiction all day. I walk through yard sales very slowly and carefully now. Susan at Black Eyed Susans Kitchen
Happy Birthday Heather! The most embarrassing moment for me (that comes to mind, I know there are many others, probably more funny) was in grade 6 (6th grade for USA), our class went to another local school who had electric keyboards which we played with for a few weeks. One week, I was playing away with my headphones on, and found a really cool sound I could make with my mouth (to those without the headphones on, I think it sounded a little like a siren!) I was most embarrassed to find the teacher laughing at me, when I realised that people could hear me- you know, when you have headphones on, you tend to talk really loud đ
I’m still so embarrassed about this that it’s difficult to share, but I’m a sucker for cute fabric so here we go… While attending a UofU football game, the woman sitting right behind us was showing off some major clevage. My little brother kept looking back at her to check her out. So… being the over-protective, self-righteous BYU Cougar that I was at the time, when she got up to use the restroom, I followed her there and asked her to cover up. -Cringe of personal humilation here-
Well anyways, the clevage woman (that’s what we call her now for kicks) pretty much told me politely where to go and went back and told everyone she was sitting with what I had done. One of them responded loudly, “What did you say to her?” and the clevage woman said, “I told her where to go.” and another of her friends said back, “Good for you!”
Now everytime I go to the football games with my family, I run the risk of seeing her there because the seats are season tickets that are always in the same place :{ Needless to say, I’m still trying to recover from the embarrassment of opening my big mouth. What was I thinking???
When I was 16 I worked at the local KMart. It was staffed by a bunch of rednecks (I grew up in Texas).
I however, am not a redneck, and there wasn’t a lot of “fitting in” going on.
I drove a ’67 VW Beetle that my dad and I had restored together.
Everyone else? They drove trucks.
There were two guys who would go get the carts from the parking lot at least twice an evening while I worked.
While they were out there, drinking beer and (presumably) getting the shopping carts, they decided to get “creative” and move my car for me.
Those of you not familiar with a 67 Beetle may not know that two reasonably sized guys could pick it up and move it.
After several nights of annoying me with this bit of brilliance, I asked them if they’d please not do it anymore.
They said sure.
A couple of nights went by without them doing anything to my car, and I figured that they had found something else to do.
I was right. Unfortunately.
After one particularly bad night at work, when the manager made us all stay later than usual to “straighten” store, and the guys were more obnoxious than usual, I was ready to GO HOME.
As soon as the manager said we could go, I went to the back punched out, grabbed my purse and headed out.
When I got to the parking lot, I headed straight for my car.
I noticed that there seemed to be some kind of discussion going on near the door to the store, but I figured that they were planning that evening’s keg party/cow tipping excursion.
Again. Wrong.
I got into my car and drove off.
I turned right out of the parking lot onto the exit ramp for the highway that ran past the store and sat through a light and then proceeded to get onto the highway.
I looked in my left side mirror to see if it was safe to move over. It was.
Except for the shopping cart that was tied onto my bumper and dragging behind the car, shooting sparks off the pavement!
I stopped, not knowing exactly what to do.
As I pulled over, a truck pulled in behind me. A guy got out and asked if I was okay.
Sure, I said. I was okay, I was just angry.
He told me that his girlfriend (who worked at KMart) had told him what was up after dashing out to his truck after work, and that he had followed me to try to get the cart off my car before I got on the highway. (Nice girl, right? They didn’t like her too much either, I guess.) The light changed too soon, and he had to chase me. He followed me onto the highway until I stopped then he untied the cart and tossed it into the back of his truck.
I guess that the guys thought that I would hear the truck, but since the engine was in the back and extremely loud. I didn’t. I’d rather think that than consider that they were not at all worried about my safety anyway.
Anyhow, hope that you got a laugh out of the story, it’s usually good for a giggle or two.
And happy birthday!
I mean that they thought I would hear the CART.
duh.
My most embarrassing moment was when I was at camp and walked in on this older lady taking a shower. She was one of the camp directors and pretty grouchy most times, but boy was she grouchy afterwards! I felt so embarressed and so did she. Did that keep her from glaring at me and telling all of the other directors how upset she was, of course not. Anyway, I’d never want to live out that moment again!
Happy Birthday, Heather! Can’t think of an embarrassing story (my memory is horrible), but I wanted to at least get a chance at winning your lovely fabric. Pure eye candy. I love clicking on your blog and seeing some new creation of yours. You’ve got talent.
Okay….Here goes!
I was 18 years old and driving from my Jr. College in Idaho back home to Portland, Oregon. I had bummed a ride with two very nice guys that I didn’t know at all, and, in fact, met just before we left for home.
Here’s some backstory: my family moved to Portland just after I graduated from high school. I had lived in our new house for about six weeks before I left to go to college.
Well, as we pulled into the downtown area of Portland (I actually lived in a suburb…) I had the sinking realization that I didn’t know how to get home. No idea whatsoever where I lived. Of course, it was at that precise moment that the guy driving said, “Okay Dianne, how do we get to your house?” I had to sheepishly admit that I didn’t know. Thankfully, they were good sports about it, and decided to just “drive around” until I saw something familiar. A few large circles and a wrong turn later, we made it to my house.
After that, I made sure to have directions.
Happy Birthday!
Hmm…I have several stories like….wearing two different shoes to school in 11th grade and not being noticed until I got to work, where a co-worker pointed it out to everyone, laughing and pointing hysterically! Or the time my future in-laws came home early when my future hubby and I were “in the act”. I’ve never gotten dressed so quickly….in fact, my undies were in my pocket! There’s nothing like coming out to face them after getting caught…..mortifying!!
And then there’s the time I ran into a friend of my husbands who was always so friendly and jokey, so I thought I would joke back with him. He had a baby bed rail in his arms and I knew he wasn’t married and had no kids so I said “Jeffery, are you afraid of falling out of the bed”! Ha ha. He responded very somberly that it was for his sick, bed-ridden mother. Oh my gosh, I felt two inches tall!
I decided to join a community orchestra my first year of college. Before I joined, I had to contact the conductor. I decided to reply to a mass e-mail he had sent out with some information about the performance (NOTE: this was a large e-mail list). However, instead of clicking “Reply” I clicked “Reply to all.” No biggie, right? Wrong! Someone had broken into my e-mail and added a signature that attached to all my e-mails, including this e-mail that was just sent to all these people I didn’t know. It said “I have harry pits and smell like horse poo,” mispelling and all!
Soon I started receiving e-mails saying, “I have no idea who you are, but I hope you get the hairy pits thing worked out,” and “There is nothing particularly wrong with hairy pits as long as they are spelled correctly.” How could I join the orchestra now?
After that, I almost couldn’t bring myself to show up at rehearsal. However, I finally did, determined to keep a low profile and tell as few people as possible my name. Unfortunately for me, the first thing the conductor wanted was for all the new people to stand and introduce themselves – AAH! Deciding on honesty, I courageously stood, said my name, and said, “Some of you may have received a weird e-mail from me, so sorry about that.” I was met with a burst of laughter!
My most embarrassing moment would have to be a few years ago. My husband and I went up to our alma mater for homecoming. We arrived the day before the parade to hang out and party with our friends. We ended up at this local bar and drinking a bit.
A casual friend I had met a few times and about the only other girl hanging out with us needed to go to her car so I decided to walk with her. While we were walking down the street I suddenly had to pee really badly. I was fine until we stopped at her car and I was standing there waiting while she was digging for what she needed. I was practically dancing. (have you ever had to pee so bad you dance? I hope it’s not just me) So I’m dancing and a little bit of pee escaped. That was the worst thing to happen, then it all just gushed out. I couldn’t stop it. I had peed my pants! I haven’t done that since before I was potty trained.
I knew I had my overnight bag still in my car but my husband, who was still back in the bar, had the car keys. So I don’t say anything to the girl because I don’t know her all that well and we walk back to the bar. I had on these jeans that had the “cool” shading already so I was hoping people would just think it was the way the jeans were made. My socks and tennis shoes were so squishy as we walk. We get to the bar and I walk up beside my husband and noone has seemed to notice my wet pants. It was so loud in there and I’m trying to get the keys from my husband when he puts his hand on my butt being playful and he just looks at me like what the heck happened to you. I start laughing, then I tell him and he’s cracking up. I made him walk behind me and I put his coat in front of me to get out of the bar.
We ended up being so hungover the next morning that my husband and I both slept through the parade, which is the thing I was most looking forward to. I still don’t know if anyone else realized what I had done but my husband reminds me of it every time we go back up for homecoming!
So that’s my story. I hope it’s embarrassing enough to get one of those bundles. I love your fabric.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!
Hmmmm….a couple of years ago…being dragged outside at night giggling and squealing hysterically in a very short nightgown. Was fun but very embarrassingly revealing!
Happy Birthday!
Happy Birthday!
My most recent embarassing moment involved a public restroom and my 3 year old son. We were on a walk near the Golden Gate bridge and I was really hot. My son was with me in the stall and as I finished and got up to pull up my pants he screamed “Mommy, that paper is stuck to your butt!” (referring to the seat cover which is sticking because I was sweaty). As I am trying to explain to him that he needs to talk quietly I hear the woman in the stall next to me laughing. Then he says ‘Mommy what is that smell?” I tell him that I don’t know even though I can tell (and hear)that it is the woman in the stall next to us. Then he says “Just breath through your nose and you will smell it, it is STINKY.” At that point I quickly finish and we get out of there before I have to face the woman who was in the next stall!
Three year old boys are the greatest!!! : )
I have quite a few stories … much much too embarrassing to rehash on the internet. And ones I rather forget.
Wishing you a very Happy Birthday!
My wish – more of your tutorials please! LOVE THEM!
When I was just 23 and pregnant with my first born some 30 years ago, I went for an appointment with the OB/GYN. The nurse shoved this papery thing at me that I assumed was a paper gown, muttered something that sounded like “undress” and left the room. I undressed down to my birthday suit and took the rectangular paper “sheet” and proceeded to try to cover my bulging nakedness. When the doctor entered the room I don’t know who was more embarrassed – me, for my naive ignorance or him for having to see a very pregnant patient try to cover herself with just a rectangle of paper. Needless to say, the nurses never got out of the room again without me knowing EXACTLY whether to just remove my bottoms or all of it!!
Lovely quarters…I’ll play!
My son and I were driving down a riverside road when he yelled “Duck!” So I “ducked” my head below the steering wheel (not a good example for my teen)and…hit the “duck” he was warning me about. Of course he had to tell everyone we knew to point out how “blonde” his mom is. And now I hear that story told around town. I don’t think the duck made it…I hit him pretty square.
Happy Birthday!
I have far to many stories to pick just one, so I’m hoping for a random stack just by putting my name in : )
Happy Belated Birthday! Hope it was great.
My embarassing moment came two Halloweens ago. My husband’s department decided to host a family Halloween party. The invite clearly stated to come dressed in costume. My family all donned Nemo costumes: my husband the dentist, I was Darla, my kiddos were Nemo, Dory and Squirt. At the party I spotted my husband’s boss sporting jeans, a plaid shirt and oodles and oodles of hair spurting forth from his shirt sleeves. Puzzled, I thought and thought what he could possibly be (invite said to come dressed). He approached us and it came to me: a werewolf! As he approached, I thought it would be cheeky to imitate the howling sounds from the American Werewolf in London song. He stopped short, cocked his head and furrowed his brow. He asked, “Why the howling?” Not knowing when to stop I said, “Aren’t you a werewolf?” He tells me no and asks why on earth I would think such a thing. How to back pedal out of this one? I’ve now learned that some people are excessively hairy and don’t enjoy having pointed out to them even if it’s in good fun.
Happy Birthday.
I sometimes think I should be embarressed, but I don’t seem to have that in me. I have a bad habbit of joining other peoples conversation and then making the most inappropriate comments. And I embarrass my husband all the time. My fav is-
We were out to dinner with his family at a nice Chinese food place. After the meal they set out fortune cookies and I said that if you added the words “in bed” to the end of your fortune it made it more fun. Well his mom’s sounded so dirty. (wish I could remember it) I have never seen my husbands face turn that color before. I sat and laughed. I was once told that I laugh to much. Silly them.
My most embarrassing moment was in high school. At the time, my mom had pet cockatiels and I would often play with them before heading to school. Well, halfway through the day I’m sitting in Spanish class and someone finally points out to me that I’ve been walking around all morning with a big bird poop on my back. After that I was never quite as fond of those birds!
Hope you had a happy birthday!
Love those photos! Btw, my hubby and I are complete LOTR dorks. :o)
So I had a story all ready to post here but after reading through all of these my story would never win sooooo I’m just gonna hope for the random draw and save myself a bit of embarrassment. teehee
Woops! I forgot to wish you a Happy Birthday! Mine was last week. :o)
Is it too late? Instead of hogging space here, just go to a recent post on my blog for a great embarrassing moment. Happy Birthday and I am impressed that you will read all of these.
http://beebeemod.blogspot.com/2007/08/all-im-saying.html
Well, after going through my loooong list of embarrassing moments, I have chosen this one:
Picture this- It is 1972, and I am very shy, very unassuming fourteen year-old girl being asked “out” by one of the coolest jocks in the school. Girl cannot date, so she invites him to her house. BIG MISTAKE!!
We sat in the living room, within earshot of my parents and my brothers and sisters. Let’s just say that if the conversation were any more stilted, we would have been miming to each other. I played a few pieces on the piano, we listened to some records and played a board game. Or was that a bored game?
Now, I have to tell you that my youngest brother came in the form of an evil little toad. “Stealth” should have been his middle name. Anyway, Evil Toad Brother had apparently maneuvered his way into the living room and was hiding behind a chair listening to the entire conversation we were having, such as it was. All of a sudden, this little head pops up from behind the chair and shouts out “HAVE YOU TWO GOTTEN QUEER YET?” and runs away laughing his little head off.
All I wanted to do was to get away and kill him. That pretty much ended the “date” and any chance of my being asked out by anyone for the next two years. But it turns out, with that particular boy, it was no great loss.
Hope you had a Happy Birthday!
Wow! There are so many good embarassing stories that I don’t think that any of mine will top some of these. Like the time I remembered that I forgot to put on a bra by the time I got to gym class in 8th grade. Well, there were a lot of middle school embarassments.
Anyway, my MOST embarassing moment probably wouldn’t be all that embarassing for most. I was a northern transplant (funny, because being from Northern KY made me a “northerner” here) at a “southern belle” college in Birmingham, Alabama. It was really hard to fit in at first since my idea of going to class was in jeans and a T-shirt while everyone else wore pearls and suits!
My english literature class was very stressful. For the first time in my life I was in an environment where I was struggling to join in the conversation and say something clever. We had a laundry list of 18th centry novels to read and would have a quiz every day and a lively (me excluded) disucssion afterwards about the nuances of the text, the politics of the era in which the book was written, etc. etc.
I was determined not to sit there like a mute – I was never quiet and hardly shy, but these intellectuals in their pearls and pantyhose were really unnerving me. So, I decided that I would do my best to join the intellectual discussion. I studied hard for that week’s class. Not only did I finish the required reading, I also read the commentaries and did extra research.
The day of the class, I settled into my front row seat and waited for the class to start. The professor walked in and asked the class the starting question and I was ready. I was shocked that no one was answering right away so I called out the answer … nice and loud.
Everyone gasped and stared at me. The professor said nothing for a moment. At a loss, I asked, “Well, isn’t that the right answer?”
After a moment, the professor answered, “Yes it is, but we’re taking a quiz.”
I wanted to DIE! I usually never get embarassed, but I looked around and noticed that all the students had paper out and were in the middle of writing. I had forgotten that we had to take a quiz every day. The professor just didn’t say it was a quiz that day – he though we should be used to it. I should have been used to it.
Luckily, after a few moments, everyone laughed hysterically when a guy from the very back called out excitedly to the professor, “Will you count this on the test?”
He agreed.
From that moment on, everyone … EVERYONE reminded me it was time to take a test in class. I never lived it down.
Ok you would think after having kids not much to embarrass a person. But my most embarrassing point came at my third daughters birth. Ok those of us who have had kids ( given birth I mean) not the most lady like position then the doctor comes in followed by 10 med students to check out a birth that was having complications. OK excuse me who asked the person with their legs in the air. Not to be rude but I sat up looked around and just yelled at them if you are not paying for this delivery or a doctor or nurse that is being paid by me to be here leave the room. Nothing like a bunch of men realizing they just embarrassed a woman half to death and now they are turning shades of red which only embarrassed me more. they did leave thank heaven the whole world doesn’t need to know that part of me bad enough the doctor has to be in the room in my opinion. Any way baby healthy all is good and I can’t believe I just typed that.
happy birthday
sunshine
I don’t really have any super embarassing stories coming to mind. I guess I’ll just ask you to add me for the drawing for the other stack. Hope you had a wonderful birthday!! And thanks for sharing the love on your day.
Happy Birthday, Heather.
I have more embarassing stories than I can count. An extremely recent one though has to do with my wedding. I was reciting my vows to my husband “I will love you today, tomorrow, and…. um, I forget what I’m supposed to say.” Of course, everyone is laughing hysterically and saying “Forever!” No one has left me alone about it and I don’t think they ever will. Oh well, it is kind of funny….
Oh man. I have only told this to one other person. I was in seventh grade. It was in the late eighties, early nineties, I don’t remember. I was wearing one of those full length outfits that were popular (maybe only in my mind) then. Think footless sleepers for babies and then make it out of dark blue and aquamarine flowers cotten with lace at the collar and on the cuffs. About thirteen to seventeen buttons going up the front from the waist to the neckline kept the whole thing together. Small buttons. Dark, small buttons.
I was sitting in my seventh grade English class. Second to last corner seat in the last row next to the window. My teacher was up front talking about the book “Z is for Zachariah”. Six rows of desks and students between me and the door. All boys around my desk.
Really. Really. Really. Had. To. Pee.
Ten minutes to go of class.
Holding on. HOlding on. Please let my muscles hold on just ten more minutes and then five minutes more to undo the blasted buttons once I made it past the students and into the girls room.
No such luck.
I started to leak.
And in slippery, patent leather dress shoes with enormously slick bottoms I sprinted past everyone, leaving a small puddle on the chair, to the door and into the girls room to hide forever.
I got out of it by saying I was sick and needed my mom. I stuck it out until she got there. My friend’s told me that after I ran out, my teacher asked if I was on the track team.
When I made it back to the classroom, there was no longer a puddle on my chair.
I could have died.
My most embarassing moment was at the grocery store. There were some people ahead of us with awful body odor. My 5 year old asked me quite loudly “What’s that stink?” I tried to ignore her, but she kept asking. I quietly whispered to her “I think it’s the people ahead of us, now shush.” After a few moments she said very loudly “Don’t they know there’s soap and deodorant down that aisle?” I’m sure I turned 100 shades of red. And I know that the people she was referring to heard every word!
I was in my yoga class, in a handstand position. The room was so quiet that you can hear someone lift a finger from their mat. My yoga instructor wasn’t joking she she said DO NOT EAT before each class. I was sweating, not because of the position, but because of my tummy ache. We were supposed to stay in this position for about five minutes. Well, it’s only been two minutes and I have to go to the ladies room. BADLY. I took a deep breath and slowly went down from the hand stand position. I tried to be as quiet as I could so I don’t disturb my fellow yoginis. As soon as my toes touched my mat(to give you a better picture, search for: downward facing dog), my gas decided to come out as loud as it can. And please remember how quiet it was. Heather, it made an echo. I could just sense everyone trying to hold their laughs in. After my humiliation, I decided to roll my mat and continue my business at home.
I forgot to mention that there was about 35 people in that yoga room. 35 witnesses.
Happy Birthday Heather!
I have several embarassing moments that my husband loves to remind me of. His favorite happened on my first visit to meet his family in the UK. We’d been dating a bit over a year and this was my first time in the UK.
I have to say that hubby is an exaggerator and a bit of an antogonist. Shortly after arriving at Mum’s house, the three of us were standing in the kitchen discussing something or other. Hubby started teasing me and completely exaggerating whatever it was we were talking about. To defend myself and stop him, I yelled, “Bullocks!”. There was silence, then a little embarassed laugh from Mum. Hubby later explained exactly what bullocks means and that I probably shouldn’t swear in front of his mum.
There are more embarassing language faux pas, but I think I’ll spare all of us!
Happy Birthday Heather!
I’m a foster parent, and there are times when we do respite, which is basically babysitting for a day or weeks, while the primary foster parent travels or goes out to dinner, whatever.
One weekend, my husband and I had a lovely six year old girl staying with us while her foster mom went to her grown son’s wedding. I took the little girl, Sarah, with me to the grocery store on the first night so she could pick out some foods that she especially liked. While we were standing in the very long checkout line waiting to pay for our chocolate chip cookies and blue bubblebath, she turned to the (attractive, 30ish) man behind us and said, very loudly, “My mom has warts on her geniballs from doing too many tricks with John in our van!”
Everyone around me (the elderly couple, the young mother, the teenagers with Jolt, and yes, the hot man) was stunned into silence and totally agog. I assume they all thought I was her mother, of course, so it was laugh or start digging a hole in the tile at that point, so I just said, “Wow, Sarah, I’m sorry to hear that about your mom. I hope she gets the antibiotics she needs!”
No way am I going to admit any of my embarrassing moments in front of 300 commenters! đ So… Can I just be thrown in for the random draw! Some of these stories are hilariously embarrassing. You all are brave for sharing them with the world!
Let me paint the picture for you: small town, Catholic school, 5th grade, sex education class. I am one of the students. My own mother is the teacher. Need I go on? Here’s a few questions asked of dear old mom by my girlfriends and potential boyfriends during the Q&A session at the end: “Have you ever had sex?” (I remember my mother grinning and answering “I have three lovely daughters, don’t I?”); “Does sex hurt?” (Thankfully, I’ve blocked out my mom’s response to that one). My only consolation was that my sisters had to suffer through this same ordeal. Small comfort I tell ya, small…
Happy Birthday!
Happy Birthday, Heather!
I love the picture of you and your husband in old people costume. Very amusing…
That reminds me of a very embarrassing moment. I and my boyfriend were invited to a 1930s 1940s Hollywood theme Halloween Party. I decided to go as Veronica Lake. I tortured my hair into eye-covering swoops and found an appropriate vavavoom dress. One problem though. I’m barely an A-cup and couldn’t quite hold up the satin strapless dress. I decided to try those silicone breast plumpers–you know the kind that adheres with water. They are supposed to look natural (hah! everyone knows that I’m not that endowed! T’was meant to be authentically in costume.) and STAY PUT.
Well, you can guess what happened. Now, it wouldn’t have been a big deal if they fell off while dancing or any time at all during the party. When they decide to retire for the night will shame me forever. I bake. I’m cupcake proud. When I was presenting my cupcake tray and passing them around for admiration. My press on boobs decided to fall off into the tray of cupcakes! Buttercream splattered into one dessert seeker’s face. I can hardly think of it without cringing again. I’ve retired my signature cupcake assortment tray for parties.
I hope you had a fantastic birthday!
Heather, Happy Birthday, I hope it was wonderful! I love reading your blog đ
Well I’m just going to join in for the random giveaway. I love your stuff and I can’t help myself.
Unfortunately being rather shy and meek most of my life I don’t really have any great embarrassing stories. I guess it would be considered “embarrassing” that as a resident of Boston Massachusetts during the multiple Superbowl wins by the Patriots football team I had no idea who Tom (everyone thinks he’s a hottie) Brady was. In this particular situation he and his posse tapped on my shoulder in a bar and introduced him to me, BY NAME, I cynically complimented his gaudy apparently from the Superbowl ring and walked away after shaking his hand.
I never would have known if my friend hadn’t asked me about it, freaked out and tracked him down to confirm. All in all the night doesn’t really end up embarrassing for me. The infamous Tom Brady got pretty wasted, spilled beer all over my friend and danced on a bar clumsily.
Again, Happy Bday! Thanks for sharing your wares đ
Happy Birthday, always great to have a birthday in my opinion. Anyway, here is my brief, but very embarrasing story.
Last Summer,I was at a beach in California with my brother, and some friends (one of whom is a friend that I had a large crush on.) I was wearing this new great swimming suit from J.Crew and dashed into the ocean. As I came up from a total wipeout I could hear my brother screaming pull it up, pull it up! I looked down to see that my great new swimsuit was not covering too much of the top of my body, in fact it wasn’t covering any of it. I was so embarrased, I yanked it up and ran to our staked out spot and shut my eyes, hoping that they would all forget the awful scene within 2 minutes. Unfortuantely, it is still brought up today, and I am terrified of swimming suits.
As someone who gets just as embarrassed for other people as I do myself, the stories of everyone have ben making me cringe!
I’m very private about bodily functions when around my boyfriend. As far as he is concerned, girls don’t go to the bathroom or make strange noises from their body parts. I’d managed to uphold this image for almost two years of dating until one night after a sushi date. I love sushi of all kinds and have always been able to digest it with no problem! However, one night while we were driving home the sushi had an ill-effect on my tummy. I tried to be quiet about it, but then I turned bright red and was practically in tears. I needed a toilet ASAP! I finally yelled to my boyfriend, “Drive faster! The sushi is exiting the premises!” He drove as fast as possible, with my yelling at him every two seconds that I wasn’t going to make it to a toilet in time. Finally we get to his house, where his door is never locked. I jump out of the car while it is still in motion, fall, get up and run to the front door only to the discover the door was locked! By the time he walked up to the door, I was standing and crying with a dirty mess at my feet. So much for him thinking that girls don’t go to the bathroom!
Let me say that mine involves forty fellow Shakespeare students, an end of the year performance at a professor’s house and a old toilet. I had an upset stomach and HAD to relieve myself before my groups performance. Of course it had to happen right then, with forty other students in this small, old house. I used the only bathroom downstairs and thus the only one readily available for all visitors. It was one of those old toilets with the tank mounted high. Once I was finished–and boy howdee–I went to flush by pulling that long chain. And the chain just kept coming. I broke it somehow and of course the toilet didn’t flush and SOMEONE WAS KNOCKING ON THE DOOR! Well, I gently placed toilet paper over the evidence and emerged as if my stint in there was unsuccessful and told the waiting patron, “Something’s wrong with the toilet.” Understatement of the year. Of course, the waiting person was from my group. And did he heed my advice? NO! He proceeded cautiously and emerged just in time for me to perform my scene with him where I had to look him in the eye–knowing that he knew what I knew about that toilet. I finished that performance and tore out of that house so embarrassed I didn’t even take advantage of all the free food.
I’m one comment short…so much for sharing my story about vomiting on the subway in Boston…
It was about 1989, I was working in the garment district in Manhattan. My best friend I were at Sbarro (a really yummy pizza joint) for lunch. We were sitting at a counter by the window facing the street just minding our own business, chatting and enjoying our pizza. All of a sudden a small crowd of construction workers gathered around us right outside the window. They were all acting really strange, laughing, hootin’ and hollering. We were just looking at each other probably thinking something like hmmm… we must look really cute today. When all of a sudden my dear friend points out that underneath the counter there was also clear glass and I was sitting in a, shall we say, very casual manner considering I was wearing a MINI SKIRT! I was completely unaware that I had been providing r-rated entertainment for all the passers-by during the lunch rush in Midtown Manhattan that day.
Happy Birthday…
So in our first year of marriage, my husband worked for United Airlines which meant…free flights! We spent tons of weekends in random cites all over the US. On these flights, as representatives of the company, we were required to wear professional attire…yes, this even meant PANTYHOSE! We would typically deboard on our trips, change into something more comfortable to explore, then change back into our professional clad. On one particular trip to Washington DC, we realized as we were changing back into our flght clothes that we were an hour off and drastically late. Fortunately we had very little on us, and started running as soon as we reached the airport. If you’ve even been to Dulles Airport, you know there is a very long sloped ramp that leads to one set of main doors. Well, we tore down that corridor, through several others, never stopping, charging full blast for at least 5 minutes. We made it to the security gate, my husband ahead of me in line. We must have waited at least 5 minutes before I scooted in front of him. Then he squealed “JENN, WHAT ARE YOU DOING?” I looked down and apparantly my above the knee straight skirt (be easy on me, it was awhile back remember!) had ridden right up, and bunched at my waist. Due to the feel of the stupid pantyhose, I never even felt it. Yes, for at least 10 minutes, I ran flaunting my THONG panties and cheeks under nude pantyhose for all the world to see. I could have died. Even worse, when we reached our gate, we realized we were not in fact late, and that apparantly (due to the smirk, snickers and pointing) most of the people we had ran past were on our flight. Definitley not one of my finest moments! đ
Okay- I HAVE THE BEST ONE! So my friend was having a wedding shower and I was on my way up to her house. I had never been there, but I was familiar with the neighborhood. As I got to the street I realized I didn’t have my galsses on, so I couldn’t see the house numbers. I knew I was on the right street so I just looked for a house with a bunch of cars outside. I found it… lots of cars and a house full of girls my age. I rang the doorbell and they welcomed me in. I introduced myself confidently even though I didn’t recognize anyone? I politely took my shoes off and headed to the food! After I got a plate of food I sat down in the family room where everyone was gathered. I put my gift in the pile and started up a conversation with a gal next to me. After about 15 minutes, and several people asking me who I was, I asked where Lindsey was (the bride to be). They kind of giggled and looked around and said “who’s Lindsey”? I laughed with them thinking they were just pulling my leg and feeding my now apparent confusion. I continued to laugh with them… “funny guys” I said. Then I realized they might be serious and that I really didn’t know 1 person there! That was then the cute pregnant girl told me this was HER baby shower!!! I had yet to notice that all the gits were pale blue- meant for a baby boy! Ahhh!!! I tried to play it cool asking her where Lindsey lived- she told me her house was at the end of the street! I put my finished plate of food down, told them it was nice to meet them all, grabbed my gift, took the walk of shame to the front door, put my shoes on and RAN to my car!!! My car seemed like it was a mile away! I could hear them all laughing inside the house!!
Happy Birthday Heather!! Well here it goes:
A few years back, my cousin, myself and my sister went out for a late night snack at McDonalds. We were all going to be going to the NY Gift show the next day so we all stayed at one house. Having not seen my cousin for a few months, she was back to her old goofy ways. Once it came time to leave, we were headed to the car parked behind the drive-through speaker and menu. As we were walking across the pavement, 3 cars pulled up out of no where and were waiting for us to cross. So I scurried along, and my cousin sticks out her foot, trips me in the middle of the parking lane and I fell flat on my face. She stood there laughing as I cried in pain from my scrapped legs, face and palms. I got myself up and noticed that every driver in the three cars waiting for us to cross was cracking up. And since I was bleeding we headed back into McDonalds to go get some wet paper towels. When we walked in, all of the workers were laughing so hard, they were almost crying. They had seen the whole thing happen on the drive-through camera. And if it wasn’t bad enough, the next day while crossing the street in Time Square, my cousin tripped me again, in front of a bunch of people and a bunch of angry taxi drivers. Now I can laugh about it, but at the time it was just too painful!! But I still love my cousin anyways!
I’m like you Heather–not many embarrassing moments to share. I probably keep myself surrounded by too cushy of a social environment because I wouldn’t know how to walk away from a moment like grabbing my 70 yr old boss’ “jewels” and still be able to show my face the next day. That, by the way, is one of MY FAVORITE embarrassing moments shared here so far-seriously funny!
I’ll share a funny one from one of dh’s college roommates. He attended BYU, a very conservative university. He lived with 5 other guys in an apartment off campus. So, back in the late 80’s when, for WHATEVER REASON, COLORED denim jeans were in style the roommate took his sweet girlfriend who was wearing BURGUNDY jeans, back to his bedroom to have a little make-out session. An hour or so later, roommate comes out of his room, walks girlfriend to the apartment door and kisses her goodbye. He’s feeling very full of himself and planning to turn to his dateless roommates to brag about how cool he was for being able to make-out for the past hour while they’d twiddled their thumbs watching stupid re-runs on t.v. Unfortunately, for this guy, he was unaware that his WHITE jeans were covered in BURGUNDY rub-off dye from his girlfriends’ unwashed 80’s jeans. Talk about “levi-lovin”—-To this day, we laugh ourselves into a frenzy just thinking about it. Knowing how strict the environment at BYU is, makes the story even that much more funny!
If all of these people being able to air their “dirty laundry” of most embarrassing moments-even burgundy stained white jeans-isn’t proof of how very loved you are, I don’t know what else could prove it-LOL!!! You inspire people to be creative and to embrace the sweet, funny moments in life. What a beautiful gift you have! Happy Happy birthday Heather! xoxo~Eva (freshandvintage)
Happy Birthday Heather! My most embarassing moment was at a new job. I forgot to invite the main speaker to a meeting. Everyone was wondering when he was going to show up. Well, of course he wasn’t available on a 10 second notice so I had to reschedule the meeting. I very meticulously made sure to add his name to the list for the next meeting, but forgot the second speaker that time! “I am not an idiot – I just act like one when I get a case of nerves…”
Just wanted to wish you a (belated) Happy Hirthday, Heather!
I know, I know, you said no more but I couldn’t help it. It’s fun to share embarrassing moments with complete strangers!
The first thing that came to mind was when I was in High School and a small group of friends and I went out in the middle of the night to tp(toilet paper) the school. We were being really cool and hiding in the shadows and everything. Then came the moment where we had to jump a fence. Piece of cake right? Well I got all the way over except my feet ended up inches from the ground and I stopped. The gaping whole in crouch of my jeans got caught on the top of the fence and there I hung! That was incredibly embarrassing and hilarious at the same time. We all died laughing.
Too late? Here is a quick story just in case…..While shopping in the local fabric store with my 4 year old daughter, I knelt down to check out the clearance bolts a little closer… and wouldn’t you know a little gas bubble erupted in the form of well…quite a loud toot. My Lily immediately starts giggling, and when I stood up and started to walk away three older ladies walk by and ask Lily what was making her giggle so hard…to which she promptly responded….My Mommy just ripped a big one. She articulated the statement as though she had been practicing for years. Lovely huh?
I know I’m too late, but I am just cracking up at all these stories and have to add my own.
A couple years ago I was invited to the wedding of a co-worker. It was held at a church in a part of town that wasn’t familiar to me, so I was carefully following the directions and saw a church tower in the distance and figured I had made it to the right place. I went into the church and signed the guestbook and was soon whisked up the aisle to be seated by a very cute usher. As we were walking I looked around and realized I didn’t recognize a single person. I then saw a bridesmaid and was completely puzzled. The bride had shown me what her bridesmaid would be wearing and it wasn’t the same dress. I also knew the color scheme and flowers, and they didn’t match up at all with what was in the church. Thinking fast, I mumbled to the usher, ‘Oh, I forgot! I was supposed to meet a friend outside! I have to go!’ I ran out of the church and realized that there was another church right around the corner, where the wedding I was invited to was being held.
To this day I wonder if the couple at the first church ever figured out which of them invited me and why didn’t they get a gift from me :o)
Yes, I am blonde :o)
Oh I embarress easily! I know I”ve got one around here….ok, this is the only one I can think of. *hem* My family and I (I was in high school at the time) went on a vacation to Cananda, we rented a house boat and it was equipped with a CB. I got the wild idea to put on a fake british accent. I was figuring it would last for an hour tops. Nope! Everyone kept asking for me, people tried to call me out as a fake, and people from another boat decided that they wanted to meet up! As an attempt to teach me a lesson my dad drove us to that beach and we met them. All was going well and I kept up the act until my little sister frusterated me and I yelled out at her leaving my accent behind. I was mortified and they were not happy at having had the wool pulled over their eyes. The people we had met got on the CB and annonced me as the “liar” I was…terrible stuff.
Ok, I may be too late, but I’ll post anyway. This just happened yesterday. I am a new blogger and new bloggers hover over all the gadgets that tell you how many people look at your blog. So I check feedburner and it tells me I HAVE A SUBSCRIBER! Woo hoo, I am so excited! I run to tell my husband, who is happy for me and tells me congrats. Cut to the drive to the park today and “boom” it hits me….I ask, “did you subscribe to my blog”? He grins sheepishly….as I turn red.
So my ONE subscriber is my husband! Ha!
Happy Birthday Heather! Love that elderly couple shot! LOVE IT! Looks (and sounds) like classic good times to me!!!
~gyl
Happy birthday! I just had to give you my embarassing moment…My husband and I went to a friend’s house one night and got a little tipsy, instead of driving 30 minutes home to our apartment we decided to go to my parents house (5 miles away). When we got there all of their cars were in the driveway but they were not in the house. The hubby and I were standing in the kitchen talking and a disheveled mom and dad came walking in buttoning up their shirts. They said they were watching tv in their 5th wheel because it has air conditioning and the house did not. Mom and dad always think it is fun to talk to us while we are a little druken so we struck up a conversation in the dining room. As we were talking we all of a sudden heard moans and gasps and other noises coming from their bedroom. Well…when you leave my parent’s satellite on the guide page for too long it goes back to the last channel watched…Yup…they were watching PORN!!! How embarassing to sit there and try to have a conversation with your parents when there is porn going on in the other room and you are drunk. Not horribly embarassing but kind of gross!
My most embarrassing moment so far: At a dinner party of about 20 people. My mother trying to ask me something from the opposite end of the table, she waits for a lull in the conversation and yells:
“HEY, HOW’S YOUR YEAST INFECTION?”
Now, 15 years later I can think up many wonderful comebacks. Oh well, I can save them for next time!
After lurking on this page for months I’m finally posting. My most embarrassing moment. It was my first week at college and I was indescriminately making friends with anyone who would talk to me. As well I fancied myself a little on the funny side. So I saw a nice looking guy sitting there with an empty seat beside and went over to make conversation. He was wearing a Terry Fox t-shirt. I said he had a nice tshirt. He said thanks with much sincerity, and that Terry Fox was his hero. For some reason I thought that was my opening to make an attempt at humor and asked him if he had a fake leg or something?
Sure enough he did.
I nearly died. He nearly fell off his chair with laughter and proceeded to poke his leg with a fork to prove it. We’re still friends now.
*I don’t know if the whole Terry Fox reference translates in the US though so just in case not – Terry Fox ran across Canada with one prosthetic leg after losing his to cancer.
Well here’s my story.
I went to see my general practitioner for some problem, who knows what. My regular GP wasn’t there so I had to see his partner, who is blunt and abrupt and I don’t like him.
So we are talking about my medical issue and for some reason he asks me if I have regular BMs. I say yes and he putters around and leaves the room.
As he’s gone, I get thinking. First, I’m thinking about his use of “BM.” That’s what my mother called it, and to this day I find that term horrible and embarassing. I’d rather call it sh*t than “BM.” God, what a horrible term.
So anyhow, then I start think about sh*t. What is it, exactly? Is it unused calories? If it’s bigger or smaller, does that mean I’m burning more or less calories? (I was very concerned with losing weight at the time) (and oh, yeah, this was only about 4 years ago, when I was 36.
Anyhow, I’m thinking away, wondering, and the doctor comes back in. He gives me a script for my original problem, dry skin or whatever, and we’re done.
Except now I need to know the answer to the question I’ve been pondering.
So I turn to him, and I say, “Dr., what exactly is, um, “BM?” (I decided to use *his* term, mordifying as it is).
He turns to me, and with a voice that is both horrified and implying I am a moron, he says very slowly and clearly: “It’s a bowl movement.”
Of course, I could also tell the story of the time I walked across campus (I’m a college professor) with my skirt tucked into my stockings. I must have said hello to thirty students.
God I can’t believe I shared this.
Last spring, my husband and I went to New York City for a week. Determined to look like a local, I had packed my hippest clothes and on one fine morning we decided to go to the Met. After we bought the fairly expensive tickets I needed to take a bathroom break and told my husband I would catch up with him. I was wearing a long, multi-layered skirt and unbeknownst to me, all of these layers had gotten stuck in the back of my not so hip underwear. I entered the first exhibit hall trying to track down my husband when I caught a glimpse of my now bulkier silhouette in a display case. I was mortified and scurried to a darker corner, fixed my skirt and ran outside. I called my husband on his cellphone telling him I wasn’t feeling to well and wanted to go back to the hotel đ Since that day I always do a 3-step butt-check before leaving my stall!
I’m a week late!! Happy Belated birthday, Heather! xoxoxo
My embarrassing moment that I remember was with I was in the 8th grade. I didn’t know I had the gassies. The teacher gave us our assignment to work quietly while she graded papers. I was sitting in front of a classmate who was a guy. I shifted in my chair and out came a loooooooong wheeeze! Everyone looked up trying to figure out where the sound was coming from which they located to him. Everyone started laughing and joking he should step out the classroom. His faced redden as he’s sputtering, ‘It wasn’t me!’ And I sat cooly in my seat trying to look inconspicous.
It’s taken me several days of reading to get through all these. They have brought a badly needed smile to my face. Thanks everyone! And I hope that your b-day was a very happy one Heather.
Heather first of all happy birthday to you, may god bless you.
and i like the books which you have mentioned.
Wow, what a lot of comments! Happy Birthday to you! I don’t have a story, but I do have a question – what is that gorgeous purple glass? (right under that gorgeous fabric)
Haha All these stories are so funny. I have two short ones. The first one was when I was about 11, and I had a HUGE crush on this cute boy who had moved from Holland. Well he, my friend and I were all hanging out one day on her front lawn, and all of a sudden, I had to sneeze. It was so fast and so furious that I couldn’t stop it in time. I sneezed in the direction of this boy, and the next thing I know, the front of his shirt and chin was covered in my boogers. I nearly died. My friend was laughing and I was almost crying and the look of disgust on his face? Too much. He never hung out with me again.
The other one, was more recent. I was wearing this wrap dress (very pretty) and since it is kind of a thin fabric and form fitting, I didn’t want any VPL. So I decided to go commando, thinking this would solve that problem. Well it was fine until the wind started up. Long story short? The people walking towards me on the street all got a nice view of my lady bits. I’m surprised I didn’t cause a car accident!
Hi Heather – that picture is hilarious – your kids will really get a kick out of that when they are grown up.
One of my most embarassing moments was when my oldest daughter was 2 and my youngest daughter was about 6 months old. Before I go any further, let me just say my oldest daughter is an amazing child, a great helper, servant, listener, older sister and way too many things to list! But during this age she was having terrible temper tantrums and would get up every morning and scream at the top of her lungs for about 15-30 minutes. We decided to just ignore it and let her rip.
So one morning she really went at it. I was in bed nursing our 6 month old when I heard someone banging on our back door. Oh no! I answered the door and it was our new neighbor I had not met yet and he had another guy with him I had never met.
Him: “What in the world is going on here?”
Me (in my nightgown): “What do you mean” (Telling self – you know exactly what he means).
Him: “Didn’t you hear that screaming?”
Me: “What screaming?” (WHHHHHYYYY, WHY did I say that????)
Him: “Why is your daughter is outside, naked (in October), strapped inside a stroller???”
I could have died! My husband hadn’t locked the door when he had left for work. We lived in a really run down house from the 20’s – 1920’s that is with all of the termite eaten original windows so I couldn’t even tell that she was outside screaming – I thought she was still in her room.
She had gone outside, naked, strapped herself in the stroller and couldn’t get out. I thought for sure I would be getting a visit from child services.
We really get a laugh out this since she has turned out to be such a sweet girl. But that was a very trying year and was almost the undoing of me! (: -Page
My most embarassing moment happened back in college.
I was the only female of 4 students that carpooled together each day. We would meet each day at breaks and lunch and wait for the last person’s class each day to finish before comming home from the college. At christmas we were all very tired and very strung out on jolt, coffee, and anything else that would help us through our last exams. My one male friend, who was much taller than me was standing behind me in the lounge area. He was leaning against the cement wall, just where I had placed my coat. I was busy reading my textbook, and I silently reached behind me to get something out of my jacket pocket. I unzipped the pocket and reached in, digging around for my highlighter. Well, it turned out, after a loud screach from me, and a few explicits from him, that is was his fly I had unzipped and I was feeling around his good, instead! It was more than embarrasing at the time… and he, his wife and I still laugh about it to this day. But I don’t think my red face toned down until after the next semester started… and yep… I always look before I feel!
Christy.
well, this was really embarrassing:
As a teenager I went to a friend’s father burial….I had some black borrowed pants too long for me and then I had to use high heels…I just slipped in front of the entry because it was a little wet and my head felt first…everybody came out looking at me, sure that I almost passed away there…
My most embarrassing moment ever was in the ninety’s. The days of body suits that clipped up at the crutch. I had a black one that was also a g-string.(thong for the usa)
I took my sister to get her licence at the registry office. I stopped off to use the facilities and met my sister inside. We were there for some time and to pass the time I walked around and read some pamphlets.
After we finished there we took off for a spot of shopping down town. We walked almost the length of the main street when my sister noticed that the back of my body suit was hanging out on the top of my pants, instead of being tucked in and clipped up. I wonted to die as I not ownly just walked the main street I was swaning around the registry office as well. We still have a great laugh about it.
MEME I WANT A PIECE OF CAKE!!
Well my life is a huge barrel of laughs not monkeys! Let âs see whatâs one of the best stories to tell!
Ahhh⌠I got one for you! Well you remember when those “awesomeâ wrap around skirts were popular!? I thought they were and my mom decided to make me one! I was thinking I was SO cool and I had my little tropical skirt on . Of coarse, I had it neatly tied in a nice little knot with a yellow sleeveless shirt so nothing else stood out but that VERY colorful skirt! We were running around town that day just getting stuff we needed and we happened to go to the busiest store in town! I swear we were in there for more then 2 hours just walking around and looking at stuff! I wondered away by myself for the last hour and returned to my mom who was eagerly looking for me by the time I found her! “OH MY GOSH SARAH COME HERE RIGHT NOW!!!” was all I heard from my mom when I turned the corner to her. She quickly ran over to me and pulled my skirt together and in the process of this the whole store or what it seems turns around and looks at me because my mom yelled so loud! Come to find out those wrap around skirts do a little to much unwrapping! My skirt had come undone and I didnât even know it my whole booty was hanging out the back and I was dragging the rest of the lovely homemade skirt behind me the whole time in the store! What a lovely day for a wonderful fashion!
Well,I have a 4 yrs old little girl that loves to play in the pool,she has taken swimming lessons for 6 months, she did so good and never had a problem going to the bathroom ,she always would ask….So to my surprise I was a little chocked when in a trip we went to a pool and she did N.2 ,people were starering at us but I never suspect about until later when I found the evidence,well this repeat 2 more times so I decided to buy some swimmers diapers for her,well she cry and was very self concious about having to use diapers,I try to explain to her that what she did is gross and that make other people sick…so here we go to the pool with her using swimmers diapers,she reminder me all the way to the pool not to tell anyone ,she told me she would wisper when she had to go to the bathroom.We had gone to the pool late so we stay until pretty much to close time,by the time we got out of the pool the only people there was the life-guards,well right as we pass one of the life guards my daughter said out loud :”I didn’t poo in the pool today mom,aren’t you happy with me.” I almost die,I was so embarrassed.
Most embarrassing moment? well once I was feeling a little constipated in a college class. I really couldn’t hold it and let it rip. The embarrassment as everyone heard was just too much.
I canât say enough good things about this shoe, whether you are traveling or reside in a warmer climate, check them out. They are the shoe equivalent to the little black dress.
by Jordans 1 Phat Low
My brother watch me sit down in a huge wad of pink bubblegum and I flopped in the seat and never saw the pink bubblegum at all.I went to stand up and that when I felt my butt stuck to my seat when we were at the laundry mat and the place was crowded and my idiot brother said you sat down on a huge pink bubblegum and the laughed.Im like OMG you let me sit down gum and not tell me or even maybe STOP me from sitting down in gum and now Im stuck in front of all these people with bubblegum stuck on my butt.I was so mad that I had to walk around the laundry mat with a huge pink bubblegum stuck perfectly on my butt with my favorite white skin tight jeans and my white wedge sandals with mirrored sunglasses I know I was looking HOT.